Ridiculous.
That’s what I thought when I read her email.
She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
How can she refer to me as an example of someone creating fearlessly authentic content?
Me??? Fearless???
Hmmm.
The idea was bugging me.
And after a while I began wondering—perhaps it looks different from the outside?
You don’t see me hesitating to press the publish button. You don’t see me endlessly polishing my text because I’m scared it’s not good enough. You don’t see the shock on my face when I realize my subject line contains a typo. You don’t hear me berating my stupidity when I send out an email by accident to more than 1,000 subscribers.
The truth is I’m not so confident. I sometimes feel stupid. And embarrassed.
When you look at other bloggers, do you admire their confidence? Do you perhaps feel intimidated by their success?
Often we don’t see other people’s mistakes. And if we do witness their missteps, we consider it part of their learning curve.
But when we make a mistake?
Missteps crush our confidence, sending us into the dark pit of self-doubt and embarrassment.
Why do we forgive others but not ourselves?
Why does our self-image crumble each time we make a tiny mistake?
We get things wrong anyway
Since starting my business, I’ve done my fair share of stupid things.
And things haven’t always looked sunny.
Early 2014, I put all client work on hold. I reduced my guest blogging commitments. And I spent 3 precious months to develop a business blogging course. Full time.
I tested the course with 3 people. I made a few changes based on their feedback.
I knew the course was good.
But when I launched my course, my marketing was a shambles. I had poured all my energy in developing the course, not in marketing it. The course should have been my main source of income, but only 9 people signed up.
Initially, I felt I had wasted 3 precious months to develop this course.
How stupid of me!
And I considered drastic changes—like cutting the course down so I could make it cheaper, or making a self-study version.
But I listened to people taking the course. I learned why they signed up and why they thought the course was so good. I sharpened my product launching skills. I improved the syllabus. I changed my launch emails and sales copy.
And this time?
Within one hour of registration opening, 10 people signed up. The 24 places sold out well before the deadline. I even had to disappoint people because the course was already full.
When we make a mistake in one part of our business, it doesn’t mean our whole business sucks.
And making mistakes doesn’t mean we suck.
Our business path doesn’t have GPS coordinates
We like to have a blueprint and know exactly what we need to do and how.
We like certainties.
But running a business is not like getting on a flight to Washington, taking the train to London, or driving to the supermarket.
In business, we can’t know exactly who our audience will be. We can’t know exactly what they’ll like to buy and how much they’ll pay for it.
To move forward in business, we have to embrace uncertainty. We have to accept a trial-and-error approach.
Do you think uncertainty is risky?
Uncertainty also means unexpected opportunities.
A testimonial can help write better sales copy. A blog comment can give you an idea for your next book. An email from a reader may give you an idea for your next course.
When you see running a business as an ongoing learning experience, you become open for new opportunities, and more forgiving of your mistakes.
I wish I could tell you about a magic switch. Flip the switch, and at once you become kinder to yourself. You accept your mistakes. You learn to enjoy the journey.
But the truth is … changing your mindset is hard work. Learning to be kind to yourself is difficult.
A few things have helped me …
- Realize how much energy I’m wasting by getting frustrated with myself. What would I rather do with this energy?
- Take better care of myself. Eat well. Sleep well. Take more breaks.
- Find like-minded people to support me.
I don’t feel at home in the world of internet marketing
Too gung-ho. Too commercial. Too slick. Too much chasing more money.
But I’ve noticed recently that I’ve given up trying to fit in.
I’ve tried to fit in my whole life and it doesn’t work. Too difficult. Too exhausting. Too soul-destroying.
So slowly and quietly, and almost by accident, I’ve been building my own tribe. With you. With people who care. With people who feel inspiring one reader is more important than a handful of likes or an extra sale.
Find your own tribe
As a small business owner, you have a huge advantage. You don’t need to appeal to everyone.
When you work with the people who share your attitude, work becomes more rewarding, more energizing, and more fun.
So build your business on your strengths. Your beliefs. Your personality.
Believe in yourself.
And be kind to yourself.
Special thanks to Sonia whose email inspired this post.
Recommended reading on building your business:
Are these 5 common beliefs sabotaging your online marketing?
