Being busy used to make me feel good.
The more tasks I ticked off from my to-do list, the more productive I felt.
And I loved the adrenaline rush of working late at night. I kept pushing myself to work a little harder, to achieve a little more.
When running your own biz, there’s always more to do, right?
I thought I thrived on stress.
Late 2014, something changed
I was struggling to recover from a car crash.
I was unable to sit at my desk for long. I couldn’t concentrate. So, I cut my working hours to 15 – 20 hours a week, and I strictly forbade myself to work after dinner.
Initially, I was scared. I didn’t know whether I could run a business in so few hours, and I was afraid of turning into a wimp.
But my productivity soared.
I chose to do the work that nourished my soul and helped maintain my business. I was happily juggling rehab and work.
This summer, my juggling act was rudely disrupted
My rehab wasn’t going well.
Keeping myself together guzzled up all my energy. I lost my optimistic streak. I was mentally and physically exhausted.
I decided I had to make health my sole priority. I had to regain some fitness. I had to cut down my work to 10 hours a week.
You’d think that would be doable, right?
I knew already how to prioritize and schedule my workload. I had done it before, and I had learned to be okay with doing less.
It seemed like a no-brainer.
But I struggled to accept working even fewer hours
I was afraid of being left behind.
I was afraid of disappointing my readers, of failing to meet your expectations, and perhaps even worse, to fail my own expectations for myself.
I was afraid to feel like a loser if I’d give in to my tiredness.
Aren’t we supposed to live our life to the fullest?
I kicked myself for feeling so lost and frustrated. Hadn’t I learned to look after myself? Hadn’t I learned that it was okay to just be?
I had even proudly written a blog post about the difference between being and doing.
Why couldn’t I cope?
Self-compassion is hard
Most of us learn to be harsh with ourselves when we grow up.
We think we need to criticize ourselves and beat ourselves up to do a little more, to live a fuller life, to get better at whatever we try to learn.
But beating ourselves up makes us feel insecure. We’re repeating the voices from the past that told us we’re not good enough. Whatever we do, it’s never enough.
My meditation teacher taught me a technique for practicing self-compassion. He suggested thinking of myself when I was a small kid, and to wish that little girl happiness, and a life free from pain, free from fear.
I was surprised how judgmental I was about that little kid.
I think of her as difficult, awkward, clumsy. Not girlie enough. A quiet girl who can’t keep up with the popular kids. An oddball.
Loving that little me turned out to be hard.
But over time, I started to understand her better, and my resistance to loving her is dissolving. I now want to protect her, and I feel my heart warming when I think of her.
Real self-love is not bound by achievement
If we can only love ourselves if we work a little harder, that’s not real self-love.
If we can only love ourselves when we make a little more money, read the must-read books, or cycle a little farther, that’s not real self-love.
Real self-love is accepting that it’s sometimes hard to be human, that it’s okay to go through a dark time, that it’s okay to ask for and accept help, that it’s okay to make mistakes, to fail.
Real self-love is forgiving ourselves.
On Friday, I’m turning 50
I used to be grateful that I got that accident in my early 40s so that by 50 I’d be fit and healthy again.
I didn’t quite achieve that.
But, unexpectedly, I achieved something more important.
I learned to be more patient with myself, and to see how much I get in my own way. I learned to take better care of myself, and to keep believing in the incredible power of healing. I learned to be gentle, and love myself a little more.
Whatever life throws at me in my next decade, I hope to accept it with a little more grace.
I’m going to hug my inner child more often. With more warmth, and more love.
Thank you for reading, my friend. Take good care of yourself.
Recommended reading on self-love:
How I learned to be me
Being vs doing: The peculiar art of getting unstuck
How to find inner peace in 3 steps
Thank you soo much I been beating myself up lately
I’m glad this was useful, Muna. Let’s be kind to ourselves!
As a certified coach, encouraging self-love is something that I do on a daily basis.
I am so happy to see this discussion on a marketing blog and not on the usual “personal development blogs & magazines”. And I am also happy to see that it has more comments than all of the other posts I’ve read today on your blog (yeah, 8 of them :D)
Much love, Henneke <3
Wow, you’ve read 8 posts here today? I feel humbled.
Thank you so much, Roswitha—for reading and for stopping by to leave a comment. Much love to you, too. ?
Your story brought tears to my eyes and I gave myself a compassionate loving self hug! Thank you for that.
I can relate to so many things you wrote about and I too am belated in reading this message from the date of your birthday.
The Universe is fascinating to me in terms of how and when things show up. Reading this tonight is such a part of my current journey.
Thank you for sharing so openly from your heart and doing it in such a succinct way. I’ve been reading all of your articles that have been in my inbox for the past year. I made a commitment to write my book and have it published next year. In process of progress and your information has inspired and assisted me in so many ways.
