What’s the foundation of good writing?
I used to think structure was the most important.
And it’s true that a simple structure helps communicate your message best.
But …
In so-so content, perhaps an even bigger problem are bad sentences:
- Sloppy sentences that lack rhythm and bury ideas
- Filler sentences that take up space without furthering an argument
- Overwrought sentences that try to impress rather than communicate
Such sentences sneak into my own writing, too. We’re all bad writers. When editing, I try to chisel away the sloppiness, the filler, the writerliness.
And I keep learning from the masters …
“All you have to do is write one true sentence.”
This blog post is inspired by the delightful book One True Sentence: Writers & Readers on Hemingway’s Art, a collection of 38 interviews examining some of Hemingway’s most interesting sentences.
(Thank you, Phil, for the book recommendation.)
When Hemingway faced writer’s block, he told himself:
All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.
Once you write one true sentence, you can write another, then the next, and so on.
But what is a true sentence?
Let me show you 3 examples from Hemingway, and then we’ll draw conclusions and look at examples from sales copy …
One true sentence by Hemingway
I love the third-to-last sentence from the story A Clean, Well-Lighted Place:
He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep.
Try reading the sentence above aloud, and note how it slows down in the middle: “and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep.”
With just a few words and two commas, a whole night passes by in one sentence.
But how was that night passed?
As a reader you can fill in the details. You may imagine someone tossing and turning. You may sense some frustration and stress. Have you been there, too?
Hemingway calls this the iceberg principle of writing. Only one eighth of the iceberg is above the water. Yet, an iceberg moves with dignity because of the large part under water.
We often think of writers as being in charge of a story. But a good writer leaves space for interpretation.
A writer and a reader co-own a story. It’s a collaboration.
Life and death in one sentence
If you want to learn how to write better sentences, there’s probably no more useful book to study than Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea.
As Hemingway suggests:
[The Old Man and the Sea] is the prose that I have been working for all my life that should read easily and simply and seem short and yet have all the dimensions of the visible world and the world of a man’s spirit.
I could quote almost any sentence from The Old Man and the Sea but here’s one favorite:
Then the fish came alive, with his death in him, and rose high out of the water showing all his great length and width and all his power and his beauty.
That feels like one moment frozen in time, right?
In the first sentence above, Hemingway described a whole night in one sentence (15 words), and here we have a longer sentence (31 words) describing just one moment.
As poet Brian Turner suggests, Hemingway freezes the time so we can look at and admire the fish in this one moment between life and death.
A cinematographic sentence
As writers, we only have words to make an impression on our readers.
Yet, chosen carefully, our words can paint pictures and make readers feel like they’re watching a movie.
Here’s an example—the 3rd sentence from A Movable Feast:
The leaves lay sodden in the rain and the wind drove the rain against the big green autobus at the terminal and the Café des Amateurs was crowded and the windows misted over from the heat and the smoke inside.
It’s like a movie, right?
The camera moves from the green autobus at the terminal to Café des Amateurs, and then peeks into the café.
Hemingway uses specific details—like the big green autobus and the name of the café—to make the scene feel authentic. We accept the existence of the smokey atmosphere in the café as true. And we imagine the hubbub of conversations.
So, what’s a true sentence?
A true sentence is:
- Meaningful: It has a clear purpose.
- Authentic: Thanks to specific details, a true sentence feels real, even if it’s made up.
- Easy to read: A true sentence can be short or long but its structure is simple.
- Polished: Each word is carefully chosen, each comma well placed. There’s no excess.
- Well balanced: A true sentence has a pleasant rhythm.
These same principles work in any type of writing …
5 true sentences from sales copy and elsewhere
Here’s a sentence from Apple’s copy:
True Tone makes your display easier on the eyes by adjusting to the ambient light.
And here’s a sentence by David Ogilvy:
At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock.