How to get unstuck (and build a business you’ll love)
How to write a business manifesto (for a tiny biz)
Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable and honest post. It’s refreshing to hear from someone who doesn’t have it all figured out and is willing to share their mistakes and insecurities. Your message about being kind to ourselves and embracing uncertainty is so important, especially in the world of business where we often feel pressure to have all the answers. Your advice to find our own tribe and build our businesses on our strengths and beliefs is inspiring and empowering. Thank you for reminding us that success doesn’t have to look a certain way and that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
I’m so glad you found this blog post and found it useful. Thank you for stopping by, Rose.
Henneke,
Thank you for another great post. I love the way you write in “snackable” bites. The person who said it was for 5th graders was clearly long-winded and boring. I, too, am tired of trying to fit in. It’s exhausting, and so unnecessary. I don’t want to become someone else.
Haha. Yes, he probably was boring. I’m glad you like the snackables, Vicky 😀
And yes, why try to fit in and become someone else? Be you!
Thank you for this great article, it was exactly what I needed! So true, and very inspiring. Why would anyone want to fit in, when they’re totally cool just as they are?! 😉 As always, love your work. All the best, Jessica
Yep, so true. As Dr Seuss wrote: “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
So why try to fit in? Or become someone else?
I found it so refreshingly honest that you shared the actual number of enrolments for your first course. It wasn’t the success you hoped for but you persevered, identified the problem and got a better result next time.
Reading other people’s comments shows you have really hit a chord, you are building a great family.
Yes, it wasn’t easy to persevere, but I’m glad I did! 🙂
I recently heard from someone who only had 2 people sign up when he first launched a specific course; and now the same course is selling out year after year.
Great article, once again! Every time I read an email or blog post from you, I’m reminded all over again why I follow you. Thanks so much!
That’s lovely to hear. Thank you, Terri 🙂
Henneke,
Thank you for creating such a transparent post. Showing your reality check moments helps me to know that step by step the achievement of the dream can be realized.
Yes it can be realized!
Glad to hear you found the post useful, Donna.
Henneke, oh Henneke. Where do I begin?
I’ve been wrestling with these issues for almost 3 years. And I’m sick and tired of kicking my own ass because I think that I’m not good enough for the Internet world.
My personal story is like most others who read your posts. Many of us made the decision to start an Internet business. Selling books, physical products, information, and our experience. To us, these businesses represent our future.
At 61 years old and working for over 41 years in the construction business, 12 years as owner of a successful construction management business, I’m burnt out. My work has lost its spark. I need a to make a change.
I’m searching for something that will serve as an outlet for my creativity and has the possibility for my future. And as you get older, you realize and accept the fact that time isn’t on your side and there are only so many creative days remaining.
But no matter how successful I’ve been in my main business, I lack the confidence to publish my blog post or email newsletter. Truthfully, I’m scared shitless.
Did I make a mistake? Will readers think I’m a moron? Am I a moron? What if I fail?
So my work sits on a hard drive on my computer instead of the Internet.
It’s sad maybe even pitiful. But I know that I’m not alone with these feelings.
So that’s why, like so many others, I’m drawn to your work Henneke. It gives me hope. I learn. I build my confidence if only for a couple of hours.
Someday soon I’ll press the Send button and your words will calm my fears.
As you can see from the comments, many people feel the same. And I’m sure there are many more people who read this, feel the same, but aren’t leaving a comment (some of them email me instead).
The comments you leave are always so thoughtful – they’re like mini blog posts. So, it’s perhaps worth thinking about … Where do you find the courage to publish comments? And could you tap into this same courage to start publishing blog posts?
Rather than focus on what’s making us afraid, it can help to think about … What is required to move forward? How can I make the next step so small I can take it?
Please take good care of yourself. Here’s an article about creative burnout that you may find useful: http://scottberkun.com/essays/33-how-to-survive-creative-burnout/
Take care!
Hello Henneke, to me uncertainty is beyond scary but I also know sometimes it can be an essential part for personal and business growth.
The other takeaway would be to stop chasing money to focus on what I truly enjoy doing and listen closely to my real audience.
I think that if you do something you are truly passionate about and focus on helping these people out, money will follow.
I know we hear and read about this everywhere but it only has one explanation: it works.
Sergio Felix
Yes, I would say life is more fulfilling now I’ve discovered what I enjoy doing and now I can “design” my life around my preferences and strengths. It’s not there yet, but it’s improving.