Truly I’m deeply grateful. A tremendous big loving hug both for each and every day since your birthday and in particular for your belated birthday greeting.
Thank you,
Love Nansey
I know that feeling when something shows up just when you need it. It’s magical.
I’m glad to hear you’re feeling inspired to write your book and get it published next year. That’s fab! Have you started or will this be a project for the new year?
Sending you a big virtual hug ? Thank you for stopping by. I much appreciate it.
You’re so right about magical things appearing. I’m 8 year older than you and just had my birthday a week ago. I had started some more deep inner reflection earlier in the month and it’s amazing how things have come to light.
You were just so bang on with so much of what you shared.
I’ve started my book just this past 3 weeks and my aim is to have it finished April 2020 and then ready to publish.
Actually I started it years ago and just couldn’t get the groove of it. In going through some previous journal entries I realized just how much time has passed and how often I’ve said I was going to get this book done. NOW is the time and I’m committed to getting it finished so I don’t die with the music inside of me.
Sending hugs of appreciation and compassion to you.
Thanks so much for the inspiration and your obvious kindness.
I’ve found that sometimes our writing has to simmer for a while, and when the time is right we can finally commit to it.
It sounds like you’re well on your way to finishing your book. I’m glad you started working on it already and are committed to sharing your ideas. From your comment, it feels like you’re totally up for it. Happy writing!
Thank you so much.
I’m a 70-year old guy, and because of a tenuous marriage, I’ve had to start dealing with myself and fear of abandonment. Dates WAY back to 6-7 years old, followed by a life of anger and sadness. Although I had considered doing the unthinkable to myself in my mid-twenties, Prozac started to take the edge off somewhat. Although still taking Prozac, my past and the many years that followed have come back to roost. Now seeing a therapist, both individually and with my wife, I need to peel the layers back to find that kid and start with a big hug. I’m JUST today trying to get started. Your post is one of the first I’ve related to, and the first I have shared where I am in writing.
Many thanks again!
Fred Converse
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Peeling back those layers can feel like a tough task but knowing that’s what you want to do is an important first step. I hope you can soon get in touch with young Fred again and learn to love him. ?
After 30 I stopped stressing about it. About not doing enough and letting time pass – feels great. Now I’m more healthy than ever and actually I’m doing more than before.
You’re much smarter than me having figured this out at your 30th already! 🙂
Hi Henneke,
Thank you so much for this enlightening article. You are reminding me I will be turning into my golden year, next year. LOL
Anyway, I would better be kinder to my inner child, hug her and tell her, it’s just okay to show the simple ME inside–with a lot of imperfections but willing to move on with this chaotic world, carrying with me my failures, stresses and so on, but accepting them all and giving her a pat on the back saying, “Its okay, you can do it again, and this time you will win.”
Thank you so much for sharing your inner child and for simply being YOU.
Josh
Thank you for your lovely comment, Josh. It warms my heart! ?
Wow you’re fifty. When I spotted you on Twitter just having ‘liked’ a tweet I did mentioning you, I had no idea you turned 50, I thought early forties. Anyway Happy Birthday Henneke I hope you enjoyed the day. I am turning 44 in December and did you know that us men start to mature at about 43 (Read it on Medium somewhere this week) while Ladies mature in mid twenties. Interesting statistic I’m sure you would agree and kinda true methinks.
I lost my Mum on Christmas day back in twenty ten under horrible circumstances (She was found lying in the snow outside her front door by a neighbour) and that really hit myself, my dad and my brother hard. Those few weeks after my web development business went out the window and I lost loads of work.
After the above happened, I learned a few lessons in the coming weeks and months after losing ones mother and that is how precious life is and that we need to cherish it. Also how we should not take ourselves to seriously and place our egos on a pedestal and finally but most importantly remember to have fun and spread fun and happiness with everyone around ourselves.
Was good to be here and thank you for indulging me Henneke.
Cheerio for now.
Phillip
I’m sorry you lost your Mother in such difficult circumstances. Life can feel so unfair.
I’m glad you’ve found a renewed sense of the the preciousness of life.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Philip. I appreciate it.
PS My bio photo is a few years old. I should get a new one, but haven’t been able to muster the energy for that and it doesn’t feel like a priority.
Hi Henneke,
First of all belated happy birthday! I read your post late and missed wishing you. My birthday is in September and somehow I knew you are Virgo too. We virgos are very harsh critics of ourselves. Like you, I have to train myself to love my inner-child, although over time I have to keep reminding myself to continue to do so. Well come to life in the second-half. Having been there earlier than you, I can assure you it is much much better than the first-half. I have been ‘retired’ for six months now and doing all the things I want to do – write, draw, blog, paint, travel, sing, dance, and inspiring others to do the same. You have inspired me a lot with your posts and your drawings. I have joined the DaVinci course and enjoying it heaps. Thanks to you I am now a member of very inspiring and helpful community. Enjoy your time off, look after yourself and don’t fee guilty if you have to cut down your work to actually live your life. Love you always. We will all be here whenever you come back. (I was travelling through UK in May this year and was actually thinking about knocking at your door to say hi, this is how much you have touched me.)
