When I started blogging in my early 40s, I was a procrastination champion.
I often hated having to write, and I allowed myself to get distracted by everything—the neighbors’ barking dogs, Twitter, email, random thoughts.
Staying focused on writing felt impossible.
I was also awfully slow.
I kept revising my content endlessly, and worried whether I could ever make it good enough. I thought this struggle was normal. Aren’t even the best writers tortured geniuses?
I didn’t realize how much I was sabotaging my writing.
Shall I tell you how I learned to make writing easier and more joyful?
Writing doesn’t need to be a torture
Over the years, I learned several tricks to overcome procrastination.
I chopped up the writing process, and my writing tasks became more doable. I discovered the value of shitty first drafts, so I got less stressed about writing a draft. I learned to trust my process and nurtured the right habits to overcome writer’s block.
But the biggest impact on my writing journey?
A more mindful mind.
For years, I discounted the idea of meditation as woo-woo. Practicing mindfulness to overcome my writing fears seemed weird. I even denied I was anxious. I thought writing was just a struggle.
But I had to change my views.
Since a car crash several years ago, I’ve been struggling with chronic pain, and my Yoga therapist gently encouraged me to try meditation.
Meditation has helped me reduce chronic pain and anxiety. Plus, it has had a surprisingly positive effect on my writing practice.
Mindfulness reduces suffering
Pain triggers many emotions, such as:
- Fear: What if this pain indicates another setback?
- Worry: What if the pain never goes away?
- Stress: What if I’m too tired to get my work done?
- Frustration: I can’t cope with it anymore!
Mindfulness has helped me become more aware how pain triggers emotions. And when you become more aware, you can stop the trigger. You can detach the emotions from pain and let go.
So, pain becomes just pain. Without the suffering.
When writing feels hard, we can trigger similar emotions:
- Fear: What if our writing isn’t good enough?
- Stress: What if we’re wasting time working on this piece of content?
- Worry: What if we get critical comments? What if we look stupid?
- Frustration: Why can’t I write faster?!?
Writing is hard. There’s no doubt about that. Communicating ideas with clarity requires deep thinking and hard work.
Mindfulness can’t magically untangle messy thinking to formulate our ideas. We still need to think. But mindfulness can help us let go of disruptive thoughts and negative self-talk. It can help us stay more focused.
Think about this: What happens when you hit a difficult point in your writing? Which negative thoughts swirl around in your mind and stop you from thinking clearly?
The power of space
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
~ Viktor E. Frankl (From: Man’s Search for Meaning)
Mindfulness helps us become more aware of our reactions to events. We learn to observe our thoughts, emotions, and actions. We learn to pause and create a little space to evaluate what’s going on. We can choose how to react.
So, when you get stuck with writing, observe yourself:
- What action do you take to escape from the challenge? Do you flee to Twitter or Facebook? Start answering emails?
- How does your stuckness make you feel? Do you get irritated? Frustrated? Stressed?
- How does your body react? Can you feel your jaw muscles get tense? Or your shoulders?
Instead of being swept up in a maelstrom of thoughts, I learned to take a step back, observe, and change my reactions.
Previously, when I got stuck, I would mindlessly fool around on Twitter or answer non-urgent emails, wasting precious time and energy.
Now, I consider why I’m stuck and how to get unstuck. I may let a difficult part of a blog post simmer for a while, and do some editing instead. Or I sketch out my thoughts on paper if my idea still feels messy.
Stop running away
Our natural instinct is to run away from fears and difficult tasks.
I used to run away a lot. I made myself busy so I didn’t have to think. But I only let my fears grow, and I made difficult tasks seem even harder.
When you practice meditation, you learn to stop running away. Instead, you get closer to your fears. You may even befriend your fears.
In September 2015, I wrote a post about inviting my inner critic for tea. It was the first time I drew a picture of my inner critic:
At that time, I wasn’t quite friends with my inner critic yet, but I was learning to observe her behavior and find ways to deal with her critical comments. I was getting closer.
After writing that post and drawing that picture, writing became easier. I learned that my inner critic was only telling me that what I was doing mattered to me. She’s only trying to keep me safe.
The better I got to know my inner critic, the gentler I became with her (and with myself). Somehow, she’s shrunk in size, and I’m almost able to hug her now.
I’ve not become fearless
Fears are a sign that I’m getting out of my comfort zone. I’m trying something new. I’m writing something that matters to me (like this post).
But my fears don’t sabotage me anymore. I acknowledge my fears and keep writing.
In the throes of darkness, fear makes us feel as if magic doesn’t exist—but what if it’s actually telling us exactly where to find it?
~ Meera Lee Patel (From: My Friend Fear. Finding Magic in the Unknown)
Explore the ripples
Earlier this year, I tried to get back into swimming.
I love swimming and I have dreamed about getting back in the pool since that car crash years ago.
But the swimming was a disaster.
And that failure hit me like a sledgehammer.
For over three years, I kept a brave face. Living with chronic pain and exhaustion felt tough, but I was coping. I was still enjoying my life. I kept hope, and I focused on the positives. I enjoy my daily walks. I’m thankful I can still cycle. I’m grateful I run my own business. I love my work.
But after the swimming experiment, I started having panic attacks. My body was ripping itself apart at its core. I didn’t know how to cope anymore. I feared pushing a self-destruct button.
