Do you know the feeling?
You love writing, but sometimes … you wonder why you torture yourself so much.
Creative endeavors seem full of doubts and frustration.
Will this be good enough? Will people like it? Will I ever be able to finish it? Is it worth all this effort? Do I seem silly? Do I sound boring?
Why does writing feel so hard?
Since I started writing 4 years ago, I’ve had a love-hate relationship with writing.
I explored different ways to write. I’ve racked my brain to understand why the journey feels so hard. Slowly, I learned three surprising lessons about my motivations to write and how I could enjoy my writing more.
Want to know how I learned to love writing?
1. Write for yourself
Am I contradicting myself?
I’ve written quite often that we should write for our readers… to help, guide, and inspire them.
But I don’t think writing for your readers means you should not write for yourself.
The opposite might be true: you can only write well for your readers if you also write for yourself.
In his book “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us,” Daniel Pink explains the difference between extrinsic motivation, such as money and status, and intrinsic motivation, such as the enjoyment of performing a task. He suggests that intrinsic motivation stimulates creativity, but extrinsic motivation may hamper creativity.
Writing supports my business. When I publish more blog posts, I get more traffic, my email list grows, I sell more books, and my writing courses sell out faster. But these are not the only reasons I write. I also write for myself:
- Writing brings clarity—it improves my thinking
- Writing gives me a creative outlet
- Writing improves my writing skills—each year my writing gets better and my voice evolves
- Writing can be therapeutic—blogging and drawing about my self-doubt, for instance, has made me more confident
- Writing nurtures curiosity—every week I learn more (about writing or myself)
When I think about these personal benefits of writing, I stop getting upset about being a slow writer. I get less frustrated. I procrastinate less. And I enjoy my writing more.
I still keep track of business metrics. But I try not to let them spoil the joy of content creation.
2. Focus on the process rather than your goal
You may want to write a bestselling novel or a blog post that goes viral. You may want to generate more leads, double your traffic or get ranked number 1 in Google for your most important search term.
But you cannot completely control the success of your content.
That lack of control sucks and increases anxiety.
But we can’t let that lack of control take away the joy of writing.
This is true for any creative process. In his book “101 Things I Learned in Architecture School“, Matthew Frederick, recommends:
Recognize as normal the feeling of lostness that attends to much of the process.
And:
[Remove] yourself from prideful investment in your projects and [be] slow to fall in love with your ideas
Even a celebrated artist like Claude Monet hates painting, as Ross King writes in his book “Mad Enchantment:”
[Monet] loved to paint and, indeed, he lived to paint—and yet he claimed to find painting an unremitting torment. “This satanic painting tortures me,” he once wrote to a friend, the painter Berthe Morisot. To a journalist he said: “Many people think I paint easily, but it is not an easy thing to be an artist. I often suffer tortures when I paint. It is a great joy and a great suffering.
We tend to think everyone else finds writing easy; and we worry we’re the only ones struggling with motivation. We think we lack willpower, commitment, or confidence.
But this is not the case.
Many of us have to find ways to deal with anxiety and nurture the right habits, so we can achieve our writing goals.
Start with accepting that it’s okay to worry. Then focus on making your content better step by step. Celebrate each sign of progress … a first draft of a blog post written (yay!), an understanding of a difficult concept finally reached (yay!), an hour spent eliminating the dross from your content (double yay!).
Look back and realize how much you’ve learned and how much work you’ve done.
3. Tame your elephant
Have you ever committed to write every day or to exercise more?
And how did you do?
Over the past few years, I’ve often failed to keep up my commitments. Whether it was trying to work less, going to bed earlier, spending more time to write my next book, I struggled to keep up my good resolutions.
Why are we often so powerless—even if we really REALLY want to do something?
In his book “The Happiness Hypothesis,” Jonathan Haidt explains:
The mind is divided into parts that sometimes conflict. Like a rider on the back of an elephant, the conscious, reasoning part of the mind has only limited control of what the elephant does.
