What’s your most valuable lesson of 2024?
At the end of each year, I reflect on what I’ve learned.
I’m less interested in achievements, more interested in intangible benefits.
How do I become a better human?
This year, I’ve struggled to pinpoint just one lesson because it feels like it’s been a year of relearning and reinforcing several life lessons.
Do you recognize that feeling of relearning the same lessons?
So, shall I share 3 lessons I’ve relearned this year?
Here goes …
1. The beauty of discomfort
I like the creative part of me.
And I like that writing allows me to connect with that part of me.
It wasn’t always like this for me.
When I started writing seriously in my early 40s, I had a love-hate relationship with writing.
I wrestled to get my ideas down on paper. I hated writing first drafts. I only liked the last bit of editing, the final polishing of my words. But then I’d be afraid to hit publish so editing became fraught, too.
I often wondered why writing seemed so hard. What was wrong with me?
Over time, I learned that stuckness, and fears, and doubts, and discomfort are all part of the writing process.
For a long time, I tried to ignore that sense of discomfort, or fight it. But the discomfort only got worse.
So, I learned to sit with my stuckness, and it’s probably one of the most valuable life skills I’ve ever learned.
When you can sit with the discomfort of writing, you can also sit with pain, grief, fear, confusion, anger, and any other difficult feeling. Acknowledging—even embracing—this discomfort has allowed me to become more present in life, and to listen better to my body, my intuition, and my inner child. I feel more whole, more alive.
I feel that aliveness when I write, too. I think it stems from a willingness to be vulnerable and from that connection to my inner self.
But there’s also a genuine wish to connect from human to human through my words.
I want to show up here with you—just like I want to show up in life.
Wholeheartedly.
2. A gentleness of being
When I started writing, I procrastinated so much.
I could mess around all day, fight my inner critic, and only start writing late afternoon.
I tried to bully myself into being disciplined.
But it didn’t work.
It only guzzled up a lot of energy.
So, I learned to be gentle.
Creative work is inherently scary.
First, because I never know how a piece will turn out; it’ll always be different from what I have in mind.
But even more so because creativity requires showing up and being vulnerable. Dealing with that vulnerability requires gentleness.
Writing a first draft is the most difficult part of writing for me. I used to hate that my ideas still seemed muddled. I hated writing wonky sentences. I hated not being able to find the right words in one go.
But I’ve learned that I need to write that crappy draft first. Once I have a draft—no matter how bad—I can clarify my ideas and write a better version.
In 2023, after my second bout of Covid, I burned out, and that burnout has had a long tail into this year.
Yet again, from time to time, I tried to bully myself into working more.
But of course, yet again, it didn’t work.
Even worse, bullying myself almost caused a full-blown writer’s block.
Yet again, I learned that I cannot barge through writer’s block, I can only tiptoe around it. I can only be gentle with myself.
It’s like I keep learning the same lessons.
Respect my body. Be patient. Be gentle.
It works in writing as well as in life.
3. Lean into joy
I read this from Brian Eno in the Boston Review:
In my own experience as an artist, experimenting with AI has mixed results. I’ve used several “songwriting” AIs and similar “picture-making” AIs. I’m intrigued and bored at the same time: I find it quickly becomes quite tedious.
Of course, that kind of tedium is not new to AI.
It’s been part of content marketing for a long time.
Content marketers have always looked for hacks to create more content faster, to get more results with less effort. They’ve stuffed keywords to fool Google’s algorithm. They’ve created content conveyor belts for more content on auto pilot. It’s a head-based approach.
I’ve always resisted.
I want to find joy in writing.
No matter what the marketing gurus advise us, I do not write purely for my reader.
I want to write about what matters to me, too. A heart-based approach. A genuine wish to show up and connect.
Here’s Brian Eno again:
I have a sort of inner dissatisfaction when I play with [AI], a little like the feeling I get from eating a lot of confectionery when I’m hungry. I suspect this is because the joy of art isn’t only the pleasure of an end result but also the experience of going through the process of having made it.
There’s an inherent joy in writing. Finding the right word. Creating a more vivid description. Sharing ideas and wisdom. Stumbling upon a new insight. Finding a way through the chaos. Polishing a rough draft. Feeling connected to readers.