Meditation rescued me.
I learned to think about my emotions as water ripples, created by a small pebble. When my body tailspins out of control and I panic, I can’t contemplate the inner ripples—pain and fear. However, emotions at the outlying ripples are easier to contemplate, so I can still stay present. I can examine my stress, I can feel my resistance, and I can slowly let them fade away. It’s kind of weird: First you have to get closer before you can let go.
Maybe I needed a breakdown to face my fears, and to ponder what to do with my life.
I’ve decided to take a step back and to change my annual course schedule. I want to teach shorter, more focused courses, and I want to create more self-study courses. I’m not sure how to do this yet, so I’ll use the second half of 2018 to get organized. I won’t teach any further courses this year.
I love what I’m doing. Teaching, writing, and drawing are a big part my life. It’s who I am.
So, I’ll continue doing what I love most, but I’ll find a way around my limitations, and listen more to my body, my soul, my heart.
Stop judging yourself harshly
The old Henneke would have said, you’re a wimp. Why can’t you work more? People love your courses, why change?!? You’re crazy.
But becoming more mindful helped me to see how harshly I’ve always judged myself:
- Finding it hard to write? You must be a bad writer.
- Procrastinating? You must be lazy.
- Worried whether you’re good enough? You’re such a wimp.
Judging ourselves harshly is unhelpful. We make our suffering worse. So, be present with whatever life throws at you. Non-judgmentally.
As my health is improving and my mind is calming down, I can honestly say: Despite pain and exhaustion, I feel happier than when I was running like crazy on the corporate treadmill.
I enjoy my writing more. I savor the small pleasures of life. I am more at ease with who I am.
I’m learning to be kinder, towards others and myself.
PS
If you’re a mindfulness beginner or skeptic like me, I recommend the book “10% Happier”
Recommended reading on making writing easier:
3 writing strategies: How to put your thoughts into words
How to streamline your writing process
How to find inner peace in 3 steps
Well I really enjoyed this. I’ve been doing Hare Krishna meditation for 54 years now. Even outside of my daily chanting routine, if I get stuck, I just stop for a minute and chant the mantra a few times. The demons in my mind jump up and run away.
Glad to see you have found meditation.
Demons jumping up and running away? That sounds great. I guess the secret is more in the practice than in the actual words of the mantra you’re using?
Well, you know the power of words.
Yes, that’s true. But I also know the power of practice!
Wow Henneke,
Very inspirational.
Thank you, for this blog its very encouraging.
Am usually facing that block as well, because of inner fears.Now am ready to embrace it,meditate and write some more.
Thanks.
Thank you, Lubosi. I’m glad this article is encouraging you to face your inner fears and to write more. Happy writing!
Thanks Henneke for sharing these personal thoughts that all of us grapple with. Your experience, and the way you “overcome” is helpful to know and understand.
I love your drawings. I’m into art too.
I totally relate with being kinder and gentler with ourselves because we tend to put ourselves under so much unnecessary pressure.
We do have so much power in the way we respond.
“By choosing your thoughts and by selecting which emotional currents you release and which you will reinforce, you determine the quality of your light. You determine the effects you will have on others and the nature of the experiences of your life.” The Seat of the Soul
That is a relative quote I have in my journal. I read it daily.
Thanks for sharing!
Andrea
What a beautiful quote! Thank you so much for sharing, Andrea. I agree with you. We have so much more power than we think, and it’s kind of counterintuitive to be kinder so we can tap into our powers.
Hi Henneke
I had a real crap day yesterday with my critic. I a so thankful that in my morning process I found your article and was able to laugh at you and Me.
We’re funny, hey?
love alwaz
mike
I always feel better when I can laugh about myself and my inner critic!
Thank you for stopping by, Mike. I appreciate it.
Those are all great tips Henneke! By the way, have you ever tried CBD oil for pain? It also helps with anxiety, so that might calm your fears as well. Just a thought! 🙂
I still judge myself, especially when I keep getting rejection letters one after another, but I keep trying.
What I do to get unstuck is to look for writing prompts, or places that accept writing jobs for pay. Then I have something to focus on.
My issue is not feeling supported by my family, like what I’m doing is a waste of time. Yet I keep going, making sure I attend to all of their needs and just making time for my writing when I can. How did you overcome those struggles? Did you have them?
I checked out Gill’s stop movie and while it was cute, I have no such talent.
Thanks, Henneke for all the tips you provide, as well as the resources and your cute, inspiring comics!
Hi Kim,
I’ve found it very useful to build a network of supportive peers. Initially, I was part of a forum where I could ask questions and find encouragement. Now, I have one-on-one’s with friends who are on a similar journey, and last year, I’ve become part of a mastermind group, too, where we help each other. I have never relied on my family for support. Not even my husband reads my posts!
By the way, I highly recommend the book “Talent is overrated” by Geoff Colvin or “Mindset: Changing The Way You think To Fulfil Your Potential” by Carol Dweck. They helped me change my views on talent. I never thought I could draw nor write! I’m not suggesting we all should make cute videos like Gill. But we are all a lot more capable than we think, and it helps to find friends who support your journey!
Thank you also for your suggestion on CBD oil. I’ve found that using pain killers doesn’t really work for me. The pain is my “teacher”—it tells me when I need to slow down or rest. When I stopped taking pain killers a few years ago, my health started to improve.