Initially, I found the idea of following my passions confusing, because I didn’t know what my passions were. I followed my curiosity and slowly developed “passions”. I learned which activities suck up my energy without giving any satisfaction and which activities might be tiring, but they still invigorate me.
Good to see you again! 🙂
What is most inspiring about your blog is that it resonates in almost everyone’s lives. No matter how successful you are or were, we all have fears of failure, looking stupid or feeling inadequate. You are the truthful reminder that we are not alone and the only path to success is keeping your head high, your eye on the prize and affiliating yourself with peers that have the same goals and are kind enough to share their experiences. Inevitably, someone else’s mistakes can keep you from the same fall if they are willing to divulge. Thanks for not only the wisdom, but the fun you create in learning.
Yes, that’s a good point – learning from other people’s mistakes so you don’t have to make the same mistakes.
I agree with you that no mater how successful we are or become, the fear of failure might never leave us. We simply have to find a way to dance with our fears and move ahead at the right speed – fast enough to learn an make progress, but not so fast that we feel overwhelmed by our fears.
Thank you for stopping by, Lynn.
Wonderful and inspiring. Yes, being hard on myself is a full-time occupation. Its easy to feel discouraged when the blog traffic doesn’t measure up or the Facebook likes are low for a certain post. Still, as you say, its learning by doing. When I realize its more of a marathon than a sprint, I’m easier on myself.
Yes, it’s definitely more a marathon than a sprint. The key is to keep moving in the right direction.
And by the way, it’s also difficult to measure the impact of a post – you never know who’s lurking and quietly inspired by your writing.
Be kind to yourself!
I loved your snackables! The cool part. They fired the imagination and helped me start thinking in a positive direction. They encouaged me to do what ultimatly I have to do anyway, —– fill in the blanks on my own relative to what we at our house are trying to do.
You said it best in this post, “Our business path doesn’t have GPS coordinates.” Your snackables and blogposts suggest ways to develop your own coordinates. And, you more than hint at that through just about every post. Thank you. Keep it up.
Oh, so good to hear that the snacks have ignited your imagination, Curtis. It’s surprising how inspiration can come from unexpected directions, isn’t it?
Interestingly, I got the idea for the snackable course when I read the word “snackable” somewhere totally unrelated to either courses or writing.
Wonderful post Henneke. The purest form of authenticity is just being yourself – that’s the real deal.
Yeah, you’re so right.
I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between who I am and who I think I should be 🙂
Thanks for writing this :).
It’s interesting that you talk about doubts and how you see your business. Because, recently, I wondered whether I was talking the right direction, I had the feeling my website was too messy, too amateur-looking, and I thought about other bloggers, thinking “wow, it’s so easy for them”.
Yeah, that’s so true. We always think that it’s so much easier for others, but we don’t see what’s going on behind the scenes.
I’d love to tell you that building my business has been easy, but the truth is that it’s been hard work. But the journey is very rewarding!
The key is to keep moving forward, and accept that we can’t get everything right.
Hi Henneke,
I’m so happy to hear your course sold out that quickly!
They’re in for a wonderful learning experience.
Uncertainty is a fact.
Nothing in life is certain. Although we tend to live in the illusion of certainty.
Understanding it helped me enjoy my life more. To take risks that present opportunities.
To be way out of my comfort zone and loving it.
Thank you for your inspiring post!
And thank YOU for your testimonial, Benny. I’m sure it helped sell the course!
And wise words from you – uncertainty is a fact. But we often struggling to accept it, don’t we? Why is it we try to live in the illusion of certainty? I’m sure some philosophers have the answers.
Glad you’re enjoying being out of your comfort zone.
Love this, Henneke. I, too, am tired of trying to fit in. And I’m tired of others thinking they need to, as well. Businesses don’t succeed by being cautious; they succeed because their owners dare to try new things and learn as they go.
(Ironically, I just wrote a post about forging your own path in online business myself!)
Yes, good point. It’s sounds strange, but in a way it’s quite risky to be risk-averse as a business, because it’s hard to get anywhere if you don’t stand out. And to stand out you need to experiment and dare to be different.
Great post on defining your “prosper”!
Hi Henneke
Surprised to see a long posting from you! haha. Oops. lazy me. An exclamation mark. :p
I appreciate your candidness about the mistakes made and all. This is something I always wanted to write about but am just so afraid to. Seeing how you just did it and the support you get, I guess my fear had been really unnecessary.