The rider may want to write more, but the elephant has other ideas. The elephant includes our “gut feelings, visceral reactions, emotions, and intuitions.” The elephant is a worrier and a pessimist. He’s resistant to change—we need to coax him slowly to pick up new habits.
The best way to tame my elephant has been to draw my inner critic and write down how she was undermining me. When you start recognizing the thoughts undermining you, it becomes easier to deal with them. It’s the basic principle of cognitive therapy.
Since I understand how my inner critic works, I can enjoy my writing more and slowly nurture the habit to write more.
How is your elephant undermining you? How can you coax him to cooperate?
How to get motivated to write
Even in the best marriages, life isn’t always plain sailing.
A good marriage requires “work”—a willingness to seriously listen, to look at ourselves and to be open to change. A good relationship is dynamic, not fixed.
Developing a healthy relationship with writing is a similar task. Don’t ignore your elephant or inner critic, don’t fight with him all the time. Be willing to listen, be patient, and find ways to coax him to let you write more.
Nurture your intrinsic motivations to write.
Get more writing done.
And enjoy your writing more.
Recommended reading on writing joy:
How to train your brain to write more
How to set your writing goals (and write more)
How to get out of a writing funk
Hey Henneke,
I have a couple points on this really interesting post.
First, the writing for yourself point. I find that whenever I write for myself, it always backfires on me. I understand that it helps to keep you creative and gives a creative outlet, etc. but from what I’ve been told since I started writing, it’s all about the reader.
Lastly, I love the second point of focusing on the process and not the goal. It makes it seem much more interesting to come up with ways to make your content better, stand out and be as great as it could be, rather than think of whatever metrics you’re expecting to have.
Great post.
– Andrew
Yes, you’re right – when I say write for yourself, I don’t mean “forget about your readers.” What I’ve found is that I can’t exclusively write for my readers – if I don’t learn something from writing a post, then I get bored, and that’ll show through in my writing. So, it’s a balance – address issues your readers are struggling with, but don’t do it exclusively for them. Write about things that you find fascinating, too.
Always appreciate your thoughts, Andrew!
Hi Henneke,
I hope you got the message on interviewing you or others on Brexit.
The people in the US want to know how it is going for the people on the ground of that policy.
Would love to have you.
Best,
Carol
I’m a little behind on my emails today, but will answer all tomorrow!
Hi Henneke,
I resonate a lot with this post. And, speaking of books, I already bought some of the books you suggested in your previous posts. I would appreciate so much if you’d suggest me a book on short story writing or creative writing, in the style of a course. I believe this is what I need now, another approach on how to engage readers.
Greetings from Black Sea’s West Coast.
Hi Denise
I’ve not found the perfect book on storytelling yet. The one I like most is probably “How to Write a Damn Good Novel” by James N Frey. If you find another book you like, let me know?
Thank you for your suggestion. I really read many reviews on amazon.com and now I am thinking to buy ‘Write Short Stories’ by Zoe Fairbairns and ‘Mastering Showing and Telling in Your Fiction’ by Marcy Kennedy. There are many books on this subject and this makes deciding harder 🙂 Is there a ‘place’ on the internet where blog/website content writers can benefit from each other’s feedback/suggestion? When I am writing I do need to know if I’m heading to the right direction.
There’s various forums for writers (Carol Tice’s Freelance Writers’ Den seems to be one of the more popular ones), but I’m not quite sure which forums offer useful feedback and suggestions on your writing.
Hi Henneke,
I love the Monet quote. I could see him at his canvas. Nice.
Barry
The book about Monet is quite fascinating, giving an interesting glimpse into the artist’s life and putting it also into context.
Thank you, Barry!
Hi Henneke:
I’ve been doing some thinking about this one. It “got” to me a little, I think.
Apparently many find you as relatable as I do (see above comments galore) but, since reading this over yesterday, I keep asking myself…Has that elephant become the rider and that rider/writer/me become the elephant, smushed underneath? Suffocating as all hell!
Scary too. Like being buried alive. That’s how I feel sometimes with “trying to be a writer.”
I love to write. I always have and most likely, always will. That’s what I know.