Well, here is another one I missed. Happy it hasn’t been too long ago.
What about guilt? Is it a part of fear? Worry?
Or is guilt just another monster that can be divided into fear, worry, stress, and frustration?
I know one thing: Guilt over other un-done chores, makes it so easy to skip the writing chore, and if I want, I can let guilt over considering writing a “chore” blast me some more about where my priorities are, and this can go on for days.
One thing I know: People used to love my writing. I don’t really usually think my writing is not good enough. It’s just disappeared. I literally cannot find my words. 😀 But I will. I promise!
In the meantime, I’ve fallen in love with revamping all my old writing. That has been really rewarding and I totally expect it to inspire something new, eventually. <3
Yes, guilt is an interesting one. I’m not sure what the expert say about guilt, but I find that guilt is usually part of insecurity and trying to juggle too many tasks instead of setting my priorities. What is important to me? So, what do I want to do with my limited time? I can never do everything I want. Sometimes we just have to cut ourselves some slack—we don’t need to be perfect in all aspects of our lives.
And if you’re revamping your old writing, maybe that’s enough for now. Something new will come up when you’re ready. (You almost make me feel guilty for never revamping my old blog posts!)
Hi Henneke, reading this post I’ve realized how much I missed your writing in the past few months. Thank you for sharing your experience. Mindfulness and meditation are great tools that helped many people, although, for some of us meditation can have side effects. Just as breathing doesn’t help you, meditation has been a no-go for me. But by now I figured out that you can be mindful and meditate in many different ways. Whatever we do, it’s important to have tools to cope with distress.
Yes, you’re right. There are many different ways to meditate and to be mindful, and what works for one person might not work for another. This is what I’ve found, too. It’s the same as with writing strategies—some people like freewriting and others like outlining.
I’ve even found that a meditation technique may work well for a while, and then it becomes counterproductive (increasing stress or pain). I also struggle with routines, so that makes it also important to keep changing.
Thank you for stopping by, Irina. I appreciate your comment.
My inner critic beats me over the head so bad, that I cannot even get one sentence down, and I’m off to twitter. That silence my inner critic. I don’t know why she/he/it doesn’t follow me to the twitter zone. Perhaps I just can’t write at all, no talent, no inspiration, nothing to write about, what can I write about? everything that need to be written has been written already. See what I mean?
Have you tried writing as fast as possible to outpace your inner critic? This sometimes works for me.
It can also help to decide the day before you want to write what you’ll write the next day. Perhaps write a quick outline so that when you start writing you at least have an idea, and then give yourself permission to write a bad first draft. Good writers are good editors, and it doesn’t matter how crappy the first draft is. Once you have your initial text, you can work to improve it. Don’t give up!
Henneke, this post is perfect. It applies to so many things we’re struggling to focus on throughout the day. Also, it’s amazing to read through the kind comments you get (there are a lot, and I’m starting my working day so I can’t read them all I’m afraid!).
I’ve practiced mindfulness on and off for a few years, really just whenever I feel like I need it. Even with simple things like when you’re washing up, making sure you’re only washing up (focusing on the feeling of the water etc.).
For those who might want an “app for that”, I really recommend Headspace. I found it really useful, especially in the beginning.
I’m going to come back to this post in future I think… There’s a reason your website is on my bookmarks list!
Thank you for your compliment, Scott. I’m thankful for the many kind and insightful comments on this post.
I agree with you on everyday mindfulness. I’m not sure I’m a mindful dishwasher, but I’ve certainly become more mindful, for instance when drinking tea, eating, or out on my daily walk. This helps me stay more grounded.
I’ve not tried the Headspace app but have heard other people recommend it, too, so perhaps I should try it next time I get bored with my meditation practice.
Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it.
Aw…I love mini Henrietta. I used to think that mindfulness stuff was a bunch of woo woo, too. Once.
Now, after cancer treatments and trying to be kinder to myself, I’ve begun a 2x/week chair yoga class, that is more yoga than chair! We do a lot of deep breathing and gentle moves, but I find my body and my attitude changing.
Keep up the fantastical writing and etching! We love it, H. 😀
I’m starting to love mini-me, too 🙂 It works better to love her than to fight her.
Isn’t it amazing how much our perception of pain can change and how life then becomes easier?
Thank you for stopping by, Penelope. I appreciate it.
Hello Henneke,
Thanks for your “enchanting” mail — you’re providing one of the difficult tasks of motivating a disenchanted soul like me by showing the way out of how to overcome the fear factor in spite of pledging writing as the most passionate thing in the world to tell about. I am getting benefited by your blogs day-by-day.
With best wishes,
Manaj.
Thank you so much for your compliment, Manaj. Please don’t give up. Keep writing!
Hi Henneke,
It is the encouragement of sorts that I receive from time to time that charges my battery with renewed hope and that gives me the ammo to get going in spite of all odds at this crucial stage of my life.
In fact, we are exchanging emails for quite some time now — please don’t get me wrong, but I just take the privilege to tell you now that how could an idea (in my case dire need) that be, if I could work under someone else’s “team” to help and be helped against a few bucks? For me, time is running out and I am worried. Can you help me with this matter? I speak my mind to you and thus can’t help but to say to you.