To find that joy, I need to stop worrying about how well a post might do—What will the reaction be? How many likes or shares? How many comments?
Instead, I focus on the task in front of me. I just have to pay attention.
It works in life—just like it does in writing.
No matter how chaotic the world feels, we can find joy in small beauties and tiny acts of kindness. We just have to pay attention.
An unexpected ray of sunshine. The tweeting of a robin. A card received from a friend. The tiny red cyclamen on my windowsill. The smile of a passerby. A virtual hug. A glass of Rioja.
Paying attention keeps me grounded.
Writing as an act of rebellion
In our world of busyness, productivity hacks, and AI, writing can feel like an act of rebellion.
It’s easy to feel we always have to speed up, be more productive, and get more done.
But good writing—like good living—requires us to slow down and pay attention.
Slowing down and paying attention help us connect with our inner selves.
And with each other.
—
Thank you for being here.
This is my last post of 2024. I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a joyful New Year. See you again in 2025?
More personal reflections:
How I discovered the restorative powers of wintering
Doing vs. being: How to get unstuck
Why I’ll keep writing, even in an age of AI
What a fantastic compilation of lessons (and explanations!). The parallels with a good life are the meaningful takeaways. While our times speak of productivity, joy is really the ultimate goal. Cheers to slowing down and cooking things for a long time at a comfortable low temperature.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Henneke!
Thank you so much, Virginia, and a big YES to slow cooking.
Next week I’ll be making Dutch ham and pea soup – it’ll be simmering for 5 to 6 hours. Lots of stirring!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May 2025 be full of creativity, joy, and love. ♥️
Thanks for such a beautiful insight ❤️ In every line, in every thought you penned ,in every discomfort of you as a writer and the lessons learnt, I could actually see myself. The journey is tedious, sometimes frustrating, but at the end of it all it’s worth living and of course fulfilling. Love and regards 💕
Yes, so much this: “at the end of it all it’s worth living and of course fulfilling.”
Writing can sometimes be a lonely struggle, and it feels comforting to me to know that many of us share the same discomforts and frustrations. We have more in common than we think.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Mousumi. I appreciate it. ❤️
Dear Henneke
I find the review of the Year 24 interesting and insightful. you reflected on the situation all writers go through when they sit to write about but feeling uncomfortable till the moment our thoughts start flowing down the paper.
As business minded writer and corporate professional the use of AI is indispensable to stay ahead of the curve.
However actual writing without the machine usage is always the engine for quality contents generation when AI comes at the last stage to remake your writing speedily edited and supported by a feedback.
Thanks for sharing a factual reflection on the genuine writers be they are beginners or prolific.
Thank you, MOhtajullah. I appreciate your kind comment.
Please note that it’s certainly possible to write without the use of AI (no AI was used to write this review of my year!). Also, for instance, here’s what Wired states in their guidelines on AI:
“We do not publish stories with text generated by AI, except when the fact that it’s AI-generated is the whole point of the story. (In such cases we’ll disclose the use and flag any errors.) (…) We do not publish text edited by AI either. While using AI to, say, shrink an existing 1,200-word story to 900 words might seem less problematic than writing a story from scratch, we think it still has pitfalls. Aside from the risk that the AI tool will introduce factual errors or changes in meaning, editing is also a matter of judgment about what is most relevant, original, or entertaining about the piece. This judgment depends on understanding both the subject and the readership, neither of which AI can do.”
They do suggest some limited uses of AI:
We may try using AI to suggest headlines or text for short social media posts.
We may try using AI to generate story ideas.
We may experiment with using AI as a research or analytical tool.
Full text is here: https://www.wired.com/about/generative-ai-policy/
Hi Henneke,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. You put into words many thoughts I’ve had about writing in the world of AI. I especially like this statement: No matter how chaotic the world feels, we can find joy in small beauties and tiny acts of kindness. We just have to pay attention.
To my detriment, I often forget to focus on joy, forgiveness and gratitude. Thanks for this reminder. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas. May 2025 be filled with reasons to celebrate.
Wishing you all the very best for Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Hi Tarina,
It often feels like our world is designed to distract us so we forget to pay attention and find joy. I wrote this to remind myself, too.
Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and a 2025 full of joy and creativity.
Merry Christmas Henneke, and All the Best in the New Year.
I’m enlightened by your words, and appreciate your thoughts about the writing process.
We’re all human and its interesting to hear you talk about the writing process and how you/we all go through similar emotions to get to the final copy.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness about something I thoroughly love and enjoy despite the frustration incurred.
Yes, we’re all human and the writing frustrations are part of being human.
I even wonder sometimes if we didn’t get frustrated at all about writing, would it still be worthwhile?
Merry Christmas to you, Barry, and best wishes for a joyful and creative new year.
I think most of us have a year very similar to yours, Henneke.
I know I have. As I waded through all of this years pitfalls, it has strengthened my patience reserves. Something I desperately needed.
One hell of a way to learn anything, if you ask me, but at least I am ready (I hope) for whatever 2025 has in store for us…
Best wishes
I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough year and admire your ability to find patience and strength.
Sending you my best wishes for a better 2025. May you find many glimmers of hope and sparks of joy.
Dear Henneke, thank you for your lovely words at this time of year. Your reflections are beautiful and make a great deal of sense during these strange times of writing with AI, global affairs, and the holidays.
In all things, compassion and a gentle spirit will prevail. Thank you, again.
Happy Holidays,
Suzanne Elizabeth Bott
Oracle. Arizona
Dear Suzanne, thank you for your kind words.
It is indeed a strange time. There is a heaviness in the air.
Happy Holidays to you, too. And may 2025 be full of joy and creativity.
Dear Henneke,
This post is probably one of your best posts, and it really resonated with me. In a year where I have felt disappointed, challenged, burnt out and insecure as a writer, your words were like a salve for a tired soul! Have a restful, joyful holiday season (you deserve it). Wishing you a creatively filled 2025 🙂
I hear you, Raju. Life as a writer is challenging, even more so now AI is around.
Here’s to a creative and joyful 2025. I hope you’ll have a restful, invigorating break.
Keep writing!
Thank you for your sharing. To your point about joy, I share this with writers I coach:
Ultimate fulfillment is not found in completing a project or the recognition you receive from what you produce. The greater happiness derives from the creative process: the deliberate effort and surrender of dancing with God.
Yes, the creative process is a dance, and we all dance in our own way. A dance with our fears. Or a dance with ideas. Or a dance with a higher power. Whatever or whoever we dance with, let’s keep dancing.
Henneke,
Being stuck, getting unstuck, sharing what happened with readers, feeling good about sharing imperfectly. Life lessons
for me this year. I appreciate your post opening space to feel safe sharing my thoughts.
I also am learning about being kind and being with whatever is unfolding until the rhythm reveals the path. Many times I still get caught up in life’s pressures to get moving and get results. When I can remember how the past has unfolded really – rarely fast enough to meet society’s hype that isn’t reality – life is much better.
Best wishes to you for the holidays and the new year coming. I look forward to seeing your emails in my inbox and continuing to learn from you.
Thank you so much for your well wishes and kind comment, Day.
Your thoughts about the rhythm of life remind me of this quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn: “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.” It’s so true.
Best wishes to you for the holidays and a joyful new year!
Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to know that even good writers sometimes struggle, not that I would wish it upon anybody.
I continue to struggle and write through it. The joy for me is seeing words on the page, even if they aren’t well arranged yet. And keep it up. We all need encouragement from the authors we read.
I love your point that just seeing words on the page gives joy. That’s beautiful.
Wishing you a peaceful 2025 full of writing joy!
Dear Henneke,
What wonderful reflections from 2024. I particularly liked your comment of:
“No matter how chaotic the world feels, we can find joy in small beauties and tiny acts of kindness. We just have to pay attention.”
I catch myself many times not in the present moment, or in your words, ‘not paying attention’, and I try to bring myself back with saying,
“Right Here, Right Now”. The present is so precious. And I know it is a cliche, but time passes so quickly.
Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for 2025,
Diana
Dear Diana,
You’re so right: The present is precious. I wrote about paying attention also as a reminder to myself. It feels like a lifelong quest to be more present.