After that, all hell breaks loose and I don’t know if I’ll EVER be successful as a writer but, for some crazy, maybe idiotic, reason, I can’t stop trying. I just LOVe to write and want to do it.
For another thing, I’m used to answering to ME, and I just can’t imagine dealing with a corporate (or any other) workplace, for that matter. Don’t get me wrong, I find working for ME has made me work harder than anyone else could ever have. Still, I’m losing confidence and frankly, I’m not very used to that either. Oh dear—I fear I sound negative today and that’s just not me, either!!
Okay, shake it off and back to work—think I’ll go with it and keep on vigorously working away as I have for years now:)
It helps that you and some of my other favs (Sharon & Cathy, above, for great examples) feel the weight of creating great writing as an ongoing project, is tough—even for you guys who do it OH SO WELL:)
Sunny wishes Henneke! Thanks for all you do, Sue-Ann
This may sound strange … but I don’t know what it means to be successful as a writer. One person’s success is another person’s failure or so-so performance. And there’s so many different ways to be a writer.
And perhaps even stranger … I don’t call myself a writer either. I always think I’m not a real writer. So, I just think of myself as someone who happens to write blog posts and sales copy, and someone who helps others become more confident writers and find their voice.
Sometimes I wonder, whether we try to make things bigger than they actually are. What does it mean to be a writer? Why do we feel the need to be a writer? Why can’t we just write if we love writing?
Writing well IS tough, especially when we know what level we want to achieve but we can’t get their yet. Ira Glass says we just need to do the work, and keep doing the work so we’ll get their. Do you know the video?
https://vimeo.com/24715531 (only two minutes – I find it reassuring when I lose belief).
Sunny wishes to you, too, Sue-Ann. Keep writing!
The title of this post hit me in the face, Henneke, because it’s exactly what I’ve been feeling. Love the advice about writing down your inner critic – I’ll do that (I know she can be pretty harsh). Thanks for the tips on rediscovering the joy – very timely.
My inner critic is very harsh, too, and it’s been eye-opening to realize what she’s been telling me.
Thank you so much for stopping by, Sharon. I hope you rediscover your joy soon, too!
Thanks Henneke, I always enjoy your posts.
I got on much better with my ‘elephant’ when I stopped calling her an elephant. Now she’s a horse. She’s nervous, and she worries about me – a lot. If I listen to what she’s telling me, underneath she’s always trying to protect me. Together we consider what she’s saying, decide whether it’s true or not, make a plan for the threats and remind ourselves not to worry about the bits that aren’t true or helpful. She sometimes forgets we’ve had the chat, so we go through it again.
Once she’s happy that she’s been heard, I don’t have to force her to do as she’s told – she carries me willingly.
I love your story of turning your elephant into a horse, and how you working with her. Thank you so much for sharing, Wendy. It’s inspirational.
(My elephant is actually a small person who’s really angry and scared. Since I’ve found out she’s much smaller than me, I’ve learned to take care of her rather than get upset by her.)
Henneke,
This is something I’m struggling with at the moment, thanks for the punctual post! While I’ve established a good routine of working on my blog posts every day, for the past couple of days… writing feels a little bland, I guess? Not that I hate it but it felt like a chore like ever before.
And of course, that’s when my inner critic swoops in to save the day with questions like “bummer, seems like you don’t enjoy writing that much. Who knows, you might never find that motivation back. What would you do then?”
It’s comforting to know I am not alone in this.
After reading what your post, I guess the origin of my personal dilemma is that I’m too focused on the goal of completing a great post rather than to enjoy the process. However even I know half of the fun comes from the process itself.
Thanks for sharing and making me think. 🙂
Cheers,
Anh
You’re definitely not alone, Anh!
I often get that scary feeling that I’ve lost my knack for writing well.
One of the things I find is that when I start writing on automatic pilot, I lose interest, I don’t enjoy it so much anymore, and I feel lost. So, each writing project always needs have a small challenge for me – whether it’s getting to grips with an idea, trying a different opening paragraph, experimenting with drawings, or finding a way to make an “old” topic interesting again.