Awaiting reply,
With warm wishes,
-Manaj.
The quickest way to find a writing job is usually through an existing network. As far as I’ve heard, many people find their first clients via family or friends or former colleagues. Or sometimes a local networking group or LinkedIn. Job boards can work but can also be tricky as there’s more competition. Some people use cold emailing. Here’s a guide on that from Copyhackers: https://copyhackers.com/2017/09/cold-emails/ (probably more suitable if you have some experience already)
It’s something which made me feel a much better pen handler ……. 🙂
And a feeling of I can do it!
Thanx Henneke!!
Great. Happy writing, Sherry!
Hi Henneke,
Thanks for sharing your story. Although I have doubts and procrastinate about my writing, I’m suffering more from chronic pain. Perhaps it’s time to embrace mindfulness. I’ve read about it in the past but struggled to practice it. Perhaps a fresh start will help.
– David
PS – Love the illustration
Hi David
I’m sorry to hear about your chronic pain.
You may want to check out the book “Full Catastrophe Living” by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He’s the pioneer in using mindfulness to treat chronic pain. His program is called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, and he describes the program in his book.
I hope you find it useful! Feel free to email me if you have more questions about my experience.
Henneke – This is excellent. I have enjoyed your writing tremendously for a couple years. This time your message allowed me to just relax back into my stillness. Thank you.
You shared that you know you are writing something good when your inner critic starts feeling it’s fear and I landed.
Now in retrospect, I always had the feeling that I would love to get to know you. The connection you provided here really fulfilled my desire. We can hang out now.
I have been following your recent instructions to make my students and their stories the hero instead of trying to present myself as the guru on my mindfulness site. This felt so right and I relaxed again. Thanks again Henneke
Thank you for leaving a comment, Jody. It feels good to me that you feel a connection through my writing. I’m happy to hang out together 🙂
And it’s great to read that you’ve made your students the heroes on your site, and that that feels right.
A life time of reading, study, thought & conversation, plus the scar tissue ( In polite company we call it experience.), a person accumulates in that life time and never have I heard anyone speak of pain and suffering as clearly as you did in seven words. “ …pain becomes just pain. Without the suffering.” Henneke, yours is the insight of insights on the subject! Take a bow.
P.S. I noticed in your sketches, the first image of your critic she was smaller than you. In the other two, she was never more than just your size. My guess. She may sound bossy but she never can win. 🙂
I’ve learned a lot about pain and suffering from my Yoga teacher and also reading on the topic. It’s been a very valuable learning experience.
Your point on my inner critic is spot on. The first image is actually from an old post. In that old post, she starts out much bigger than me and shrinks in size—similar to her shrinking in the drawings at the end of this post.
And yes, she won’t win. We’re actually becoming quite a good team 🙂
I am learning a lot from your post, Henneke. This topic is a reality check for me as I am just starting to write for my blog. My experience as a preschool teacher has had helped to kickstart my inner desire to write. Thanks for all the comments and tutorial reports that I`ve written for my students. They have been the stepping stone to further my skill. Thanks to you too, Henneke and Michael Podznev as well. Mike has given me a link to your site in one of his emails.
Yes, any writing experience and regular writing habit is a useful stepping stone when embarking on a new blogging journey.
Thank you for stopping by, Amelia, and good luck with starting your blog. Let me know if you have any specific questions?
“So, pain becomes just pain. Without the suffering.”
Amazing words.
I haven’t read your whole article yet, but can’t control myself to comment on these words.
It’s not easy to let go of all the emotions and suffering, but it’s worth striving for, and every step in the direction helps.
Thank you for your comment, Soniya.
Hi Henneke As always, you inspire me. For some reason, I’ve resisted yoga and meditation. The busyness of life intrudes and prevents me from following up on it.. However, you’ve motivated me to try it out. Thank you Henneke for a brilliant piece.
I’ve been a resister for years, too. I always preferred something more active (like swimming, or cycling, or squash when I was younger), but I’m glad yoga and meditation have appeared on my path because it does feel like they make my life richer.
Thank you for your lovely comment, Poovanesh.
Henneke!
Best post from you yet. Your vulnerability, blended with your specific guidance and creativity… brilliant!
I am blessed to have enjoyed your Business Blogging course. You have gifted me one of the most meaningful presents (and you’re reminding me of that in this post)…a reminder to be real, to be present and to be me. And that my writing is one way to reflect my gifts to my community.
Thank you!
I am glad to hear you are making time to care for yourself.
Enjoy investing well due energy in discovering who you are becoming in the next phase of your professional and personal lives.
With deep respect,
Kristen
And I’ve been lucky to have you on the course. It’s been such a pleasure to work with you.
It’s been a really hard decision for me to stop with the long courses because I love seeing the difference the course makes to people. But I’m sure a more modular approach works, too. It’ll just be different.
Thank you for your lovely comment, Kristen. I appreciate you. And I like your idea of “discovering who I am becoming” – it’s both scary and exciting!
Love your writing and illustrations. I believe my biggest challenge in copywriting is recycling what I’ve done before.
Bringing out the same old stuff. Nothing new, exciting or original.
I don’t like recycling either, so I don’t do it. I try to go deeper (discuss a super-specific topic) or wider (topics along the edges of writing, like creativity or mindfulness 😉 ) or I try to do something different like trying out a metaphor, a storytelling approach, or a more visual approach. The writing has to be interesting for me, otherwise I get bored, and when I get bored, my writing feels flat.
