Content marketing is tricky, eh?
Everyone says to write helpful content.
But if you’re a small company or a solo-flyer like me, you can’t outcompete the big companies on helpfulness. They have a whole team of writers, editors, social media managers, SEO experts, link builders etc., etc.
And you?
Like me, you might be on your own.
And content marketing is only a small part of your job.
So, what to do?
You can go super-niche and get known for something very specific.
Or you can be more personal and become like a friend to your readers so they can’t wait to work with you and tell all their friends about you.
Want to know how?
How to show up in your writing
I just finished reading a delightful book: Home Cooking by Laurie Colwin.
It’s partly a how-to book with recipes and cooking advice. But what makes the book delightful are the personal stories.
These stories make me feel like I get to know the author. I picture her—with a twinkle in her eyes—writing about red peppers. I watch her preparing her favorite potato salad. I almost expect her to ring the doorbell later today, a pot of hearty soup in her hands. It’s been a cold day, my friend. Let’s eat.
When writers show up in their writing, readers feel closer to them, it’s almost as if they become friends with the author.
How is that possible?
Say the quiet things out loud
There are things that we are meant to keep to ourselves—even more so when we’re trying to position ourselves as experts.
Why embarrass yourself? Better to focus on sharing your knowledge and showing off your skills, eh?
But, while Colwin shares plenty of her knowledge, she also says—or rather writes—the quiet bits out loud.
It’s rather endearing:
Some people might call this Red Pepper Conserve, but it will always be red pepper sludge to me. (…) I confess that I have been known to stand over the jar with a long fork and simply eat the contents by themselves.
Colwin shares her guilty pleasures. She eats one-pot meals straight out of the pot and recommends eating pancakes directly from the skillet without sharing with others.
And she recommends a pair of tongs:
A pair of cheap tongs—no kitchen is complete without them. For picking up asparagus or other vegetables, for pulling the stuck spaghetti from the bottom of the pot, for grabbing cookies that have fallen off the sheet in the oven. Tongs can easily be unbent to form one long arm with which to retrieve things that you have accidentally kicked under the stove, and then they can be bent back into tongs again.
Note how that paragraph above goes from the most to the least respectable. Using tongs to pick up vegetables is normal advice. Unbending them to retrieve things that you have kicked under the stove less so.
And while she tells us that platters of fried chicken will be greeted by family and friends with cries of happiness, she also admits:
There are many disagreeable things about frying chicken. No matter how careful you are, flour gets all over everything and the oil splatters far beyond the stove. It is impossible to fry chicken without burning yourself at least once. For about twenty-four hours your house smells of fried chicken. This is nice only during dinner and then begins to pall. Waking up to the smell of cooking fat is not wonderful. Furthermore, frying chicken is just about the most boring thing you can do.
What an honesty!
Marketers often talk about authenticity. But let’s be real. That authenticity is often performative. How often do we share the quiet bits? How often do we write like real humans?
Earn the right to share your successes
Colwin’s book is part recipes, part essays about cooking and life, all in one smooth flow.
But surprisingly, as she’s teaching how to cook, she gives us permission to cheat:
And of course, for those of you about to give a dinner party for chocolate nuts, you know what bakeries are for: so that, at the end of dinner, you can put your feet up and have the chocolate dessert you didn’t bake.
And she’s honest when she messes up a dinner party so badly that they decide to go out for dinner:
“Hey,” said one of these friends, “wouldn’t it be groovy if we could dump this whatever it is in the garbage and go out for dinner?” So that is what we did. If all else fails, eat out, and while you are smiling through your tears, remember that novices usually make the same terrible mistake only once.
There are many cooking mishaps in the book. The numerous times she fails to cook rice properly. A loaf of bread so dense it almost knocks her teeth out. Yet another ill-fated dinner party that ends up with hamburgers and fries at a local bar.
As a reader, I am ready to cheer Colwin on, smiling and licking my lips when she’s sharing her successes:
The result was absolutely breathtaking. I could not believe I had baked such a perfect loaf of bread: a dark brown crust, a beautiful smell. I let it cool down and when I cut it, it had air holes just like a loaf from a French bakery. Furthermore, it was delicious: wheaty, light but not at all airy. Everyone loved it, and I assumed it was beginner’s luck. It was not, for I have now made this bread over and over, with varying proportions of white to whole-wheat flour.