I know some writers can focus on producing content as fast as possible, but for me that doesn’t work. I have to enjoy the process and feel that I get something out of it, too.
I hope you’ll find your mojo back soon!
Henneke, I took that survey you mentioned above and it was eye-opening just to answer those questions! I have an elephant that used to obey me. I published daily and never felt bored or scared.
Not so, now. These days, I’m worried about me. I read somewhere about a blogger who had written everything he knew to write and took his site down. I do not want to do that. However, the elephant has developed a stubborn streak, probably from me not riding it every day. I was so sure, when fear of failure sort of hit my blind side. I definitely need to remount!
I owe someone a guest post in five days, and am hoping it morphs into the catalyst for lots more. I know I will begin writing it tonight, since I’ve thought about it all day and know what to do. I hope…
I’ve always had a weekly publishing schedule – and as you know, I sometimes take breaks. In the beginning, I’d really struggle after the breaks because my elephant would just trample all over me. I always thought I’d lost my knack for writing. Now, I’m more prepared for it, and I know that I’ll be a little rusty, but that that is okay.
You seem like a curious person to me (and I mean curious in a positive way – someone who loves learning), so I don’t think you ever get to that point where you’ve written everything you know. There’s always more to learn, and more topics to explore, and therefore more to write about – even if you venture into different areas from what you’d originally thought.
I don’t think writing fears ever completely leave us. The fears change, and wax and wane. But every time we conquer our fears, we get a little better at dealing with our writing fears. At least that how it feels to me.
I hope your guest post writing is going well!
Oh, YES! I know you post weekly! The highlight of my week, you are. 😉 I also am sadly aware that you have a human side and must take breaks from it. Always miss you, then.
I definitely am a curious person, in both ways! Haha! I do love to learn, but beyond that, I most love to teach and to help. This is why I don’t feel comfortable stopping with the blog. It’s loaded with lessons people love to find, almost every day. Since I have two sites, I think I’ll concentrate on the lesser one that is not completely developed yet, and for which I have not written half of what I know, yet.
Just have to get these creaky joints back into the saddle… 🙂
Thanks for being so sweetly encouraging today, for me.
I so enjoy reading your posts, Henneke. I am a wannabe writer and taking in as much as I can to get my butt moving toward my aspirations of writing and blogging and sharing my voice. I never really gave much thought to what goes on behind the scenes for those individuals who have made their mark as artists or writers. Thank you for sharing your insight on this topic. It has definitely given me a new outlook, new perspective and perhaps some much needed motivation to move forward. Your posts always seem to leave a smile on my face. That is priceless. Thank you.
What a lovely comment, Donna. When readers smile, I’m happy 🙂
Good luck with starting your blog. Let me know if you have any specific questions I can help with?
I find this very relatable with my painting, writing, dancing and marketing. Thank you for sharing!
PS: I love the snacks I’d been getting and I’m saddened that I just received my last one. I suppose I shall buy your book. Thank you!
Hi Jann, I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed the snacks.
Thank you so much for stopping by here. I appreciate it 🙂
In my corporate days, I was a director of three departments. The workplace was quite dysfunctional. The executive team decided to pay big $$$ to have consultants come in and conduct what were essentially personality tests on each member of the management team. While I hated how that information was used, I found it fascinating how accurate it was. I remember a team member expressing her surprise when she discovered I was a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 for being structured (10 being Uber-Structured). She said your departments are the most structured I know. My response was, that’s because I have 60% of all employees reporting to me. I wish I could let everyone do their own thing.
I had somewhat the same feeling about my blogs (bet you wondered where the heck I was going with this!) 😉 I felt I had to be uber-structured on the frequency, length, content…yada, yada, yada… It sucked the joy right out of my writing for my blog posts. And like, Mary Ann, I love writing for my blogs.
Yep, that nagging inner voice was a pain in the posterior. When I gave myself permission to ease up on the structure, it was like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Who knew how much that inner voice weighed? 😉 Great post, per usual, Henneke.