And here’s the headline on the home page of Dropbox:
Join over 700 million registered users who trust Dropbox
Outside of marketing, you’ll also find true sentences. The UK government website is a useful website for studying simple, meaningful sentences. Here’s an example on renewing your driving licence:
Your new licence will be valid from the date your application is approved, not from the expiry date of your current licence.
And from the charity MSF / Doctors Without Borders:
In a conflict situation, we don’t take sides. We go where people’s medical needs are greatest. In the ward of one MSF field hospital, you might find wounded civilians alongside injured soldiers from opposing sides. Hostilities and weapons have to be left at the gate.
Note how each sentence is simple and clear?
Each sentence matters.
How to write better sentences
When you read sloppy content, your writing becomes sloppy, too.
You are what you read.
So, to improve your writing, start by reading good, simple writing.
Next, review your own writing: Is the meaning of each sentence clear? Does the sentence actually communicate what you think it does? How can you simplify?
First drafts are usually sloppy. That’s fine.
The magic happens in your editing.
Simplify and clarify.
Happy writing!
Recommended reading on Hemingway’s writing practices:
How to write like Hemingway
6 inspirational quotes from Ernest Hemingway
How to build a Hemingway bridge (and maintain writing momentum)
On “truth” in literature: “Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.” I finished my English degree 50 years ago. I have no idea who wrote the quote… in fairness, it wasn’t me. 😇
Ohhh, I like that quote. I just googled it and it’s from Percy Bysshe Shelley. Thank you for sharing.
Enjoying your observations.
Thank you, Kent!
Wonderful article but I think there is a little more to the concept of “one true sentence.” There is a difference between a “well-balanced, meaningful sentence” and a “true sentence” the way Hemingway meant it (in my opinion). A true sentence is exactly that, it’s a sentence that expresses your truth fully. Find the heart of what you want to communicate and express it in the most truthful way possible. When you do that, your truth will resonate with the reader. Don’t write fiction, write your truth. I think your article emphasizes sentence syntax and technique more than the concept of “truth.” Once the truth is written syntax, etc. can make it shine even more in the editing process. Nevertheless, you give wonderful advice.
Yes, I agree a true sentence is more than a well-balanced, meaningful sentence, and it’s definitely not just about syntax.
I’m not sure I know exactly what Hemingway meant by it. Everyone seems to have their own interpretation, and Hemingway mentioned writing a true sentence only as a way to overcome writer’s block and to start writing. He hasn’t expanded on what he means as far as I know. I do think a true sentence can be fiction, too. There’s truth in fiction, too.
So beautiful Henneke…you are one of the finest writers I have ever read.
So politely, lightly and beautifully your writing READS.
Thank you for sharing such great insights on writing better. I love the point of “you are what you read. To improve your writing, start by READING good and simple”.
Thank you so much, Sami. That’s such a lovely compliment. You put a smile on my face today! 🙂
Just mesmerizing, Henneke. Your writing always inspires me and makes me land on your blog to know the insight of every post you write. Thank you.
Thank you, Shah. That’s a lovely compliment. Happy writing!
Wonderful. One more master advice. Simple sentences full of content. It’s always a pleasure to read what you write. Thank you very much, Henneke.
Thank you, Tarcisio. That’s such a lovely compliment.
I admire your writing style.
Your sentences are simple and the whole article reflects what you preach.
Love your work Henneke.
That’s lovely compliment, Deniz. Thank you.
Great easy to understand hints/tips. Thank you!
Thank you, Dannie. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke,
Yeah, this book is a real gem and a great find. I’m glad you found it enjoyable. I think it’s useful on many levels. Much like your blog posts.
The sentence from, “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place,”
“He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep.”
has haunted me for decades.
Years and years after I first read it. I can relate. On more than one occasion. For a variety of reasons. Depending on whatever season was challenging me. Tip of the iceberg stuff for sure.
I also think it’s cool that you put in the classic line,
“At 60 miles per hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock.”-David Ogivly
Simple, pure inspiration.
Thanks for the great post and shoutout.
