I rarely watch the news.
I prefer reading.
Yet, Ros Atkins’ explainer videos have attracted my attention on social media.
His videos are clear, well-paced, and engaging—even if the topics are complicated.
How does he do it?
In his book The Art of Explanation, Atkins shares his process for crafting clear and compelling explanations.
Atkins’ advice is applicable to most writing. For instance, on a sales page, you explain how your product works. In a blog post, you explain how to achieve a particular goal or solve a problem. We do a lot of explaining.
Atkins suggests explanations need to be high in protein.
What’s that?
High-protein yogurt is strained to remove excess water.
Compared to more traditional yogurt, each spoonful of high-protein yogurt contains less water and more protein. The result is a creamy, tasty yogurt.
High-protein explanations are similar: Readers receive a lot of useful information in return for the time they spend reading. The longer an explanation is, the more useful information it needs to contain.
High-protein explanations are essential in a world where we face tough competition for people’s attention.
How to craft high-protein explanations
Writing high-protein explanations requires more than just cutting excess.
First comes clarity of purpose. Without knowing who we write for and why our writing matters to them, we can’t create highly useful content.
Next, write simply without shying away from complexity. Relevant details need to be explained. Irrelevant details can be left out. These decisions can be tricky.
Lastly, be concise.
Shall I show you?
How to go from low to high-protein
Wikipedia’s guidelines state that texts needs to be clear and concise.
So, you’d expect Wikipedia to be a showcase of high-protein writing, eh?
Not quite.
Many Wikipedia pages aren’t easy to read. For instance, here’s the opening paragraph for the page on impostor syndrome:
Impostor syndrome, also known as impostor phenomenon or impostorism, is a psychological occurrence in which people doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as frauds. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon do not believe they deserve their success or luck. They may incorrectly attribute it to the Matthew effect or the Dunning–Kruger effect, or they may think that they are deceiving others because they feel as if they are not as intelligent as they outwardly portray themselves to be. Impostor syndrome can stem from and result in strained personal relationships and can hinder people from achieving their full potential in their fields of interest.
Uh oh.
That’s not quite like a luscious yogurt sliding down your throat and tickling your taste buds, eh?
So, what’s going on?
First, the worst mistake in the Wikipedia paragraph above is the decision to include the Matthew effect and the Dunning-Kruger effect WITHOUT explaining what these effects are. If you include a detail, you must MUST explain.
My recommendation would be to take these two effects out of the opening paragraph, and then create a separate section (or even two sections) to explain the differences between impostor syndrome and the Matthew and Dunning-Kruger effects. That explanation doesn’t belong in the opening paragraph.
Next, what’s also unclear to me: How does impostor syndrome lead to strained relationships? This needs to be explained. Or left out.
Lastly, the sentences are long—a sure sign that the writer hasn’t thought through what exactly to communicate.
To make the Wikipedia paragraph more palatable, slow down the writing: Make each sentence shorter and communicate one small spoonful at a time.
For instance:
If you sometimes feel like a fraud, you may be suffering from impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome happens when you doubt your skills, talents, and accomplishments, and when you think you’re undeserving of your success.
Impostor syndrome can stop you from achieving your full potential. Moreover, it can make it hard to accept praise, straining relationships.
I halved the word count (from 117 to 55) but left the writing mostly in the style of Wikipedia, just simplified.
If I’d write for my own blog, I’d go a step further and make it more conversational:
Ever feel like a fraud?
You may be suffering from impostor syndrome.
You’re not alone. Even high-achievers like Neil Gaiman, Sheryl Sandberg, and Emma Watson suffer from impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome happens when you doubt your skills, talents, and accomplishments, and when you think you’re undeserving of your success.
And the result?
You hold yourself back. You find it hard to accept praise. You’re not your whole self.
In the paragraph above, I address the reader directly, using questions and the word you. I also added examples of high-profile people who’ve admitted to impostor syndrome. Not only does this make the paragraph less abstract; I’d also hope that people would feel less alone in their struggles with impostor syndrome.
High-protein writing rarely gets written in one go. It requires rewriting and rewriting again until a text is crystal-clear, concise, and efficient. It’s hard work. But the hard work pays off in better explanations and more engaged readers.
The revelation of 5% fat
Skyr is an Icelandic-style yogurt high in protein and with 0% fat. It’s creamy, thick, and flavorful. I love it. I have it for breakfast with fruit, muesli, and almonds.
Unfortunately, our local supermarket had recently ran out of classic Skyr yogurt.
What could I have for breakfast instead?
I tried Skyr with 5% fat.
And you know what?
I liked it even better than my usual Skyr. Yes, the protein content is 10% lower (9g rather than 10g per 100g yogurt). But … yum!
For writing, you might consider the same. Writing that’s only high in protein may be too concise, lacking in personality. Atkins suggests tightening first, then loosening up a bit to allow for a more informal, more engaging tone.