Huge fan of mindful writing Henneke, and mindfulness overall. What a special gift for easing into fears, feeling these energies and releasing the fears, to write and live more from an energy of love and fun and joy. Big meditation and deep yin yoga fan here; 2 practices for expanding my awareness.
“The energy of love and fun and joy”
You’ve put that beautifully, Ryan!
Words fail to describe how beautiful this post of yours is, Henneke — which is kind of ironic, given the subject matter 😉
Thank you. You’re an amazing person. ?
This one was probably written more from my heart than anything I’ve written before. It was tough to hit “publish.”
Thank you for your comment and your kindness, Bart.
Great post—and timely for me. I’ve been dragging my heels too long into writing my online course. And I’ve not meditated in months… Thanks!
I find big writing projects, like courses or books, are extra tough. I’ve heard some people like to dedicate a good junk of time and blitz through it. I’m the opposite. What works best for me is work on it a little bit regularly.
Thank you for stopping by, Joe. I appreciate it. It helps to know we’re all facing similar challenges.
Loved the illustration…
Our inner critic is too harsh. I believe only after a reasonable amount is passed.
I can only see the growth when I compare after at least six months. Be it dancing, writing or my swimming.
Thank you for the reminder…
Yes, that’s the same for me. I can’t switch on belief. I need to keep reminding myself and do the work, and then the belief will come.
Thank you for stopping by, Rohan!
Hi Henneke,
Thank you for the precious post.
I ‘ve followed your blog since I started to work in a B2B company last year. I feel grateful for everything you share about writing. It really helps my work.
Actually I’m not a native speaker. And I still have struggled a lot with writing English up until now. And after graduation, I became a copywriter, I find it even tougher to seduce people.
Everything you said in this post about meditation, swimming, frustration of writing, I can feel empathy with you and your experience too. I don’t know why but maybe it is because meditation helps me to feel that way.
Well, I’ve practiced meditation for a year. At first, I just thought it could relieve stress and help me healthier. These are common benefits of mediation everyone can think of. But till now, I’ve gained others things from meditation more than I could imagine.
Perhaps I’ve not applied mediation to my writing process. Or maybe sometimes in a unconscious way, I don’t know. Then when I read this post, suddenly something clicks my mind. And I nearly burst into tears. I think that’s this, that what I really need to help myself overcome any hard part of the writing process.
There ‘re a lot of things I can’t say to anyone. May be it’s because I’ve not found someone who can empathize with me. And I think I’m lucky when I opened my inbox and clicked to see this.
Thank you a lot for every emotion and sharing that you put in this post!
Best wishes to you, a mindful writer :))
Isana.
Writing is hard, and it’s normal to struggle with it. Even if we’d be able to take away all our fears and self-doubt, then writing would still be tough as it’s not an easy task to formulate our thoughts and share our ideas—it requires deep thinking and hard work. It’s demanding and requires full focus.
We have to give ourselves some space to practice and learn. Not just the skills to write, but also the skills to understand the writing process and to learn to trust it. This was especially important to me when I started writing. I needed to get a better understanding of the writing process, and what worked for me.
I’ve also found it incredibly helpful to write about my fears. When I write about my fears, I become more aware of what’s going on in my mind. It’s quite therapeutic
I wouldn’t have thought I knew anyone I could open up to in the past either but through my blog, I’ve found that many writers struggle with the same challenges. So, you’re not alone, and there might be more people you can open up to than you realize. I’ve found it easier to open up in my blog than talk about it face to face with friends.
Keep writing!
I love this post, Henneke, and your vulnerability. It sounds like you have come a long way and are finally realizing that you really do matter. Yes, we all love you and want more and more from you. But that’s simply because you give so much and we expect it. And I’m sure you’ll continue to do that, albeit in different ways.
I’m so happy that meditation is giving you some relief from pain and that you and your inner critics are becoming allies. We always have the answers, if only we take the time to listen. Best wishes for your new endeavours….♡
Yes, this is so true: “We always have the answers, if only we take the time to listen.” Isn’t it amazing how hard it is to listen sometimes?
Thank you for your lovely comment and well wishes, Joan. It has indeed been a long journey, but I’m finding my way 🙂
Yes, it’s often so much easier to get/keep busy than to step back, take a quiet thoughtFUL moment, and simply listen.
Nice post, Henneke.
Ironically being inside one’s own head too much can sabotage a cerebral activity like idea generation. A simple, effective meditation technique is to examine each thought briefly and let it go as if it’s a cloud passing by. Being aware of our thoughts, but detaching from them allows more interesting thoughts to emerge. Fresh ideas show up as soon as we stop chasing the stale old ones.
Another technique that will clear your head and leave you feeling refreshed is to focus on your body, one part at a time. Lying flat on your back, feel the faint vibration in your fingertips. Relax into it, allowing the feeling to spread to your hands and feet, then your arms and legs. Visualize it as a glow that converges at your heart and grows until your entire body is enveloped. With practice, this becomes like a reset button that can be pressed whenever needed. It’s possible to summon a feeling of calm in almost any situation: while walking, sitting at your desk working, or even in the middle of an argument.