Even when sharing her successes, Colwin remains humble, and she doesn’t take herself too seriously:
As everyone knows, there is only one way to fry chicken correctly. Unfortunately, most people think their method is best, but most people are wrong. Mine is the only right way, and on this subject I feel almost evangelical.
Writing about yourself requires a little distance from your ego. Don’t take yourself too seriously. A dollop of humility makes your writing better and endears you to readers.
Share your joy and passion
Social media is full of people whose bios claim that they’re passionate about their work.
But telling us you’re passionate actually tells us nothing.
Instead, let your actions speak for you. Here’s how Colwin shows us her passion:
At night some people count sheep and others read mysteries. I lie in bed and think about food. Often I make up menus. Sometimes I invent recipes. One night, while drowsily meditating on the issue of stuffing, it came to me: cornbread and prosciutto. Yes, that was it! The perfect stuffing. The next Thanksgiving, I tried it out.
You can sense Colwin’s joy and her passion on every page of the book. Here’s an other example, when she’s taken out to a Chinese restaurant:
At the first taste of that fish, I began to laugh. My companion gave me a worried look. After all, I was in my early twenties and perhaps he thought I was more than a little cracked. But it was the food that made me laugh. It was so wonderful and unexpected, so totally new I hardly knew how else to respond.
To befriend your readers, write from your heart and share what fascinates you. Readers will not only realize you know your stuff, they’ll also sense your passion. And that’s what breathes life into your writing, and it makes readers want to get closer to you.
Serve your readers a hearty soup
Of course, writing is not just about the writer and her joy.
Good writing is a dialogue with readers. You may write for yourself but you also write for your readers.
So, I want to end with this lovely thought:
A long time ago it occurred to me that when people are tired and hungry, which in adult life is much of the time, they do not want to be confronted by an intellectually challenging meal: they want to be consoled. When life is hard and the day has been long, the ideal dinner is not four perfect courses, each in a lovely pool of sauce whose ambrosial flavors are like nothing ever before tasted, but rather something comforting and savory, easy on the digestion—something that makes one feel, if even for only a minute, that one is safe. A four-star meal is the right thing when the human animal is well rested and feeling rich, but it is not much help to the sore in spirit who would be much better off with a big bowl of homemade soup.
When you write your next blog post or e-newsletter, what hearty soup can you serve your readers?
How will you feed them and comfort them?
Remember, if you’re a tiny team or doing content marketing on your own, your biggest asset is YOU.
Your personality. Your passion. Your ability to connect with and befriend your readers.
Being helpful is a given.
Being YOU is what makes you different, more endearing, more worthy of reading.
Book mentioned in this post:
- Home Cooking: A Writer in the Kitchen by Laurie Colwin (highly recommended)
More examples of personal writing:
How to write a personal narrative in miniature
How to write about yourself
20+ writing examples that showcase good writing
Hi Henneke,
What a lovely post, it made me smile, thank you! I think Colwin hit the nail on the head about that feeling of craving a comforting meal after a long and tiring day. I’ve put the book on my to-read list.
I absolutely love injecting personality into my writing. It’s what keeps us (as readers) hooked, isn’t it? With every story, we tell ourselves we’re there for the plot, but really, we’re there for the characters–at least, I know I am!
I’m really glad I stumbled on your blog. I can’t wait to read more!
Thank you, Cheryl. I’m glad this blog post made you smile 🙂
I love how you put this: With every story, we tell ourselves we’re there for the plot, but really, we’re there for the characters. So true!
Hi, Henneke…
Most of us have similar life experiences. Getting personal and speaking from the heart make the difference and show life as more enjoyable and relatively carefree, even if I burn a meal before my guests arrive!
Thanks for sharing this post.
Life is so much better when we can be honest and share our experiences, isn’t it?
Colwin, who sadly left us far too young, is beloved in the cooking world (and doubtless outside it) for just the reasons you mention.
