Do you ever read sales copy and feel a tad overwhelmed?
Some copy rambles on and on, without engaging readers; and when readers’ eyes glaze over or wander off, copy fails to persuade. It happens all the time.
Bullet points are the perfect antidote to monotone, sleep-inducing paragraphs.
Bullet points:
- grab attention and break up monotone paragraphs
- create white space—like a silence in a conversation
- communicate key information at a glance
Bullet points have a bad name in PowerPoint presentations
When your audience reads bullet points while you speak, the bullet points distract from your talk. So, for PowerPoints slides, pictures are more engaging than bullet points with text.
But in sales content, bullet points can be persuasive.
As research by the Nielsen Norman group suggests:
People look at lists with bullets more often than lists without bullets (70% vs. 55%, respectively).
And Lance Jones at Copyhackers found that improving bullet points on a sales page increased opt-ins with 25%.
So, bullet points can grab attention and seriously boost your persuasiveness, but only when you write them well …
Want to learn the 3-step process for turning wimpy lists into target-hitting bullet points?
When bullet points miss target
Let’s imagine a cooking school selling a course on cooking for dinner parties. Here’s what you might learn in the course:
- How to organize your kitchen
- Professional chopping skills
- Stress-free planning
- Recipes to cook for different dietary requirements
The list above is messy and wishy-washy. It fails to engage and sell. Your first step is to add benefits to each bullet point.
Step 1: Why a customer should care
When you combine both features and benefits in your bullet points you instantly boost your persuasiveness.
Zappos, for instance, explains the benefits of various features:
- Soft leather lining for a plush in-shoe feel
- Lightly cushioned leather footbed for underfoot comfort and support
- Leather and rubber outsole for long-lasting durability
We can do the same for the cooking school:
- How to organize your kitchen so you can cook faster
- Professional chopping skills so you won’t cut your fingers
- Learn how to plan meals in advance so you can enjoy a stress-free party
- How to consider dietary requests so every guest is happy
Remember, people don’t buy your product or service, they buy a better life or a better version of themselves. How does your product make them feel better?
Step 2: Be consistent and concise
Bulleted lists are easier to read when each item follows the same pattern. For instance, we could start each item for the cooking school course with “how to:”
- How to organize your kitchen so you can prepare meals faster
- How to chop vegetables like a pro so you avoid cutting your fingers
- How to plan stress-free dinner parties so you can enjoy yourself as much as your guests
- How to consider dietary requests so every guest is happy
The how-to’s are repetitive and increase clutter, so eliminate them:
- Plan stress-free dinner parties so you can enjoy yourself as much as your guests
- Organize your kitchen so you can prepare meals faster
- Chop vegetables like a pro so you avoid cutting your fingers
- Consider dietary requests so every guest is happy
Note how the bullet points above follow the same pattern; each starts with a verb in the imperative form (plan, organize, chop, consider).
Also, research shows that when you present people with a list of words, they’ll remember the first and last items most. Assuming the same applies to bulleted lists, it’s wise to put your most important points first and last.
Step 3: A dollop of curiosity
As human beings, we all have a desire to learn more. We’re curious.
DragonDoor’s copy, for instance, taps into our curiosity to nudge us to buy:
- Absorb the fundamentals of kettlebell lifting, then explore the deeper secrets of elite strength skill
(Uhm, what could these secrets be?) - Gain hands-on guidance, correct unknown flaws in your own technique—to transform your athletic performance
(Oh my, might I have flaws in my technique?) - Discover the little-known breath technique which dramatically boosts your stamina and endurance
(A little-known technique? I want to know more! )
The curiosity technique on its own isn’t persuasive. First, you need benefits to connect with people’s emotions, then add features for substance, lastly use curiosity as a final nudge.
Here’s to add a dose of curiosity to the cooking school copy:
- Plan stress-free dinner parties so you can enjoy yourself as much as your guests
- Understand how pros organize their home kitchens for faster cooking with less mess
- Chop vegetables like a pro so you avoid cutting your fingers
- Discover three little-known recipes to impress even the most discerning guests
Are you getting more interested in joining this cooking course?
Bonus tip #1: Where to use bullet points
Short sales pages (for relatively simple or low-priced products) often include only one list of bullet points summarizing features and benefits.
But on longer sales pages, use bullet points to (a) summarize key benefits at the start of the page, (b) consider highlighting features and benefits in a list in the middle of the page, and (c) sum up the offer at the end of the page.