Our bodies are connected more deeply to the rhythms of life than our chaotic brains. And those deeper currents are where the good ideas emerge if we can pick up on the signals. (Keep a notebook handy!)
The sceptic within us may insist that meditation is nothing more than new age BS. But that’s the ego attempting to create conflict and hog our attention. Mindfulness is the ability to step outside of that for a moment by observing our thoughts dispassionately.
Yes, those are good techniques — thank you for sharing, Jon.
Good for you Henneke. I hope your recovery continues. Excellent advice, as always, I appreciate your honesty and great drawings.
Thank you, Sue. I appreciate your compliment and well wishes.
Henneke,
thanks also for sharing also about your car crash as it relates to me too and so many people I know. Glad you are safe.
I hope you are safe, too!
I love the flying twitter sign, how great is that!
thanks Henneke
Thank you, Carol. I had almost left it out as I was struggling to fit it in!
Such richness, Henneke. Thank you for always delivering value that is dripping with loving kindness. Hugs, Lee ❤️
Hugs back to you, Lee ❤ Thank you for your lovely comment.
Hi Henneke,
Another great post as always! It’s always nice to hear, see, read that others struggle through pretty similar things you are too, so thanks for confirming I’m not (entirely) lazy and/or crazy?
To me these 2 sentences just said it all:
“I learned that my inner critic was only telling me that what I was doing mattered to me. She’s only trying to keep me safe.”
Maybe I can start to love and appreciate her a little more too.
Tnx
Mariken
Since I started writing more about my self-doubt, I’ve learned that so many of us struggle with the same things. I used to think it was only me, or perhaps I was part of a tiny minority of writing wimps. I’ve been surprised by how many people recognize my struggles.
Showing my inner critic a little more understanding and appreciation has made a big difference.
Thank you for stopping by, Mariken. I appreciate it. The struggle is easier when we share it. 🙂
I found your work the day after I prayed for help to write my blog. I am a Functional Health Coach in Iowa. I help people to manage their emotions and get over past traumas. This does not involve affirmations or talk therapy. It is super easy and will be free on my website when I get that up and going next month. Please contact me if you would like help. It takes 20 minutes and I use FaceTime or Zoom. You will know immediately if it is helping you. I am praying that you find answers. Thank you for all that you share, Ellyse
Thank you for your comment and your kind offer, Ellyse.
I don’t think I’m currently looking for answers. My yoga therapist is excellent, and he’s helping me to manage my emotions, too. I’m doing a lot better emotionally than a few months ago. I just need to practice a lot of patience to heal physically, too.
Henneke:
I learn something every time I read your posts. I especially love the books you recommend. They’re always on target and exactly what I need.
Many thanks for sharing so generously.
Your “British fan” Susan
Thank you so much, Susan. I hope you’ll enjoy the books mentioned here, too.
I appreciate your comment, and am grateful that you keep reading my blog after so many years.
Beautiful reading, I loved it by living it with you. I am so sorry to hear about your car crash. I had no idea about that tragedy.
Yes, pain leads to anxiety and this is what the good old family doctors took care of first. We called it the bed side manner of comforting in the good old days. I guess it understand that better now. Then again that’s external. What you have explained in your very lucid manner is different and worth paying a lot of attention to. I agree,every symptom you are speaking about I have experienced in the last 8 years of my life.
Yes, there is no other way but to face your fears take them apart and slowly, after ripping away the exterior rings of the very pungent onion life can be one can at least get rid of the surface appearance before building up the courage to attack the core.
It’s a hard pill to swallow, but there is no way around it. Your method of using love as a superior weapon is spiritual in origin, its your inner strength harnessed by your mindfulness
This is very encouraging for me to read in my difficult situation. I too am doing a similar exercise, but instead of escaping to social media or mail, I am now doing what I should have done years ago. Started working on pending Raw files in my hard disk, all put away to be processed in the future.
Surprisingly, bu grabbing the present and doing what I like, the roots of a little satisfaction plant have begun to take shape. I feel more ready to do something useful with my time, rather than wait for ‘things’ – (funny word) – to get better.
Thank you, Henneke I lost myself in being you again.
All the best dear, I feel better already. I am off to play with Photoshop and delve into the intricacies of gradient maps, that’s the present layer of the onion.
Other legal and physical problems can wait till I am ready to take them on.
Lots of love,
Doc
I’ve been thinking about the metaphor of peeling an onion, too. Somehow the gentleness of the water ripples suit me better (I hate it when onions make me cry!).
I agree with your point about not waiting for things to get better. I also kept thinking, when my energy level improves, I’ll be able to do this and that again. But I’ve realized, that’s no way to live. I need to find time to do the things I love now, too, and find the right balance.
Doing what we like nurtures our soul, and helps us on our path of healing.
Thank you so much for your warmhearted comment.
I’ve always hated the advice to “let go.” It makes me think of shuffling zombies, ghosted from their true selves.
Henneke, you hit upon why it’s important to pull your pain in closer first. You have to understand what you’re letting go of. If you try to just let go of the pain before you understand it, you also let go of the deeper lessons and meaning it brings to who you are. After reading this post, I better appreciate my resistance to letting go.
I’ve been sabotaging my writing for a long, long time. Out of fear of pulling myself closer and then letting my genuine thoughts and feelings go… as words out into world.