I hope this message finds you well.
Phil
P.S. “Blurb Your Enthusiasm”-Louise Willder might also interest you and your tribe.
P.S.S. I picked up the book you recommended, “An Immense World”-Ed Young. Now I just need more hours in my day. Thanks?
One True Sentence is probably my favorite book on writing I’ve read this year. And Ed Yong’s book is my favorite non-fiction.
Louise Wilder’s book looks very interesting, too. So much to read … Like you, I’d also like more hours in my day. Or just be more ruthless with what I spend my time on.
I have to think of Annie Dillard: “Who would call a day spent reading a good day? But a life spent reading–that is a good life.”
Thanks so much for all your wonderful book recommendations.
Another insightful post, Henneke.
As a lover of words, I’m always looking for ways to express myself better. Hemingway’s legacy doesn’t live on because he was a slouch. Rather, studying his writing can only enlighten.
The Old Man And The Sea sits on my shelf gathering dust. After reading your article, I think I’ll move him up in my priority list.
I’m a word lover, too.
And I notice I’m becoming more of a sentence lover.
Thanks so much for stopping by again, Bill. I hope you’ll enjoy re-reading The Old Man and the Sea. I read a bit here and there again while writing this post. I will make time to re-read it in its entirety again.
Thanks, Henneke. I’ll check out One True Sentence.
I also agree The Old Man and The Sea is Hemingway at his finest. He makes the reader feel he or she is right there with the old man.
Yes, so true. It also feels like a timeless story.
I hope you’ll enjoy the book One True Sentence, too. Happy reading!
Loved this, thank you
Thank you, Dakota.
I’ve stumbled on your page while preparing myself in freelance writing. It’s a huge help for me. I guess all that’s lacking is my confidence to make the first jump in finding clients.
Go for it, Madelyn. You can do it. Perhaps someone you know needs some help? Or they know someone who does?
Thanks for sharing your valued insights on writing.
I am learning blogging skill at the moment to achieve financial freedom
I need to practice writing nonstop.
Please advise me the online writing tools in order to accelerate improving my writing skills.
I will stay obliged
I’m not much into tools. I like to teach writers to trust their own judgement. The tools probably used most often by writers are Grammarly and the Hemingway app.
Love this and the reading recommendations.
Thank you, Henneke
I hope all is well
Thank you, Dennis. I hope you are well, too. Happy reading!
Thanks a ton, Henneke!
Here’s one of my favourites from a report card:
“The dawn of legibility on his handwriting reveals his utter incapacity to spell.”
Ouch!
Many smiles and much metta,
Rohi
I hope that wasn’t your report card.
I agree. But hey, that driver’s license sentence is the limit. It’s not in any way fun. It’s just clear.
Wash your hands after you pee is clear, too 😀
Yeah, I know. But not everything needs to be fun. When I need to find some information about renewing my driving licence, taxes, or my immigration status, then I appreciate that the information is well organized and the guidance is clear. A lot of information on the web is still muddled up, lazily written.
Thank you Henneke. Great post!
Thank you, Holly!
I should have included in my comments that both the cerebral and actual compilation work required to produce this excellent post were tangible while appearing seamless.
The book “One True Sentence: Writers & Readers on Hemingway’s Art” was very helpful, as there was a selection of 38 sentences by Hemingway as a starting point. I first selected 7 sentences, tarted writing the post, and whittled it down to 3.
Your post is really insightful! Thank you!
Thank you, Irina.
This post was a pleasure to read. Not to mention the fact that the content gave such valuable information. I really must read more of Hemingway. He’s a joy to read. So are you, Henneke.
Thank you, Maria. I must admit I’m not a fan of all of Hemingway’s writing. It doesn’t always resonate with me. But I love love The Old Man and the Sea.
SO much knowledge in one post!
Thank you! This is for keeping and rereading, and rereading.
Thank you, Janet. I’m glad you find it useful. It surprised me how much hard work went into writing this post!