One day, we’ll have a cup of tea together and talk about our journeys. There are so many similarities!
In my corporate life, everyone used to think I was great at project planning. I juggled multiple projects and always dealt with the most complicated projects. But planning isn’t my thing at all. I much rather fly by the seat of my pants. All that planning is cumbersome. So now, I keep planning to a minimum and enjoy getting on with my work 🙂
Always good to see you, Cathy!
I noticed those similarities, too, Henneke. Tea would be lovely. 🙂 The “structured” comment was so telling. I realized it was tearing me up inside to manage people. Although I felt I did it well (at least I hope so), I’d rather manage myself. That’s a big enough challenge for me! 😉
Same here. I thought I loved managing people, but when I quit, I realized it had been draining me completely; it feels like too big a responsibility for me. This is one of the reasons my business has turned out the way it is – I can run it on my own 🙂
Henneke, I like the notion of writing for ourselves. Yes, we always have the reader in mind. But if we don’t feel a post with our heart, if we’re just doing what we think we’re supposed to, then readers will pick up on that. Its a delicate balance, but an important one.
Yes, so true, it IS a delicate balance. But once we admit we want to write for ourselves (while also writing for our readers) and give ourselves permission to do so, finding that balance becomes a lot easier, doesn’t it?
Good to see you again!
Hi Henneke,
I am reading this when I am struggling to keep myself motivated enough to continue writing. I think I should explore this idea of the elephant and the rider some more. It seems like if I looked at my desire to write and my inner obstacles in those concepts, I could find a working balance.
By the way, I find all your articles insightful. Keep doing what you are doing.
Thanks,
Daniel
The concept of the elephant and the rider is very useful in understanding why we rationally want to do something (like writing) but somehow struggle to actually do it. Human beings are quite complicated!
I’d recommend Haidt’s book (a bit more philosophical), or try Switch by Chip and Dan Heath (a bit more practical).
I hope you’ll find your writing groove again, Daniel!
I have read Chip and Dan Heath’s ‘Made to Stick,’ and I loved it. I will try ‘Switch’ first going by what I got from ‘Made to Stick.’
Thanks!
I find “Made to Stick” their best book, but “Switch” is a close second. I also learned from their book on decision making.
Thank you Henneke!
I needed that today. I was in the middle of losing myself by following too many pieces of advice.
Have a great day and thanks for sharing, Ilka
Yes, I so know that feeling of drowning in too much writing advice (or too much research about a topic). I get quickly overwhelmed, so I’ve learned to ignore a lot of advice 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Ilka. I appreciate it!
Hi Henneke. Great post! This phrase sticks out for me a lot:
“Will this be good enough? Will people like it? Will I ever be able to finish it? Is it worth all this effort? Do I seem silly? Do I sound boring?”
Add to that being an introvert, I can go into a thinking spiral of worry. But, reading that I should write for myself gives me more freedom to enjoy writing. If I love writing about something, then it will resonate with others since they’ll see my passion. So I need to stop worrying so much. 🙂
Yes, that’s spot on … finding ways to stop worrying is the trick to enjoying your writing more. Do whatever it takes to stop those worries interfering all the time!
And I agree with you, when you write for like-minded spirits – then they’ll love to hear what makes you curious and what you’ve learned, so they can learn from you, too.
Happy writing, Renayle!
Nice post. #1 is my primary reason for writing. I have my business and my blog is a supplement to my business. But if I sold my business tomorrow, I would still continue my blog. I love tea and I want to share that joy with others. There’s just so much to know!
Daniel Pink is right. Intrinsic motivation makes the task much more enjoyable. I really enjoy writing my blog posts. It’s a creative outlet for me that I seem to need and wish I had found sooner but am glad I have found it at all!
Yes, that’s the same for me. That’s a good point.
When I retire or if I sell my business, I still hope to keep writing – it’s become part of my life and identity now; it keeps me sane (sort of) 😉
Thank you for stopping by, Mary Ann!