I struggle with the idea of letting go, too.
Strangely enough, when I try to let go of something, I can’t. But when I try to let it just “be,” then it floats away naturally. Some things we can’t force. But awareness helps me a lot.
Hi Henneke,
Hope you’re keeping well. Just read your latest piece.
As a company we have been researching the benefits of CBD oil as a potential product for the future, and we were amazed at the scientific results for the treatment of various conditions.
In particular for the treatment of chronic pain.
Please note big pharma and western medicine does not promote this product for commercial reasons.
If you have Netflix. There is an amazing well research documentary, which is well worth a watch. A Life of Its Own: The Truth About Medical Marijuana, by award-winning journalist Helen Kapalos which explores the subject of medical marijuana, uncovering life-changing treatments and cutting-edge research.
I hope the above is of help.
Best wishes,
John
Hi John, Thank you for sharing. I’m aware of the benefits of medical Marijuana.
I appreciate your comment.
Love this post. It drips with honesty and truth. And the cartoons made me laugh out loud. Sharing it with my tribe. Hugs from across the pond.
Were you laughing about the boxing? It was my first boxing drawing, and I was fairly pleased with it.
Sending hugs back across the pond. I hope the sun is shining on you, too.
And thank you for sharing!
Hi Henneke,
I’m a long-time reader and first-time commenter.
Thanks so much for this post and for sending this out to your subscribers today.
I have been feeling this way for a while, and I was wondering if I actually like writing or if I just find it a chore. You inspired me to reexamine myself and make writing easy again.
Thanks so much,
Amanda
Hi Amanda,
It’s very easy to turn writing into a chore and to forget why you chose to write. I’ve been there, too.
I’ve find that sometimes, it requires a slight change of direction—to write something you’d love to write. Sometimes, I need to take a break and re-find my creative energy. And at other times, a simple mindset shift can do wonders: instead of telling myself I *have to* write, I tell myself I *want to* write—it’s my choice.
I hope you can fall in love with writing again!
Incredible timing! Thank you so much. I literally just published a post writing about my frustrations as a writer. All through it, and for months, I’ve been listening to my inner-critic and letting her take the lead, sabotaging my writing. It was a step through fear to just put it out there and write post something. Then I saw your email of this post not even a minute after publishing it. So encouraging. And I love the drawings. Thank you! I love your writing and what you share from your heart.
I know the feeling so well, of having to step through fear to hit that “publish” button. It takes courage (and it can guzzle up a lot of energy).
Well done for putting your writing out there. Don’t forget to celebrate and pat yourself on the shoulder!
Such a smart, thoughtful piece! Thanks for sharing this, Henneke.
My life also changed after I began meditating. My brain calmed down, and my writing picked up.
Your fan,
– Eddie
Yes, that’s generally my experience, too, although the process hasn’t been linear. It sometimes feels like one step forward, and three steps back.
I appreciate your comment. Thank you for stopping by, Eddie.
Thanks, Henneke, for your post on mindfulness meditation. I have found practicing mindfulness very helpful. I have a typical writer’s personality… introverted and often depressed/anxious. Practicing mindfulness meditation helps me overcome self-sabotage. I find your transparency refreshing! And your post encouraging.
I appreciate your comment, James — it has taken me a long time to nurture the courage to become transparent about my writing struggles. I used to think people would laugh at me, but the truth is that far more people than I thought struggle with exactly the same issues.
Thank you for stopping by!
This came at the right time.
I’m suppose to churn out a blogpost today and I keep standing up to do something else whenever I’m stuck.
Now I see how mindfulness can help me stop running way from writing.
Thank you, Henneke.
Sometimes it’s good to step away and let something simmer for a while (so our “diffuse thinking mode” can take over and solve tricky issues) — but it works better when we make a conscious decision to do so.
Stepping away is different from running away–it’s not always easy to realize what we’re doing, but deep in our hearts, we usually know.
The idea about shorter courses is very good Henneke.
I can really relate to your thoughts, fears and frustrations and I like your clear, friendly writing style.
Focused, relevant bite-sized courses with quick lessons and tutoring at a good price would win me over.
Although I’m very hyped about improving my copywriting skills (frustratingly trying to finish a longer copywriting course, at the moment). I have a 9-5 job and find myself struggling with staying focused when I finally find or make time for studying and progressing with the course.
Creating a course with meditative influences would be really interesting. I’ve been following you for a while but recently have been distracted by all the info and options online.
I will be paying more attention to you from now on. Thanks.
Thank you for your vote for shorter courses, Marcos. Shorter courses have many benefits for both “students” and tutors 🙂
I’m looking forward to refreshing my program.
Thank you for stopping by!
Excellent, Henneke, thank you! Yes, it’s possible to recognize reactivity as it inevitably arises but then to pause and meet each situation with an open heart and mind.
Yes, it’s possible, but not always easy 🙂
Wow, you nailed it! Such perfect timing. I haven’t been completing my posts lately and get “distracted” with everything but writing. Some things are important, some aren’t. I think it’s been a huge stall tactic. Sometimes my mind just takes off with so many different topics I don’t slow down and just focus on one and follow through. But I think my fears (and lil critic Kim) are stopping me more than I realized. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in those thoughts. I’m going to work today on breaking down those big fears and begin by completing work I’ve started!