Yep, when you’re used to my snacks, then the transition to my full blog posts can be a bit of a shock. 🙂
I first wrote about self-doubt last year. And I was dead-nervous about publishing it. Once I posted it, it took me about two days to recover fully because I was feeling so exhausted. It can feel scary to show our vulnerabilities, but as you can see we’re not the only ones.
You might find that other post useful: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/overcome-self-doubt/
Go for it!
hello Henneke,
love your blog on personal matters. I believe no one is above making mistakes, and they cannot be bad enough to turn you off doing what you feel you need to do.
I have tossing and turning things a bit while learning other essential parts to set up my webpage, but am firmly set on being who I am and stick to my plan. That does not mean I have nothing more to learn, every day of my life is a learning day.
Keep up your great work Love Annamarie
Yes, so true – every day is a learning day. And when I look back to see what I’ve learned since quitting my job – it’s a ginormous amount of learning. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but we’ll progress step by step. Keep going, Annamarie!
“When we make a mistake in one part of our business, it doesn’t mean our whole business sucks. And making mistakes doesn’t mean we suck.”
This is exactly what I needed to hear this week, Henneke. It is one thing to know this to be true for others, for my clients… but another to believe it is true for me and my business. Apparently all I needed was to hear it from you.
*Thank You*
Yes, I’m not sure why this is, but you’re right. We see it so clearly for others but not for ourselves. Somehow we tend to be overly critical of ourselves.
Be kind!
Everything I have read and everything within me, says you are totally right, Henneke, but it is so hard to let go of the boat and walk on water! Ha.
Do you think the 3 months off that you took was a reasonable time frame for anyone? Or are you particularly fast or slow? I’m trying to schedule such a break and just wondered about how long it should be.
It totally depends on what type of course you want to develop in that time. In my experience, everything takes way longer than I imagine. So if I’d think I need a month, it’s probably closer to 3 months 🙂
Experience makes a difference, too. I had to learn lots of things like how to edit videos using Camtasia. The first video took about 5 times as long as the last video.
Henneke,
I’m delighted to hear that your course sold out!
It helped me a LOT and I’m glad to see that others are seeing the value.
Thank you,
jessica
I’m sure your testimonial played a role in helping me sell the course.
So thank YOU, Jessica 🙂
Just thank you 🙂
You’re welcome 🙂
Henneke,
This post was truly from the heart, I can tell. And I appreciate you sharing your inspiring story.
Along the lines of what Mary said, your blog always speaks to me as well. In the extremely short time I’ve gotten to know you and your blog, you’ve quickly become on of my favorite writers. And I look forward to every blog post you come out with. And you always inspire me to be a much better writer than I am.
You had a natural learning curve, which everyone does. And it’s something to never be ashamed of.
You do have a tribe here, and I’d like to think I’m a part of it as well. Unfortunately I missed your deadline to your course. Hopefully next time I’ll be much quicker to respond.
– Andrew
Yes, it was written from the heart 🙂
You missed out on the course as well? Don’t make me feel even worse! I hate disappointing people 🙁
Thank you for being part of the enchanting tribe, Andrew.
This is a great message, Henneke. More than just business, it is a timeless message about life.
You do appear fearless. Confident. It always amazes when you get a glimpse behind the curtain and see that The Great and Powerful Oz is just a litlle guy with a big vision. And the courage to act in spite of the fear.
I’ve spent my life feeling like I was on the outside looking in. Never one of the cool kids, my invitation to the party got lost in the mail. You speak to people like me, dear lady. Perhaps not fearless, but unwaveringly authentic.
I was one of those folks that didn’t make it into your blogging course. Maybe you won’t wait a year to run it again?
Thanks for all that you share. And for making me feel like I belong.
I’ve never been one of the cool kids either.
But now we can decide to have our own cool party, can’t we?
I’m so sorry you missed out on the course. I feel bad about disappointing people. If everything goes according to plan, I’m doing a copywriting course in the Autumn. But if that doesn’t work out, then I’ll definitely think about re-running the blogging course. Stay tuned 🙂
Hello from the other side of the pond!