Great post, Henneke! #2 reminds me to focus on the journey and not the destination. Yes, I do have to deliver the best content I can come up with, but focusing on the process of creating it takes a bit away from the pressure. Especially if you’re passionate about the topic. It’ll show.
Yes, I so agree with you. If we can’t enjoy the process of writing, we have to settle for a small moment of joy when we’re finished writing. But as soon as we have finished writing, we have to gear up again for the next writing task.
It’s much smarter to try enjoying the writing process!
Thoughtful post-Henneke.
I have found that writing is almost a form of therapy for me.
Learning how to change from a corporate voice to a more personal voice has not only
resulted in doing more business, I found that I was much more enthusiastic about sending emails out to my list.
Of course, I still wondered if anyone cared, and then I would get an email in my inbox
telling me how much a particular reader enjoyed and appreciated the content.
That made it all worthwhile.
The other important thing I have learned is to enjoy the process, and not be so concerned about the end goal.
I also love how writing offers an opportunity to connect and build relationships with others around the world. I guess that’s a form of intrinsic motivation, too?
And yes… enjoy the process and the end result will follow.
Thank you for stopping by to add your valuable thoughts, Ray. I appreciate it!
Hi Henneke, I’ve been exploring intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation for a while. Intrinsic motivation keeps coming out tops. The more motivation comes from the inside, and helps integrate and resolve my thoughts, the less my writing feels ‘personal’. It becomes impersonal – it’s writing that feels more inspired by the great muse of Life.
In my corporate job, everything seemed to be based on extrinsic motivation – it was quite a money-driven bonus culture. I only realized how that had undermined my motivation after I quit my job and read Daniel Pink’s book. It was such an eye-opener.
I find the internet world also quite numbers-driven – focused on external symbols of success (number of social media followers, web visitors, product launch successes, etc). I have to keep reminding myself that that’s only a tiny part of what matters.
“Writing inspired by the great muse of Life”
– I love that!
Thank you for stopping by again, Fiona! 🙂
Henneke, thanks for the article and this particular reply! I’ve lately been sidetracked by the Internet marketing world and realized how badly it was affecting me. Driven, driven, driven, but for what? I appreciate your reminders and look forward to getting back to the real me. ? intrinsic motivation!
I’ve found it a really delicate balance – to keep an eye on the numbers so I can know my business does okay, but not get so focused on numbers and distracted by what others are telling me to do that I lose the connection of why I’m doing this. That balance can be easily disrupted, and I need to remind myself regularly, too 🙂
I find the book The Path by Michael Puett useful as he talks about balancing the heart and the mind when making decisions. It helped me listen more to my heart.
‘The feeling of lostness’ -I like that. It is a poetic name for heuristic space.
Yes, I find it more difficult to grasp the idea of “heuristic space” than “the feeling of lostness.”
Grin.
Just think of a really really big black box you have to enter.
Someone’s trying to tell me something.
Last night, I got an email from Jeff Goins. His linked post spoke to the same problem.
Having just finished his fifth book, he insisted writing gets harder, not easier. It gets more frustrating and less enjoyable. That’s what mastery does, he wrote. The more we create, the higher the standards we set for ourselves. The more we learn, the less we know, the more we desire to know. The more we strive for perfection.
The Master, Monet: “It is a great joy and a great suffering.”
Hey, I’m okay with that!
I’ve not written five books yet (“only” three so far), but I wouldn’t say writing gets harder … it just becomes different. Some aspects seem to have become easier (e.g., structuring my content, and trusting the process as Kathy mentions above) while other aspects may become harder. Interesting point – I need to explore and think about this a little more. I guess it might be different for different people.
Thank you for adding this, Kate!
Ah, motivation. Keeping your mind focused on the journey and not the outcomes. Patience and joy…and trust in the process. I think that’s sometimes what happens. We get impatient, think it’s not working, and then try to force it to happen. Then the frustration mounts and we have to reset and find out centre again.
Yes, yes, yes… trust in the process. But that’s not easy to achieve, isn’t it? I found it took me a long time to start trusting my writing process. Do you think it’s harder for people like us who start writing later in life?