I wonder, if you hadn’t emailed your tribe in a while, would you recommend acknowedging that in your next email or just mail away as if you talked to them yesterday?
As a side note, chronic pain is no joke and I admire you for working so hard to find your way through it. Being as creative as you are when you feel bad is not easy, but it can also be such a good therapy. I’m so loving your art along with your posts! Your characters are adorable and your writing is always inspiring to me! ???
Yes, you’re so right about creativity and chronic pain. That’s my experience, too. Being creative can help me forget I’m feeling tired or I’m in pain. But it’s also tricky because when I get too tired it becomes almost impossible to plow on. Energy management is key.
On emailing your tribe after you’ve been out of touch for a while … it really depends a little on how personal you are in your emails. If you tend to be personal, you may want to explain your absence and tell people you’re back. But keep in mind that it’s also likely that many people haven’t even realized you’ve been out of touch (everyone’s inbox is too full), so you can also just email again, add a short PS or mention in the email footer why people are getting your emails (and that you’ve been absent for a while). Go with the option that feels right to you.
Henneke,
I adore you. I have learned so much from you over the years I have been following this blog. Just wanted to say thank you! And point out one typo in the first paragraph:
“When I blogging writing in my early 40s”
Thanks for all your work
All the best
Nicole
Oops. Thank you for pointing that out. I corrected it!
I don’t know about mindfulness – I have a hard time slowing down myself and my thoughts. The body and the mind resist slowing down. But I do fully agree with ‘Being present with whatever life throws at you.’ It is the only way. Right through the middle, the center, the core, whatever it is called.
I hope you come up with some great plans, so you can free up more time to spend on yourself and enjoying life.
Being present is what mindfulness is about.
Some of the most common techniques (like focusing on breathing) don’t work for me—I get even more agitated. But there are many different techniques, and some help me let go of resistance and slow down even if that feels impossible.
I like focusing on breathing – except I forget to do it 😉 That’s what I mean. Doing slow yoga helps – but only as long as I do it. Well, may be longer. But the busier work gets, the harder it is to remember to make time for it. There is the conundrum. How do you do that?
I haven’t found one trick that solves that conundrum. One thing I noticed is that I often sabotage any attempt to form a habit by thinking to myself … I never stick to habits. I can’t do this. This is not my thing. This won’t work. So, whenever I notice such thoughts popping up, I remind myself I just need to practice and I can get better.
The other thing that helps me a lot is to do short periods of exercise / meditation and tag them onto something else. So, currently, I get up, shower, make a cup of tea, and then I do a 6 minute meditation session before I start writing. I write for two times 25 minutes, and then have breakfast. And when I sit down to get back to work, I meditate for another 6 minutes.
Some people schedule everything in their calendar (even time to play with their kids or read a book for pleasure) but that doesn’t work for me. I need flexibility (otherwise I get rebellious), but tagging the new habit to something I do naturally works well for me.
In the past, I’ve also kept track of things I wanted to do to feel good. So, every day I wanted to walk and meditate. And I would draw a little flower on my calendar (I use a paper one) every time I had walked or done my meditation — the flower felt like a kind of reward. This worked for me for a while, but then I started rebelling against it, so I let go.
I think I rebel against anything that’s routine, so it seems like I need to continuously find new ways to stick to habits and make it feel less routine. I change my meditation practice regularly (with help from my yoga therapist), sometimes after a few months, sometimes after a few weeks.
So you keep changing to fool your brain 😉
Good plan.
Can you tell us a bit more about these techniques?
Over the past 10 years, I often experience panic attacks, sometimes I manage to cope with them, sometimes they calmed down for years. I accepted the fact that they will not disappear from my life, it became a little easier. However, in life, there are constant stresses and I’m back in this puddle.
You are a very sensitive person, Henneke. This is an amazing quality, but it always has consequences.
You create a unique opportunity to dream, you inspire and reassure. When I read your articles, I always feel peace and children’s joy, while learning and becoming better.
The world needs people like you! And I need more focused self-study courses.
Thank you!
Yes, I’m very sensitive – you’re right (how did you know?), and this makes it harder to recover from my injury, both physically and emotionally.
I’m no expert in dealing with panic attacks, and can only share my own experience and what I’ve learned from my yoga therapist.
In the beginning, I would deal with panic attacks with a sense of “letting the storm blow over.” But I found that this had a negative impact. So, I’ve learned to stay present as much as I can. This is where the idea of ripples was very helpful, to find an emotion or feeling I could stay present with.
There are a lot of stresses in life, and I’ve found it helps me to try eliminating unnecessary stressors. So, stay away from toxic people, reduce my workload, and even avoid reading the news on difficult days. It also helps me to do more of the things that nurture my soul (writing, drawing, walking, cycling, reading). Also, asking for help. I sometimes can get stuck with simple decisions, and I just have to ask my husband to help me decide.
But we can’t eliminate all stress, and we don’t even want to because stress has also it’s positive side—stress is, for instance, also about excitement when we do something new and when we’re learning. I found the book “The Upside of Stress” of Kerry McGonigal useful.
Feel free to email me if you want to continue this conversation. Your comment makes me think you might be a sensitive person, too?
thank you so much, just what I needed to move my pen and release the tension
Thank you, Karo. I appreciate your comment.