Great article, loved the inspirational approach. My favorite quote of it “Uncertainty also means unexpected opportunities.” completely agree with it. Maybe one day you could write about recognizing those opportunities and how they become turning points on your career. Sometimes we think these opportunities -aka golden nuggets- look crystal clear, and they definitely don’t- just an idea 🙂
Take care and hope the UK is not as cold as Chicago!
Oh lucky you – in Chicago? I bet you’re enjoying the architecture there!
Yes, that’s an interesting point – how do we know these opportunities are opportunities? I need to think about that. I guess some of it is gut instinct. And some of it is learning to listen better. Hmmm… lots to ponder!
Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities and your successes. Your experience of creating the course really resonated with me. Perfect timing. The universe provides what we need when we need it and today, you are the universe for me. I love what you do and how you do it. Grateful for you being you.
Thank you for your lovely comment, Marge. I appreciate it 🙂
I love your honesty Henneke – how refreshing. And learning through your failures (although I hate that word – maybe we need another one!) in a positive way is definitely the way forward as far as I’m concerned. I hate the classic internet marketing model too, I’d much rather build relationships my own way.
Thanks.
Yes, I agree with you – we should not see them as failures; I’m not sure what to call them instead but the term failure makes me shiver 🙂
And yep, let’s build relationships rather than just sell!
Thank you for stopping by.
This was so very, very freeing. Thanks so much for giving permission to do it our own way.
Yep, please do. Give yourself permission 🙂
Good on you Henneke. You mentioned not beating yourself up which I think is vital, along with staying the distance.
Aside; Your RSS tool in the comments area is interesting. Is it a WP Plugin you’re using?
Regards, Larry
It’s the premium version of CommentLuv: http://www.commentluv.com/
I also like that it sends replies out, so it’s easier to have a real conversation.
Thank you for stopping by, Larry.
I soooo needed this! The timing couldn’t have been better. Thank you. 🙂
My pleasure 🙂
Great post and super important. A few years ago, a wise mentor helped me to make being kind to myself more of a daily habit. It made a world of difference. None of us are perfect and everything’s a process. Thanks for sharing your story, it’s definitely helping to motivate me through my latest projects. 🙂
Glad you found my story helpful, Leanne 🙂
Do you have any tips you can share to make being kind to ourselves a daily habit?
Hi Henneke,
This is a great post and it is timely in my own family–
Just last night I was talking with my daughter who recently dropped out of college. She was studying fashion and found that the program was teaching her to make mainstream, mass-market clothing. This is not the clothing she wants to design and she had spent months trying to make her own voice heard within that program.
After trying everything she could, she realized that she would never fit in the program. She quit and I haven’t see her this happy since she started. She was saying almost exactly what you said–that she is unique and that she can’t force herself to fit a mold. She has to do it herself.
She’ll make mistakes but she’ll also find her own tribe. I couldn’t be happier for her.
Thank you!
That’s such a wonderful story, Julia.
I’ve always struggled with quitting something as it makes me feel like a failure. It took me a long time to accept that quitting my job didn’t mean I was a failure. I simply needed to choose a different path.
Your daughter must be very smart, learning this so young. I’m glad to hear the decision has liberated her, making her feel happy.
Thank you for sharing!
“Too gung-ho. Too commercial. Too slick. Too much chasing more money. ” Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I don’t feel at home in that world either, and also took a step back to learn to be myself again. I was looking at myself through the lens of all that, instead of the lens of my tribe.
Thanks for saying it so clearly.
Yes, how much money we earn doesn’t define who we are. Perhaps it’s the dominant culture online, but we don’t need to play ball with the slick marketers. We can choose our own rules. Follow our own wishes for a lifestyle we enjoy.
Thank you for your inspiration, too, Marlene.
Thanks for an inspiring post that resonated very strongly! I really look forward to your posts.
Glad to hear that, Miriam 🙂
Hi Henneke,
I’ve been a subscriber to your blog for some time and always find it helpful and inspiring. I often finish reading a post with a smile!
Shifting mid-career to find my way in the “tech revolution” has been a learning curve. Your post today is a timely reminder that it’s just the method of delivery which is different and the message, information, and people are still people–thank goodness 🙂
Thanks so much–great post.
Yep, so true – people are still people. It’s easy to forget sometimes when we’re looking at pixels, traffic numbers, and conversion rates, but web visitors are people not numbers 🙂
I love that you often finish reading my posts with a smile.
