Do you ever find yourself struggling to understand a text?
After reading a text a few times, you may find yourself scratching your head. Your brain is hurting.
What is the author trying to communicate??!!??
When we’re struggling to understand a text, it’s easy to blame ourselves. Are we not smart enough?
But here’s the more important question …
Why didn’t the writer communicate more clearly? A good writer makes their content easy to understand.
Want to know how?
A delightful example of simple writing
Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a bird?
What do birds see, hear, and smell? Why can owls turn their heads around? How can flamingos balance on one leg? How do birds survive hurricanes?
I recently read the book What It’s Like to Be a Bird by David Allen Sibley. It’s a delightful book that explains in simple language what it’s like to be a bird.
Here’s an example:
Birds’ bodies are well insulated, but they have no insulation on their legs and feet, which are often exposed to extreme cold. Birds’ feet can handle being cold, and they don’t need much blood flow because they have very little muscle tissue (…). The bigger problem is that any blood that does go to the feet comes back into the body cold—but birds’ systems have a solution for that. A process called countercurrent circulation is used to transfer heat and warm up the blood coming back into the body. The major veins and arteries in the legs split into multiple smaller blood vessels at the top of each leg, intertwining to allow more heat to transfer from the warm outgoing blood to the cold incoming blood. This system is so efficient that as much as 85 percent of the outgoing blood’s heat is transferred to the incoming blood.
That’s almost effortless to read, isn’t it?
The writing is simple but not simplistic; it’s delightful. The book taught me a lot about birds and made me curious to learn more. Isn’t that fab?
Why common writing advice is wrong
The common advice on simple writing is to use short sentences and everyday words.
That advice is only half of the truth.
Let me explain …
First, it’s not true that you can’t use long sentences. Readability is about average sentence length. So, it’s okay to mix short and long sentences to create a pleasant rhythm—as long as the average sentence length is low.
For instance, the penultimate sentence in the paragraph by Sibley that I quoted above contains 37 words. That’s long. But that one long sentence doesn’t make the paragraph hard to read. You might not even have noticed that that sentence was so long.
Secondly, what about using everyday words?
Sibley doesn’t shy away from using difficult phrases in his book, such as countercurrent circulation, cryptically colored, and binocular vision. However, when he uses such phrases, he explains them clearly.
If there’s a simpler word you can use, go ahead, do so. But you can’t always eliminate difficult terms, especially when explaining complicated concepts. The key is to introduce complicated words gently (hook a reader first!) and explain them.
Last but not least, common advice to writing simply misses the essential key: Break down a difficult concept and explain it step by step—sentence by sentence—while keeping readers engaged. That’s what Sibley does so expertly.
Shall I show you how?
How to write simply
In the paragraph quoted before, Sibley explains the concept of countercurrent circulation and why it helps keep birds warm.
But he doesn’t start with the term countercurrent circulation as that might put readers off. Instead, he hooks his reader by highlighting the problem that a bird’s legs and feet are not insulated:
Birds’ bodies are well insulated, but they have no insulation on their legs and feet, which are often exposed to extreme cold.
The first sentence of this paragraph hooks readers by highlighting a problem, making readers wonder, How do you solve that? And then they want to know more.
But problems aren’t always straightforward. Sibley explains that cold feet aren’t the real problem:
Birds’ feet can handle being cold, and they don’t need much blood flow because they have very little muscle tissue.
So, what’s the real problem? Sibley explains:
The bigger problem is that any blood that does go to the feet comes back into the body cold—but birds’ systems have a solution for that.
The 3 sentences above explain the problem. Each sentence makes you want to read the next, and now you want to know what the bird’s solution is to the cold blood running back to its body, right?
First, Sibley explains the general principle of countercurrent circulation:
A process called countercurrent circulation is used to transfer heat and warm up the blood coming back into the body.
That sounds interesting but how does that transfer of heat work? Sibley explains the solution in a more detail:
The major veins and arteries in the legs split into multiple smaller blood vessels at the top of each leg, intertwining to allow more heat to transfer from the warm outgoing blood to the cold incoming blood.
That’s the 37-word sentence. Despite its length, the sentence is easy to read because it starts with the core of the sentence: The subject (the major veins and arteries in the legs) and verb (split into).
Lastly, Sibley ends with a clincher sentence, summarizing the impact of countercurrent circulation:
This system is so efficient that as much as 85 percent of the outgoing blood’s heat is transferred to the incoming blood.