If you enjoy warm, friendly, funny food writing, I also recommend Deb Perelman’s food blog, Smitten Kitchen. Not all her posts capture her arch humor, but most of them do.
And though I’m not sure how relevant her work is to the blogo- and content-sphere, MFK Fisher’s work falls into the “best of the best” of writing style. If you haven’t read her, you are in for a treat.
I might be wrong but my impression is that Colwin is less known in the UK than in the US. Her book Home Cooking was only released here two years ago (posthumously).
I will check out Deb Perelman and MFK Fisher. I much appreciate the recommendations! Thanks so much, June.
Love this!!! Beautiful examples and couldn’t agree more. Hard sometimes though, to let go of that ‘shame’ that comes with sharing a personal story. I write about heavy stuff, emotional trauma, etc. I try to keep it light to make it easier for me, as well as for the reader, but I really have to work hard on releasing shame and blockages. That would be an interesting topic as well! 🙂 How to release that shame. Doesn’t just go for the big things, even for the small things. Sharing personal stories makes you feel super vulnerable. Maybe that’s why many people find it hard and rather hide behind their business persona?
Yes, I agree. It’s safer to hide behind a business persona. I’ve done that, too, in the past. I think everyone should set their own boundaries. We don’t have to bare all, and we have to be especially careful if we’re feeling fragile. Even positive feedback on a personal post (and all the unasked for advice!) can sometimes be tough to process. There’s also other people to consider. If we write about trauma that may affect family members who may not be ready for it. (I’m sure you’re aware of this—just writing this for others who may read this and think they have to share when they’re not ready.)
Releasing shame would be a great topic to write about. It’s also true that writing and sharing can be positive and therapeutic when one is ready for it—a way to process, to connect, and feel less alone. It can make you feel stronger.
It’s possible to start with the less heavy stuff. I like how Laurie Colwin gets personal and writes about real life without it ever feeling heavy.
This is so inspiring and a learning curve.
I have just learnt a whole lot.
Thanks.
Thank you, Chuks. Happy writing!
Henneke–what a fabulous post. So true, so useful . . . I will share this with all of my clients struggling to write for their audiences. They need to read this to get out of the corporate-speak trap. Thank you!
I’m so glad you found this useful, Janet. And thank you so much for sharing with your clients. I’m always happy when I stumble across great examples like Laurie Colwin’s writing.
Yes, I completely agree with you- It’s I when there is none but I myself do all the stuff to feed my reader.
Unlike big-box stores (big team of writers, editors, and link builders), I always found myself a baby to beat the big guy on my niche.
Fortunately, giving a personal feeling & touch to my write-up helps to make a bonding with me and my readers.
Thank you, Henneke for sharing your inspirational words with us to make us feel how important it’s to connect with our readers by sharing our personal experience, joy, and of course, the sadness.
Most of us are in the same boat! But we can win by being different and more personal.
Thank you for stopping by, Sohel. I appreciate it.
What a delightful post Henneke, the examples make it soooo easy to read. And it’s absolutely true, personal stories make it all more relatable. Question, how to measure when the stories are too much? Sometimes I feel the cringe when someone is oversharing. ‘Be yourself’ can be tricky advice.
Yes, it’s tricky. I agree. The way I decide whether to share or not, is by reviewing my intention. If I want to share something because I am looking for people to comfort me or console me or compliment me, then I won’t share—better to talk to a friend. If I am writing to share a lesson, because I think it’s useful for others, too, then I will share. I never want to share out of a neediness. It often means that I need some distance from an event or feeling before I can share; I don’t want to be in the midst of it. Of course, others may have different ways to decide whether to share or not and set different boundaries but this seems to work for me. So far, I have not regretted sharing something.
Ooohh that’s very interesting advice. I’d be using this as a rule of thumb for my own stories. In my offline life, I am an extrovert and share my personal life with anyone with confidence but I find it trickier online. I need to admit that when I spot a bad person online (mean remarks, vanity etc.) I cringe a little so I always think it’s better to remain ‘unseen’ in some contexts. I’d rather be unknown than for people to spot my own vanity (guilty!) 😂 but it’s true that if the purpose is to help, the angle becomes positive. Thank you!