Amazon, for instance, uses a short list of bullet points to sum up key features and benefits of a Kindle at the start of a long sales page:
- Our thinnest and lightest Kindle ever—read even more comfortably for hours
- All-new ergonomic design with dedicated buttons to effortlessly turn the page
- Longest Kindle battery life—the included leather charging cover can boost battery to months. Choose from a black, merlot, or walnut removable cover.
- High-resolution 300 ppi display with crisp, laser quality text. Reads like real paper without glare, even in direct sunlight.
AppSumo uses bullet points to sum up their offer at the end of a sales page or email. For instance, the copy for lifetime access to Code-Free Startup IPO Plan sums up the offer like this:
- Lifetime access to all premium courses
- Access to forum and live chat for help building your app
- App templates and premium resources, including web app to mobile app generator
- 60-day money back guarantee. No matter the reason.
Bonus Tip #2: How to format your bullet points
Each style guide provides different guidance on punctuation for bullet points. The Guardian (UK), for instance, recommends full stops (that’s periods in the US) at the end of each bullet point:
- This is the first bullet point.
- This is the second.
- And this is the third.
The APA style guide even advises full punctuation for fragmented sentences and phrases:
- an elephant,
- a kangaroo, and
- a giraffe.
But such punctuation adds clutter to a clean list. Grammar Girl Mignon Fogarty’s advice makes more sense:
If your list items are complete sentences, or if at least one list item is a fragment that is immediately followed by a complete sentence, use normal terminal punctuation: a period, question mark, or exclamation point.
And:
If your list items are single words, very short sentences, or sentence fragments, you can choose whether to use terminal punctuation. The important thing is to be consistent.
Finally, your text will be easier to read if you don’t put commas or semicolons after the items, and don’t put a conjunction such as and before the last item. All of these things are unnecessary clutter. If you find yourself wanting to format it this way, it probably means you should write it as a sentence instead of a list.
The key for formatting powerful bullet points is to declutter and be consistent.
How to write high-converting bullet points
To write sales-boosting bullet points, start with sneaking into your reader’s mind: Why would he care about buying from you? Which benefits are most important to him? What might arouse his curiosity?
Once you understand the needs, desires, and secret wishes of your readers, writing compelling bullet points becomes a breeze.
Keep it short. Be clear. And add a small dose of curiosity.
Amazing! Your tips and tricks never cease to amaze me. I really appreciate your words. Many thanks. Paer
Thank you, Pär. That’s a lovely compliment.
Bullet points are effective writing weapons, but when used wrongly they miss the planned target and hardly serve any purpose. Thanks for the tips. The title was so enticing 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Robi. Thank you for stopping by.
I need a content publishing system that is
*quick
*easy
* concise
And here it is
Thanks!
That brings up questions. How quick is quick? What’s easy for you?
Quick means 5 minutes max to get my points across.
Lists are easy because they fit the way my mind works.
The questioner seizes the power.
The article is very informative. I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you,
Muhammad Ayub
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Hmm, very interesting, Henneke. Who knows when that will come in handy. I just love learning, that is what this life is for me. Thanks again for that information, top class as always.
🙂 A.
Are you planning to write a non-fiction book, too, or are you doing fiction only? On a sales page for a non-fiction book, it’s quite common to have a list of bullet points explaining what you’ll learn and how you’ll benefit from your learning.
Thank you for stopping by again, Annamarie! 🙂
– Your blogs are like wake up calls
– You turn writing into science
– You make me curious: what will I learn next time?
So … thank you 🙂
What a lovely list of bullet points. Thank you, Seb! 🙂
You’re welcome 😉
I still have a question though
For a newsletter I can only use a maximum of 40 characters to create a bullet.
So … straight to the point.
How can you write a short compelling bullet where you do the feauture-benefit-thing without losing that touch of curiosity?
It’s killing me 😉
Greetings from the Netherlands,
Seb
Do you mean the subject line or a bullet point? What’s its purpose?
If you have more bullet points, then you can use one for curiosity, and another one for feature + benefit. If you have only one line, like for a subject line, then you have to choose what’s most important to communicate. What would make people click through? Often a specific benefit is most important.
I meant the bullet points. I cannot use complete sentences like in your cooking class example. I have to keep it short and straight beacuse of the grid (max. 40 characters per bullet).
I often use this recipe now:
-feature (what/where is it?)
-benefit (how does it make you happy?)
-curiosity (a little secret, an unexpected detail, …)
I work in the holiday business 😉
That looks like a sensible recipe!