Happy Holidays and warm wishes for a joyful new year,
Henneke
Thank you, Henneke. I loved your vulnerability and honesty, your encouragement and your advice. I resonated closely with your process. Best wishes for good health and peace.
Thank you so much, Anita. I am glad this resonated. Best wishes to you for a healthy, peaceful, and joyful 2025!
Dearest Henneke,
You always hit the nail on the head. I so appreciate all your posts and illustrations, but this one is what I needed TODAY. I was sitting here procrastinating about beginning 2 art projects that seem over my head and scare me. Now I am going to be kind to myself and paint stroke by stroke and enjoy the process. Silly me … that’s always worked before. Why do I forget? Thank you for the beautifully written reminder.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a very joy-filled and healthy new year. You are a gift to me and I am deeply grateful.
I’m glad it’s not only me, who’s having to relearn these lessons again and again.
I like your idea: Paint stroke by stroke, and enjoy the process.
Sending you hugs, Nomi, and best wishes for a restful holiday season and a joyful, healthy, and creative new year!
Henneke,
Thank you for sharing your gift, your creativity, and your insights. Your writings touch my soul and bring me peace.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year!
Ohh, Bruce, that’s lovely. Thank you. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a joyful New Year!
2024 has been a real struggle for me on so many fronts. The great thing about the end of the year is the time to reflect. Your writing always touches me, Henneke. I thank you for sharing, for leaning in to your vulnerability, and staying true to yourself, which is pretty darn special. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a blessed 2025.
Hugs to you, Cathy. It sounds like it’s been a tough one all around. Sending you my best wishes for a restorative break, Merry Christmas and a joyful 2025.
Lovely article Henneke.
Great lessons…I especially like the joy lesson. I call those sparkle moments and you can always find them if you look for them. Soon they’re all around you.
Greetings of the season…and let’s begin 2025 with a joyful spirit.
CW
Ohhh, I like that: sparkle moments. They can be glimmers, too.
And yes, let’s begin the new year with a joyful spirit. Here’s to a 2025 full of joy and creativity.
Thank you for stopping by, Carolyn.
Thank you, Henneke, for these wise, inspiring thoughts.
Thank you, Ralph. Happy writing!
Thank you for your wonderful posts and inspiration. I’ve benefitted from your work for years and look forward to growing my writing practices with you in 2025. Best wishes from the northern California.
Thank you, Ruben. That’s lovely to know. Best wishes to you for the new year, too.
Loved this, thank you so much, Henneke. This has been enlightening! I will definitely enjoy the process more now that I know it’s normal! Enjoy your holidays! 😁☺️😂
Ohh, that’s lovely. Happy writing! And I hope you’ll enjoy your holidays, too.
Hello Miss Henneke. Thank you so much for sharing your insightful blog post. I am an amateur writer. I write poetry, haven’t mastered the skills of writing stories and novels yet. I too don’t like to use AI in my writing even though I cannot write every poem excellently. Writing with AI takes away the joy of creating.
Warm wishes 🌸
Writing is never about perfection. The beauty lies in the frayed edges, the imperfection. As Leonard Cohen sang: “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”
Happy writing, Nazifa!
It is a heart touching piece.
I feel that I can feel how you feel.
Writing is a journey, a lonely one.
Your writing is the medicine to loneliness, of others.
Wish you a warm winter and look forward to connecting in a gentle yet strong self love new year 2025
If I can help people just a little bit with their writing, then I’m happy.
It’s so lovely to know that you can feel what I feel.
Sending you my best wishes for a joyful, creative, and, yes, gentle 2025.
Thank you, Henneke. As always, your words inspire and comfort. All the very best to you for Christmas and the holiday season.
Thank you, Rachel. What a lovely thing to say: inspire and comfort. Merry Christmas to you, too!
‘But good writing—like good living—requires us to slow down and pay attention.’ I just love this blog Henneke, it’s full of truth and heart and is a perfect way to end the year.
I wish you a very merry Christmas and a lovely, restorative break. I’ll very much look forward to reading more of your lessons on writing and life in 2025.
Thank you so much, Sarah. Such a lovely comment. Yes, I put a lot of heart into writing this and it still makes me nervous. Glad to have clicked publish!
Wishing you a lovely Christmas, too. See you in the new year. 🖤