Thank you, Tracie!
I needed this post today. And others like it, that mention failure. That mention that crap feeling when you make a mistake. That mention not knowing what the heck you are doing.
I’ve recently found you when researching copywriting for course I’m teaching. You’re fabulous. Thanks for being there.
I recently read somewhere that everyone is winging it, some people just do it more confidently than others.
Quite a lot of us feel like we don’t know what we’re doing. But somehow we’re still building careers!
Thank you for stopping by, Laura 🙂
I always really appreciate your honesty, Henneke, thank you! And totally wise advice. It’s really time you started to forgive yourself, you’re a guru and you just need to realise it! 🙂
I should listen more often to you and your wise words, Mel 🙂
Henneke,
You did it again! Your openness is both disarming and encouraging. The truth always resonates with people. Kudos!
Thank you so much, Liesje 🙂
Thanks as always for the encouragement, Henneke!
I really relate to this:
“In business, we can’t know exactly who our audience will be. We can’t know exactly what they’ll like to buy and how much they’ll pay for it.
To move forward in business, we have to embrace uncertainty. We have to accept a trial-and-error approach.”
Sometimes I feel like my professional accountant background trips me up – I feel wired for certainty and the trial-and-error part of figuring things out feels so very hard to live through!
And that feeling of not fitting in online?
Not slick enough, not chasing the instant big bucks?
Sigh.
Me, too.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way 😉
For several years, I worked in a management team with three accountants, an ops director, and me. So, I think I probably know a little bit about the risk-averse mindset. (And you can probably imagine it was hard for me trying to fit in!)
You chose to try a different business approach moving away from accountancy, so I’m sure part of you embraces change, experimentation and fresh opportunities. Don’t be too critical of yourself.
Good to “see” you again, Alison 🙂
Henneke – this post was beautiful, and a wonderful reminder that it’s ok if we don’t have all the answers all the time.
That’s part of the beauty of learning. And once we give up the need to be perfect, and just accept and embrace who we are, where we are, and work from there to get better – then so much of the unfair pressure we put in ourselves gets lifted.
Here’s my favorite part: “I’ve noticed recently that I’ve given up trying to fit in.”
Words of wisdom we can all live by. There you go being fearless authentic again 🙂
(Even if you don’t always feel like it)
Yes, so true – we don’t need to have all the answers. We simply have to keep moving on.
Thank you so much for inspiring this post, Sonia 🙂
Hi Henneke,
Loved this post this morning, and it came at such a spectacular time. Me too, I feel such pressure to be “perfect” that I over-think things. Yesterday I was really feeling it, and just had to say to myself, “You have permission to make mistakes!” (and to fix them!) And then you wrote this post. Here here for finding a tribe of bloggers and Internet marketers who aren’t slick and crazy. I’m very pleased to have met you online!
Uhm… we’re definitely not slick, but we are a little crazy here, Amy.
Well, at least I am. Hope you don’t mind? 😉
And yep, over-thinking takes up a lot of energy. Better to get started and see what happens. That’s a quicker way to learn.
Always good to see you! 🙂
As Joy said, this post is very timely.
Courage and belief grow faster when you have great support. Thank you! 🙂
Yep. I like your point about growth, because we can’t expect to go from self-doubt to confidence in a day. We have to allow our confidence to grow over time, but taking tiny steps forward.
Thank you, Richard!
Right On!
I really liked your post… Thank you And YES, be yourself instead of chasing after some ‘new’ marketing widget or personality of the day.
Business does bring opportunities when we least expect them. We just have to remember to keep an eye out for them, and not miss the chance to experience growth and change.
Yep, so true. It’s quite amazing how opportunities arrive when you’re open for ideas.
Thank you, MJ 🙂
Imagine if, as a baby, we tried to walk, fell over and said, I tried that and it didn’t work. I won’t try again.
Even big names claim to suffer from feelings of being an imposter and hoping no one realises they’re just as fallible as everyone else. The business people I trust the most don’t pretend to be perfect. They just do their best to provide good solutions that work.
I once heard a famous blogger compare good websites to a cool party, where people from your tribe want to hang out and be seen. Your blog does a pretty good job on that score.
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
Thank you so much for your kind words, Philip. I’m glad you’re enjoying the party here 🙂
Yes, feeling like an imposter or a fraud is struggle for a lot of people. Me, too. It’s not easy to solve. We have to keep reminding ourselves and find support from people we can trust.