When writing a paragraph to explain a concept such as countercurrent circulation, we’re often tempted to start with the difficult term and explain it. But note how Sibley only introduces this term in the 4th sentence of this paragraph.
He hooks us first by explaining the problem so we’re eager to learn the solution. When the more difficult word arrives, we’re already hooked and keep reading on.
Sibley explains the concept of countercurrent circulation tiny step by tiny step. Each sentence explains a little more. Each sentence follows logically on the previous sentence and makes us want to read the next, too.
The writing is engaging and simple but not simplistic.
Simplistic writing is overly simplified
As Merriam-Webster’s suggests, simplistic means “treating a problem or subject with false simplicity by omitting or ignoring complicating factors or details.”
That definition is a little tricky. When is simplicity false? When is it okay to omit a detail and when is that not okay?
As writers, we have to choose what’s essential to communicate.
For instance, Sibley doesn’t explain the details of a bird’s anatomy. He only selects the details that help answer his key question: How do birds keep warm when their feet are cold?
Knowing which questions you want to answer helps to write more clearly.
Bad writers try to impress readers with their knowledge. They share too many unnecessary details. Or worse, they treat readers as if they’re stupid. A condescending tone rattles through their writing.
Good writers like Sibley treat readers with respect. They assume readers are smart and curious (that’s why their tone is never condescending) but they also assume readers know nothing (that’s why they work hard to write so clearly).
Good writers write simply
You may have heard of Sibley’s guides for birds in Northern America. He doesn’t just write, he illustrates those guides, too.
He writes about drawing in black ink:
It’s not too different from pencil drawing, since it involves a single color in lines on white paper, but since the lines can only be black it requires even further simplification.
It strikes me that Sibley applies a similar technique to his writing. He simplifies his writing until he communicates what’s essential only.
Colorful flourishes are unnecessary to share his joy and knowledge.
The clarity of his words makes his writing shine.
Book mentioned in this post:
- What It’s Like to Be a Bird: From Flying to Nesting, Eating to Singing–What Birds Are Doing, and Why by David Allen Sibley
The link above is an Amazon affiliate link. If possible, please support your local bookstore.
Recommended reading on how to write simply:
How to simplify complex ideas
How to avoid the curse of knowledge
How to simplify your writing: A little-known practice
Hi Henneke,
It was a great article! I really love all the tips you shared about writing. I am a blogger, and writing is a daily job. Your tips help me refine my process and my style and incorporate good things in my writing as well. I write a lot of informational posts, and I think this article will help me write without dumbing down. Thanks for sharing examples and information about writing simply, it was a great help.
I’m glad you enjoyed this, John. Happy blogging!
👌
Thank you, Sue.
I write about science and nutrition. I took a course recently, “Writing Science in Plain English.” Henneke, your short piece really drove home the point of engagement through curiosity, understanding through simplicity. Thank you. It has been inspirational for me.
Thank you, Andrew. I’m glad you found this inspirational. Sibley’s writing is a great example for all of us who want to engage and educate our readers.
“Write simple and not simplistic” it’s such a smart approach.
It is as useful as being aware of “curse of knowledge” that you exposed in another post.
Your writing is a perfect example.
Thanks so much, Carlota. That’s a wonderful compliment.
An excellent piece Henneke. At my experience level the editing required to achieve what I believe to be my best is a constant challenge. I would have been forever writing about a birds circulation system. Some very good lessons in your post. Thank you.
It is always a challenge and it’s okay to go for something that’s less than your best. It’s okay to do your best in the time available to you.
I also spend a lot of time editing. I don’t know why but editing this post took me even longer than normally. It may look straightforward but somehow it wasn’t. I don’t know whether you saw David Allen’s comment but he mentioned: “Writing that took a lot of time, whittling down, experimenting, rearranging, etc to get to the result.” Writing simply is just hard work.
The 37 word sentence amazes me Henneke. I find a mix between short and long sentences but keep my mind of conveying a simple message in all I do. Excellent post.
Ryan
That long sentence surprised me a little, too. I didn’t even realize how long it was when I first read that paragraph. I only noticed it when I was doing the analysis for this post. It’s why it’s often tricky to teach writing. While it’s true that short sentences are easier to read, that doesn’t mean you only need to write short sentences. The structure of a long sentence also impacts a lot on how easy it is to read.