Writing is always a balance
Brief, yet vivid.
Concise, but yeah, also conversational.
Where you find your balance is up to you.
Play with your writing. Tighten a bit more. Then loosen up a bit.
Just like with Skyr, there’s no need for artificial flavors or added sugar.
Keep it real. Be you.
What feels like the right tone to engage your favorite reader?
Recommended reading on better explanations:
How to write simply (without dumbing down)
How to write clearly: A simple 4-step method
The Zoom-In-Zoom-Out technique for better explanations
Chris says
The high-protein analogy is a great one for this writing lesson. And just like we need protein every day, we need writing education and practice every day. Glad I opened this one up. It’s also going to help in my volunteer position as blog editor for a professional association.
Henneke says
Thank you, Chris. I’m glad you find this one useful. Happy writing!
Barry Desautels says
Excellent example and great advise. Thanks Henneke.
Henneke says
Thank you, Barry
Paulo says
Great text, Henneke! I loved how you’ve transformed the the Wikipedia example in a high-protein text, and so on you’ve transformed it (again) in a conversional tone.
Besides that, the final words were amazing. It makes many sense that the 10% fat yogurt/text which is yummy because it has its own personality.
Henneke says
Thank you, Paulo. It was an amazing co-incidence that our supermarket ran out of 0% fat Skyr just when I was working on this post, and it seemed to fit so perfectly!
Mukesh Parekh says
Thank you, Henneke.
I love reading & learning to write from your newsletter. It makes my writing good & effective.
Thank you.
Henneke says
Thank you, Mukesh. That’s a lovely compliment.
Kaitlin says
The insights sprinkled in this blog post are an important part of any copywriter’s well-balanced process. Spot on, and a joy to read.
(I also find myself ravenous for yogurt…)
Henneke says
Oh, I am sorry for making you hungry. But I am glad you enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for stopping by, Kaitlin.
Milli says
So helpful. Thank you.
Henneke says
Thank you, Milli. I’m glad you found it helpful.
Joan Bell says
I love this post. Just lately my writing has ‘gone Keto’. High fat,low carb, with moderate protein.
This article gives me hope. Thank you Henneke.
Henneke says
Oh, so nice to see your name pop up again, Joan. Somehow, it seems that words don’t thrive on the keto diet. Happy writing!
Mansi says
This high protein piece of writing is very high on useful information. Thank You.
Henneke says
Thank you, Mansi. I did my best to do as I preach. 🙂
Nicolas Vincent Rao says
excellent as always Henneke
you may be surprised at my sudden reappearance, but it’s too long a story to repeat.
I am just happy you are still here teaching and as lucid and to the point.
But your brief messages make good reading and as usual are exactly perfect about the subject in hand
Thank you for the pleasure after eons of time wasted.
All the best. I will try to to read more regularly henceforth.
You are bang on 👍❤️
Henneke says
It’s an honor to see you pop up again here, Nicolas. I appreciate it.
Yvonne Mitchell says
As usual, OMG Henneke!
I love today’s post because you hit it right on the head.
What makes you such a great teacher and why I always open your emails are two things:
One, you take an important concept and break it down with (dare I say) clear, concise terms, a style of writing, that I can totally understand.
I feel as though you are speaking directly to me and me alone. Yet, I am a part of the Community. Your community, who follow you religiously. And that makes me feel good. Yay!
Two, the concepts that you teach, and the way you teach them are so inspiring. It makes me want to drop everything immediately to continue working on my projects.
Three, you always give applicable examples. You never leave us hanging, trying to figure it out on our own.
Ok, so that was three things.
I could go on and on singing your praises. What is most thrilling to me is, I can tell by your name that you are from a far different culture than I. Yet, this is a perfect example of how there are things like gifts, talents, skills, music that cross the continental divide – I think it’s called Humanism.
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Yvonne Mitchell
Henneke says
Awww, Yvonne. Thank you. What can I say? You put a big smile on my face. Such lovely feedback. Thank you.
Henneke says
You know what makes me happiest? That you say that after reading my work you want to drop everything and work on your projects. There’s no bigger compliment.
Thank you!
Katie Evans says
Every January I purge my subscriptions. Your newsletter is among the very few that I consistently keep and read. Great content in short form! Thank you for what you add to my writing skills!!💕
Henneke says
Awww. That’s such lovely feedback. Thank you, Katie. I am grateful that you continue reading my work.
Coleen Smith says
Great article. Very informative and engaging.
Thank you
Henneke says
And high-protein, I hope?
Godwin Oluponmile says
Thanks for blessing my inbox with this noon with this protein, Henneke.
My LinkedIn connection must have a bite of the cake!
Henneke says
I’m glad you found it tasty, Godwin. Happy writing!
Henneke says
And thank you for sharing this on LinkedIn! 🙂