In general, I think it’s harder for adults, but even people who start young can get caught in “it should be better” as they get older. It’s like they suddenly come out of their youthful trance of not knowing any better and try to make it happen, or judge it too harshly. I think it has a lot to do with the concept of ‘flow’. When you are lost in the process, there is no room for analyzing the “should’s”. I saw a great masterclass recently between Steven Spielberg and John Williams. Spielberg said this great thing…he said (more or less), “The most important thing is to master your craft. Don’t worry about being an artist. Let other people think of you as an artist. Just concentrate on your craft.” Essentially, don’t worry about outcomes you can’t control, just focus on the process.
Interesting. I don’t see myself as a writer either. And I cringe when people refer to my drawings as art.
I’ve had a long period last year and early this year where I struggled to get into a flow, but it was still possible to write and I could still have brief moments where I was playing with words – which I guess is just a variance of being in a flow, even if it felt too short for it.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that if flow is elusive, it’s still possible to bargain with our inner critics and get on with writing.
That’s true. In sport, you can still play, and still win, even if it’s an ugly win (not in flow). You can get the job done. You can still write and even produce decent work, even if it’s harder.
Hi Henneke.
Wow! The quote from “The Happiness Hypothesis” really hit home. I took a few minutes to write down what my inner critic was telling me and I don’t like her! It’s good to get another opinion but boy is she critical! 🙂
I’ve reserved Heidt’s book and can’t wait to see what other nuggets are in there.
Thanks for the insights. Super helpful.
My inner critic is pretty crazy, too. Now I know how crazy she is, she and I can laugh about it together 😉
The book by Haidt is quite fascinating – an interesting mix of philosophy and science. I hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know?
Always good to see your face again, Melissa!
Thank you Henneke,
My only problem with writing is that it is a solitary act. I am too social, which is excuse by party proclivity. Also…when writing one finds out what one really thinks and feels. Shocking!
Best, from rainy USA.
C A Hall
Yes, revealing your own thoughts can be shocking… I found that out when I was writing about my inner critic!
I’m quite social, but I love solitary work, too, so I’m not sure how you can make yourself feel at ease with solitary work. Have you tried writing in a cafe? Or writing a piece of content together with someone else? It doesn’t cut out the solitary work completely, but might ease some of the pain?
Hi Henneke
These are counter-intuitive lessons indeed, but they make sense and reinforce both what I have heard from others and also what I have discovered for myself.
I first heard “Write for yourself” from Sean d’Souza over at Psychotactics.com. He says he always writes for himself first, to codify his knowledge and clarify his understanding. That was an eyeopener for me, as every one of his products is also based around specific client’s needs. And because in these days of online engagement, many bloggers say “Ask your audience, don’t waste time creating stuff they may not want.”
I guess the reality is that we need both: to write (or create) for our own actualisation so that we have enough inner drive, and yet also with the questions in mind that our potential clients have asked us.
I first met the “elephant, resistant to change” in the book Switch: How to Change when Change is Hard. An excellent read by Chip and Dan Heath, I cannot recommend it enough. It taught me about how my intrinsic, gut feelings will come out in my actions far more often that my rational intentions.
What I have found overall is that putting tiny pieces of process in place on a regular basis gets things done for me, far more than huge efforts now and then. I’ve done my fair share of crash and burn!
Thank you.
I’ll be watching to see what other readers have to say 🙂
Alison
I also first learned about the elephant and his rider in the book by Chip and Dan Heath (they’re my favorite business writers – I love “Made to Stick”). When I recently was re-reading some of text I had highlighted in their book (I’ve read it on Kindle), I noticed that they referred to Jonathan Haidt as the original source, so I became curious about his book (“The Happiness Hypothesis”) – it’s completely different, but quite fascinating, too.
I like your point about putting tiny pieces of process in place. That works for me, too – I also used to crash and burn, but now I quite like the tiny-step-by-tiny-step approach; it saves a lot of stress and in the end, I get probably more done than when I binge-work.
Thank you for adding your thoughts, Alison – I appreciate it, as always.