‘The key is to introduce complicated words gently (hook a reader first!) and explain them.’ > I admire how you seem to be able to draw lessons from every book you read. And how you manage to stay on topic for so many years 😉 I am failing heavily in that department.
I just love observing how others write and seeing what we can learn from it. I don’t draw lessons from every book I read. Some books are just for reading. Other books I expect to draw a lesson from, and I can’t seem to find the lesson (or the book just bores me too much).
You do better in many other departments!
Hi Henneke,
A reader alerted me to your post. Thanks for the very complimentary and insightful analysis of my writing! Although I confess that I didn’t think about that paragraph as clearly as you have explained it 🙂
Writing that took a lot of time, whittling down, experimenting, rearranging, etc to get to the result.
One thing that does help me write clearly and simply is thinking of a very specific audience. I actually have a couple of real people in mind when I’m writing – friends, neighbors, relatives. They’re smart and curious people but don’t know much about birds, and writing just for them helps me to gauge the tone and the level of explanation without getting too generic in trying to write for everyone. Maybe you’ve written about this before. I thought it might be helpful for other writers.
Keep up the great work!
Hi David,
Thank you so much for stopping by. I was going to email you last week but saw on your website that you were out birding so didn’t want to clog up your inbox. I was curious about your writing process. I expected it to be a lot of whittling down, rearranging and editing. I like that you have a couple of real people in mind whom you’re writing for. That’s often so helpful!
Thanks so much for sharing your joy and wonder. I hope that my post will introduce your work to a few more people.
I really enjoyed this post. The advice and examples were stellar! But what I enjoyed the most about this post (and many others like it) is that you find your examples well outside the marketing world.
This reminds me to read widely, deeply and keep my radar up for great ways to improve my own writing. Thank you!
Thank you, Ted. I’m glad you enjoyed this.
I sometimes get bored reading marketing material. Reading more widely nourishes my soul, and I love sharing the lessons I learn from what I’m reading whether it’s a novel, a memoir, or a science book. I was told off a couple of times for not writing enough about marketing but it’s all writing and we can learn from any type of writing so I’m sticking to mixing it up. I appreciate your positive feedback. 🙂
Knowing which questions you want to answer helps to write more clearly.
That’s my key take away. Thank you for this, Henneke
That’s a great takeaway. Thank you for sharing that, Oluchi. Happy writing!
Love it! Great example.
Thank you!
First off, great job on drawing the robin. In your unforgettable style, and yet so clearly a robin!
I love long and short sentences jumbled together! In fact, one editor of mine was able to identify something I’d written under a pen name, elsewhere, by noticing the style and just being pretty sure. That was fun for us both, although I was surprised.
I also love using the entire language I’ve been given. It is so much more fun to use one word to indicate an entire and razor-precise meaning, instead of bumbling along, or even coining phrases to be cute.
I also love extended metaphor although I have noticed that some people are bothered by it; I try to save that for more informal pieces, I suppose. Since I write a lot of self-help, I have to realize not everyone enjoys being compared to an animal or even to an inanimate thing, especially when it was a “too accurate” comparison.
Yes, interesting point on metaphors. I wonder whether it may work better as a fable rather than as a metaphor in an article that otherwise discusses a specific, personal situation?
I think it’s great that you’ve developed such a distinctive voice that people recognize it even if you’re not named as the author.
And thank you for the compliment on the robin. It was an “old” drawing that seemed perfect for this post. Always good to see you, Katharine!
Oh, I think I would love writing a fable. I shall think about that this morning while we make a one-hour trip to the big city. 🙂
That sounds like a great plan. Drive safely, and happy fable writing! 🙂
Hi Henneke, thank you for another instructional blog post that’s engaging and informative. (You model this beautifully for all of us!) The topic you covered in this post helps me with one of my greatest writing challenges. I’m getting tremendous value from your blogging course. I’m looking forward to your feedback on my writing on August 26th. Wishing you all the best!
Writing simply is one of the biggest writing challenges for most of us.
It makes me happy to read that you’re enjoying the blogging course so much. I look forward to reading your blog post and to the workshop 🙂
Because of you, the Sibley Guides ended up on our Natural History book recommendation list for parents. I had forgotten all about his work.
Thanks for your wonderful coaching. I bought both books, and I am looking at the course for a treat when I get a pause from work.