Wow! On my way to work and I’ll have to finish your great article later, but had to say that just the first point made the light turn on in my brain lol! I was working on my bullet points early this morning and suddenly I can’t wait to get back to my computer later and FIX THEM!!!
THANKS FOR THE HELPFUL POST!
(can’t wait to finish it tonight : )
Yay for lights turning on! 🙂
Have fun revising your bullet points, and thank you for stopping by, Terry. You put a smile on my face today 🙂
“Remember, people don’t buy your product or service, they buy a better life or a better version of themselves. How does your product make them feel better?”
I think this sentence is absolutely true!
Your customers do care about something, which is why they buy your product.
Your customers care about the progress they will make as a result of using your product.
Thanks for this great post,Henneke!
This is the first time I visit your website and I’ll visit your website more often!
Thanks again!
I’m glad you enjoyed this post, Tony. Thank you for stopping by.
I enjoyed digging into the details of clutter-less bullet points and look forward to implementing these tips, so thank you!
Thank you so much, Cat. Here’s to clutter-less bullet points! 🙂
Visually, there is less clutter if you leave out the periods in a bulleted list. My own rule is always: less is better. So why punctuate? The bullets themselves are the punctuation.
Ah.. the joys of talking about tiny things.
But the tiny things matter, right?
LOVE the idea of including benefits along with the features. I think most people/businesses just want to write the features here, but I can definitely see how and why including benefits is game-changing!
Yep, a lot of people forget about the benefits, but they make a big difference 🙂
Thank you for your comment, Bree. Good to see you again!
Fabulous article and I’m going to use your suggestions to beef up the results on my Leadership Confidence course and make them much more powerful for the women I want to attract. Thank you for this.
What a lovely comment. Thank you, Sherry. It makes me happy to read you’re going to implement my suggestions! 🙂
The bonus tip #1 about where exactly to use bullet points on a longer sales page vs a shorter one is excellent — so practical and concrete. And #2 about formatting — I like how you summed it up in one sentence “The key for formatting powerful bullet points is to declutter and be consistent”.
I have also often hummed and hah-ed over whether to have ‘how to’ on every line, so the point about conciseness was a keeper for me.
I can’t remember who it was, but someone once asked me about punctuation for bullet points and I didn’t have a clue. It seems everyone does it differently!
The advice from the APA style guide seems to undermine the effectiveness of bullet points, so I quickly decided their advice didn’t suit me, and I was glad to find Mignon Fogarty’s commonsense approach.
Thank you for stopping by again, Alison. I appreciate it!
I’ve always liked the use of bullet points to de-clutter and simplify technical content. It can mean the difference between grabbing the CXO’s attention or getting a potential client to avoid my brand like a plague. But I never paid close attention to things like the structure and format.
Thanks again Henneke, for the brilliant insight
Hi Nazir – Great to meet a fellow bullet point fan 🙂
I’m glad that you found the tips useful. Thank you for stopping by!
*Oops!
• You outlined a method for creating bullets that will make my words more persuasive
• You demonstrated how to keep them concise, adding more clarity to my arguments
• You revealed a magical curiosity factor that will hold my readers’ attention
• You sent it in the nick of time to improve a presentation I’m working on
This was a great article because:
1. You outlined a method for creating bullets that will make my words more persuasive
2. You demonstrated how to keep them concise, adding more clarity to my arguments
3. You revealed a magical curiosity factor that will hold my readers’ attention
4. You sent it in the nick of time to improve a presentation I’m working on
That’s the perfect summary of this post, Jon 🙂
I love your point #4 on perfect timing. It makes me happy when my tips are immediately used. Thank you.
I love using bullet points. They help me convey messages in a logical way.
I was interested to read about the punctuation for lists. I’ve seen the various kinds you mentioned, and I’ve often wondered what’s right or wrong. I prefer not to use any punctuation in a list.
I also prefer punchy phrases rather sentences, especially those beginning with a verb as you highlighted.
Thanks for the tips, Henneke!
– David
Yes, I’m with you – I prefer punchy phrases and no punctuation, too; that’s when bullet points seem most powerful to me.
I wonder whether I’ve ever written a blog post or sales page without using bullet points … probably not! 😉
Good to see you again, David!
Hi, Henneke!
I have a question:
Would bullet points be good on an About page, listing benefits of the site for the reader or listing the writer’s personal skills? Or would that be too impersonal? I’m thinking the About page ought to be more chatty, like a letter?