A great quote there Philip:
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”
‘ Stop trying to fit in…’. This resonates so strongly with me.
The world is make up of a large variety of people with different values and personalities, and our mission is not to make them all happy! Our mission is to BE ourselves and serve our own tribe!
Have the courage to be our true self! And believe that people who needs our service, value our values and share a common vision is somewhere waiting for us to find them.
We prosper by serving the people who needs us, our true self.
Yep, so true, Sophie. We can’t make everyone happy.
I used to get upset by people unsubscribing from my blog. But I’ve learned that it’s a good sign. Some people dislike the way I write, and that’s fine. One person, for instance, called my snackable course recently childish – not fit for anyone over five years’ old! I have learned to shrug my shoulders – I can’t make everyone happy 🙂
Good to “see” you again.
You know how I cope with this?
I just tell myself that even Obama is hated, called the worst president , and blamed for starting the Second World War ( yes, you are see it right ) by more than 40% the U.S. people. So I can’t be a better person than him, can I ? Let’s how I shrug it off. Still difficult but hay, that’s what your tribe for! to receive vindication!
Rest assured, if you didn’t loss him, you might have lost us. It’s alwasy a trade-off. :-)))
That was just some silly snob. I’m better than you. I’m smarter than you.
I’m more cultured than you.
I hate sucky people like that.
Henneke, I was here when you first opened the doors to the EM blog. I’ve seen your progress, your growth, and your steadfastness.
I’m proud of you.
I remember when you first started drawing and how far you’ve come. Impressive.
And you’ve come this far because of your S your B your P. SBP
And I still remember you nearly dropped your cellphone in your soup when reading one of my posts! 😉
Yes, it was rather sucky of that guy. It felt to me like he was insulting my readers even more than insulting me. And that upset me.
I really can’t figure out what SBP means … can you enlighten me?
PS So good to know you’ve stuck by me these years, Louie. Thank you for your kind words.
It’s so funny that you remember the cell phone incident.
A brilliant blogger once wrote:
“So build your business on your Strengths. Your Beliefs. Your Personality” SBP
PS. I replied about eight hours ago, but I guess it must’ve gotten lost in the interweb
Haha. I’m not sure she’s that brilliant if she can’t figure out what SBP stands for! 😉
Hi, Henneke,
what an inspiring name you have, i truly haven´t seen it before. I really appreciate your approach not trying to reach each and everyone. This game is for other people and big companies. But it´s a long way to be confident in your own skin and in the IM world. I´m from germany and thought it was a disadvantage here not coming from the states. But i am, what i am, truly trying to help people. So, please go on and bang your own drum…:-)…
Hi Janine – I’m Dutch, but living in the UK. My weird name and odd accent are Dutch 🙂
I don’t think it’s a disadvantage when you don’t come from the States. My feeling is that attitude to life is a stronger way to bond than geographical location. You can find like-minded people across the world. My readership is very international.
Nice to “meet” you! 🙂
Definitely NOT a disadvantage! Oh, there’ll be meanies in any culture who feel bigger by putting others down, but some find a slightly different slant a refreshing thing, a different accent a charming thing.
And wise people will grab up any help they can get, from wherever they find it! Always love everything you do, Henneke!
So good to read this, Henneke.
It can’t be a coincidence. I’m beginning to understand the same thing lately.
“I’ve tried to fit in my whole life and it doesn’t work.”
“So build your business on your strengths. Your beliefs. Your personality.”
Thank you so much,
Karien
It feels quite liberating to accept that fitting in doesn’t work.
But I still have to keep reminding myself all the time!
Thank you for stopping by, Karien.
Henneke,
Your blog always speaks to me. You reassure me (seems I’m always having crises of confidence!) and you inspire me to both keep going and try to write better :).
Thanks for all that you do 🙂
Mary
You’re most welcome, Mary. We all need reassurance from time to time 🙂
This is very inspiring and so timely Henneke! Thank you. 🙂
Thank you, Joy 🙂
Likewise Joy! It’s been inspiring and timely for me as well.
Henneke, your post is a huge scoop of encouragement for me. I’m feeling less confident of my efforts despite visibly seeing the business growing. Your words uplift my soul.
Thank you so much. 🙂