Say, have you thought about releasing an illustration-focused book with your adorable drawings? Perhaps a line or three of writing wisdom under them? Something one could gift to beginners and retired professors alike. I know it’s a bit repetitive, since the drawings are on the site, but I think it would be lovely.
Thank you for buying both my books. I’ve thought about creating an illustrated book but I’ve been nervous whether I’d be able to sell enough to make it worth it. I appreciate your nudge to reconsider. Thank you.
Thanks for your kind reply! I was thinking, you have so many readers that you could easily sell this illustrated download on your own site, sans Amazon/publishers. Your work doesn’t attract buyers who tend to rip off paid content to share on free download servers — no bodice ripping werewolves, etc — so the DRM isn’t worth the chunk taken by others. Audio would be fun, if you were so inclined.
Cool.
Thanks.
I’d add a bunch more complicated words to explain myself but I don’t have time.
Stay safe
Ha! Your comment made me laugh. Usually, the opposite is true. It takes time to simplify something complicated. (I think there’s a quote about this attributed to various writers.)
Thank you for stopping by again, Phil. I always appreciate your comments.
I just LOVED how clearly you´ve explained how is it done. That is why you´re the best in this business: you take the time to teach a concept instead of just putting words together to rank in Google. Thank you so very much for your all of this.
Thank you so much for your lovely compliment, Mariela. I felt a little under pressure to make my explanation as simple as possible!
Fantastic article, Henneke. Very insightful and helpful. Thank you.
Thank you, Christy. Nice to see your name pop up! I hope you’re keeping well and safe.
All is well here. I have been putting the writing skills I learned from your course to good use. 🙂
That’s great to “hear.” Thank you, Christy 🙂
This is brilliant for me. I completely agree with what you’re saying about clear writing, hooking the reader, and making each sentence an invitation to read the rest. But I struggle to actually do it sometimes. I think the following words are key in helping me to progress: “They assume readers are smart and curious (that’s why their tone is never condescending)”. I think I sometimes forget this when I’m writing, but it should be easier to remember now you’ve explained its importance so well.
The next bit – “but they also assume readers know nothing” – is slightly trickier. My audience have differing knowledge about the topic I write about. I think at least part of the answer lies in including a short, but not patronising, explanation of potentially tricky concepts and perhaps linking to a glossary. Any other ideas would be very welcome.
Thanks again, so helpful.
Someone one told me that as teacher they learned always to teach at the level of the student in the class who struggles most. So, if there are varying levels of understanding in your audience, write for the people who know least.
I’m not a fan of linking to glossaries as it disrupts the reading experience. I prefer the way Sibley explains a concept when it comes up. Even if you know the concept already, it doesn’t matter to read the explanation again because it’s just part of the natural flow of the paragraph.
Thanks, I think that makes sense. Still, Sibley must have decided that ‘experts in bird biology’ are not his intended audience, as it would be a waste of time for them to read about that concept at that level.
I think I need to clarify the range of reader that I’m writing to.
Thank you!
Yes, that’s true. I imagine the reader whom Sibley writes for is an amateur birder or someone who’s vaguely interested in birds and who’s curious to learn more. Having said that, experts might still enjoy reading the book, even if they know a lot already and even if they’re not his target audience.
It’s my worst writing nemesis. The most excruciating part of writing is to explain what you know to others whom you don’t know what they know. To write simply is elusive like an unattainable dream, far beyond writing beautifully, rhythmically, and poetically all together! (With or without an excess of adverbs 🙂
I hear you. This is really the hardest part of writing and it takes a lot of editing to get it right. It’s hard work.
I also think we all read so much bad writing that it’s difficult to remember what good, simple writing is like.
Great post Henneke. I’ll be using this technique to explain difficult concepts. Thank you!
Great! I’m glad you enjoyed it, Hans.
It is a dark and dreary morn but I am enchanted by bird feet. Particularly because my own feet are cold and I wish I had their circulatory magnificence. Thus you have provided many things all at once. Curiosity about birds and writing. Humor that nerds with or without feathers unite. And ultimately that I must get back to you in a timely manner and owe you great thanks for your continued contribution to my life. Best, Carol
It’s been dark and dreary here, too, and my feet are also cold. If only we could be birds and not care about cold feet!
Isn’t it amazing how one short paragraph about bird feet can enchant (and teach) us so much?