Great post! 🙂
Yes, an About page is more chatty, so you won’t use a lot of bullet points, but you can still use them.
Chris Winfield, for instance, uses them well on his About page: http://www.chriswinfield.com/about/; and Irina Bengtson: http://www.lovegrowbehappy.com/about/
On their pages, the bullet points don’t distract or interrupt the conversational tone.
Very helpful links. And inspiring! Do you think I will get my About page right, someday? 😀
No one way exists to get your About page right, so it’s up to you to decide it’s right! 🙂
.I love this copy
. once again Henneke hits the spot
.never use dull bullet points ever again
.sunny spain…how wonderful!
(. is a bullet, just not on my design software)
I love your poems, Carol!
And the sun is shining again in Spain today. I’m soaking up as many sun rays as possible 🙂
This is really a great post. It came at the right time for my project.
Thank you Henneke. Looking forward to another great post from you.
Hi Sophia, I’m happy to read that this post came at exactly the right time for you. Happy writing!
Great advice, thanks, Henneke. Love how you took apart the ‘offer’ how the service you provide will actually address someone’s wish/need and the dollop of interest. Also realized I tend to be more of a sentence writer. Lots to practise.
Thanks!
Yes, that’s a good point… bullet points provide an excellent opportunity to practice writing fragments.
Good to see you again, Mariken! 🙂
Thank you, Henneke for another awesome blog.
It is always a delight to read your writing.
Thank you for your lovely comment, Kim. Happy writing!
Confession: I am guilty of writing wimpy lists! :,(
So this blog post came to my inbox at a fitting moment. 😐
Thanks for your awesome content, as always, Henneke! 🙂
😀
You’re not the only one! I come across a lot of wimpy lists, and it’s a good opportunity to improve 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Jeremy!
Hi Henneke,
Awesome idea. I like how you think each component of a blog post/sales page a s a different entity and work to optimize them. Like I never had given any special attendance to bullet points.
There is so much to optimize them. I like the idea of first few and last few words catching attention of the reader. Seems interesting and I am dying to optimize my blog posts with them same.
I do not have many landing pages/sales pages for optimizing but I am sure these optimization when done as you say will increase the charm/engagement and conversions of even blog posts too.
Thanks Henneke.
-Swadhin
Yes, you’re right – the idea of putting the most important points first & last also works for lists in blog post. And being concise and consistent also works for blog posts.
Thank you for stopping by again, Swadhin. I appreciate your comment!
Thank you for a very valuable share. I can use these tips immediately 🙂
Great!
Every time you write a post it’s like a master class. It’s fascinating to see the original cooking copywriting in your example transform. As I’m in the middle of working on some sales pages, this couldn’t have come at a better time!
PS Hope you are enjoying Spain and have had some sun?
Thank you, Kathy. A little polishing of your bullet points might get you a few more sales!
And yes, we’ve had sun during our first few days. But today, it’s been raining non-stop … a good day for editing a blog post 😉
Thanks a lot for the insight on “declutter” and uniformity at the beginning of each point. Makes a huge difference in the flow of one’s content.
Yep, you’re right; it does make a big difference (and many writers get it wrong!)
Thank you for stopping by again, Bernice 🙂
Bullet points rock, both written and spoken. I think it’s the most effective way to communicate facts, features and things in general. As you say, not in Power Point, but the essence is to tell one thing at a time /slide.
Also, I read again your article on how to turn features in to benefits. One of the best articles you’ve written in my opinion.
Thank you, Virginia. That’s also one of my most shared blog posts ever 🙂
I hope you’ve started writing your book? (Last week you commented, you were about to start writing.)
I can understand why it is the most shared one 😉
I’ve started writing, but it’s going soooo slow. I feel guilty ever since hehe (you’ve written so much about this actually). So many things to write though. Will be launching the guide via Kickstarter, so also writing tiers, timelines and product descriptions besides the book itself. I am returning to your blog quite frequently for inspiration 🙂
Yes, I so know the guilty feeling of slow writing. In my experience, getting upset with being slow doesn’t help … it only slows me further down. What works best for me is to work in concentrated bursts of 25 minutes. I try not to think about results and how fast I’m going, I simply try to focus on doing the work. Stepping away regularly, even for a few minutes, helps a lot, too. It’s the speediest way for me to write.
I’m glad to read you’re returning here for inspiration regularly. That makes me happy. Thank you 🙂
Good luck with your writing!