I think there’s also something in celebrating milestones together—that’s not so much sharing a lesson. I think it can be a nice way to thank people for their support or to just celebrate together, creating a sense of community. Again, wouldn’t want to do it out of a kind of neediness.
This was just perfect, Henneke, thank you!
I usually start my day with writing (it’s morning here :-)) but your newsletter is the exception.
It fires the writing brain in the right way (or should I say feeds the brain, just to stay with the topic). Either way, it is a delightful indulgence.
As always, grateful for the inspiration!
What an honor, Daniela, that you allow my writing to interrupt your routine. Such lovely feedback. Happy writing!
Thanks Henneke,
That was a really lovely read. Warm and friendly – both your writing and Colwin’s quotes. And a wonderful example for us to follow.
And woohoo, I can’t wait to hop on board for the workshop, I know every module will be seeped in your sage writing wisdom. I have a whole load of titles in need of your touch.
See you soon,
Sonna
Thank you for your lovely comment, Sonna. See you in the workshop next week! 🙂 Don’t forget to post your headlines in the comment section of the course. Looking forward to this workshop!
Delicious post. Simple, but savory. Easy to digest.
But it does leave me hunger for more.
Thank you
Ah, yes, this is a problem with writing about food. Perhaps Henrietta can send you some of her Dutch split pea soup?
I read Colwin’s Home Cooking years ago and was very engaged by her honest voice. As a Southern cook, I will say she got everything right about frying chicken–the arguments about recipes—brining? buttermilk batter? and the mess. But frying chicken is not boring.
When she was 66 my now 86 year-old neighbor shared this: 1. Make the potato salad and deviled eggs ahead of time.
2. Lay out all the ingredients for your batter, cut up your chicken (yes whole chicks are best), prepare your fowl, THEN POP A COLD BEER.
3. Heat the fat, drop, the chicken in, and POP ANOTHER BEER.
4. Welcome your guests! ENJOY!
I like that. Thanks so much for sharing, Cheryl.
For completeness, here’s the full quote from Laurie Colwin on why she thought it was boring: “Furthermore, frying chicken is just about the most boring thing you can do. You can’t read while you do it. Music is drowned out by constant sizzling.”
She may not have gotten the advice about the cold beer 🙂
‘A long time ago it occurred to me that when people are tired and hungry, which in adult life is much of the time,’ > you are right, you got to love her!
Yes! That’s probably my favorite of all quotes I used. Hemingway talked about writing “one true sentence.” (I’m just reading a book about it.) It feels to me, that the sentence you highlighted is that one true sentence.
That depends on what you deem important 😉 But I agree. It’s nice. I used to collect such sentences.
‘She wondered if children really did improve a marriage.’ (Anne Tyler, don’t know which book.)
Things most people never say out loud.
The sentence by Laurie Colwin seems to sum up the essence of her book well.
And yes, on Anne Tyler. And what a great idea to collect such sentences.
Henneke,
This post was perfect for me and what I’m trying to achieve with my recipe writing too. Thank you.
Laurie Colwyn a great example of this type of friend/cook/welcome-to-my-life-join-me-in-my-home type of writer. Can I suggest four more for you (or for others) to read? All could be daughters or sisters in style.
Jenny Linford (who I felt I knew so well after her book The Missing Ingredient that I treated her, when I met her, as the friend I thought she was rather than the friend I imagined she was) The Missing Ingredient.
Diana Hendry. The most lyrical description of “how to eat a Peach” from the cookery book of the same name.
Debra Robertson in ‘Notes from a Small Kitchen Island’
And of course, Nigella Lawson’s recent Cook, Eat, Repeat.
All of them write, I feel, with a similar confessional tone to Laurie Colwyn, all in their own different ways and they all write in ways that makes you like them personally, even when you don’t.
What a treat—4 more book recommendations from Paul. Thank you! 🙂
I’m adding them all to my reading list. I felt kind of sad that I’d finished Colwyn’s book, so feeling extra excited to have more welcome-to-my-life-and-join-me-in-my-home writing to read. Something to look forward to!
Isn’t it interesting that they’re all women?