Thank you so much for your warm-hearted comment, Neera. You touched me.
Training ourselves to love our inner child is a tough job, right? But in the end, it’s so rewarding. I’m learning.
It’s lovely to hear I’ve inspired you to join the DaVinci course and are enjoying it so much. I have fond memories of my time at DaVinci, too.
And maybe one day you’ll really knock at my door and we’ll drink a cup of tea together. ?
Hello
Happy Birthday and Thankyou sharing Your Experience this is very useful for me Again Thankyou and Good wishes For you…
Thank you, Fihana. I’m glad it was useful to you. ?
Happy birthday Henneke.
Please take care of yourself and don’t stress about disappointing us, your readers.
You have given us so much already that we will be grateful to you for the rest of our lives.
I know, is not fair to talk for others but I’m so sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.
Big hug and thank you again for being so human 🙂
Love,
Elena
Thank you for your kind words, Elena. It helps! Big hug back to you. ?
You are a very energetic and determined person, I am very touched to know that at the beginning of 40 years you have had an accident, but you have overcome it, it is wonderful and at the age of 50 you have been healthy again. So please love yourself more. I like your way of life, so healthy
Thank you for your encouragement. It’s more like I am learning to live with an injured and hypersensitive body rather than having recovered. But learning to live is a valuable skill!
Such a heartfelt post. it deserves to be shared among my friends and their friends as well.??
Thank you for sharing ?
With the loss of physical strength, health and all, grief comes naturally. And dealing with grief while also dealing with recovery, while running a business – that’s tough.
That’s when you need the self-love most of all, but when it’s even more hard to find, it seems. You have walked this path and it has taken you years.
I’m happy to see you are turning 50 with this amount of wisdom. Congrats on that!
Thank you for your wise comment, Ton. It’s making me think how complicated grieving is when also trying to get better. Grief and hope are hard to juggle, and for a long time I didn’t allow myself to grieve because I didn’t want to lose hope. I think I’m learning to let the two co-exist.
I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. Thank you.
Hi!
Happy birthday and thank you for sharing your experience. It was helpful to hear that. :))
Thank you, Teresa I am glad it was helpful to you. Take care. ?
Happy Birthday Henneke Beautiful post.
It reminded me of the poem Desiderata.
(Les Crane version)
Keep the inspiration flowing, enjoy your days off.
And thank you for the wisdom once again.
Thank you, Barry, for your birthday wishes and also for mentioning that poem. I didn’t know it, so looked it up. This especially resonates with me:
your post is just what i needed . Thank you for sharing your journey. Prayers for your healing. Terri
Thank you, Terri. I am glad you found it helpful.
Henneke,
This post really hits home with me.
This has been a year of health challenges that disrupted my plans to set up an online class and knocked my joie de vivre off course. The very medication intended to get me back to “normal” caused an allergic reaction that zapped my energy and slowed my pace.
Even though I wasn’t back to full energy, I went ahead with my plans to celebrate my 75th birthday at a Soul Train-themed party with catered food and a live DJ. With my friends and relatives around me, I got energized and had fun dancing, eating and enjoying lively conversation.
I still get frustrated sometimes as I have to remind myself I’m not the Energizer Bunny and must slow down, respect what my body is telling me, and definitely practice self-compassion. A biggie for me has been asking for and accepting help, but I’m learning.
Thanks for sharing your experience and reminding me to be patient with myself and hug my inner child more. She definitely loves that!
Hi Flora,
I am sorry to hear of your health challenges.
It’s also been hard for me to learn to accept I can’t do as much as I used to be able to do, but just learning to accept that already frees up some energy. Frustrations can guzzle up so much of our energy.
Your birthday celebrations sound fab. A belated happy birthday to you, too.
Thank you for stopping by to share your story. I appreciate it.
Happy Birthday, Henneke!
Another great post. It’s always enjoyable to read your take on the facts of life, and it’s always inspiring.
I wish you to feel joie de vivre every single day!
Thank you so much, Fanny! I am always happy to see you pop up here. Here’s to more joie de vivre for all of us.
Didn’t know I needed to hear this, but I did! Coincidences never happen it was a reason I saw and read this
Thank you for reading, and for leaving a comment, Velma. I appreciate it.
I’m a little late with congratulations, sorry. Congratulations, Henneke! Very beautiful age.
I wish you joy, health, sunny days inside and out.
You are not only an example for good people, but you are also like a locomotive of an honest and kind person rushing forward in spite of everything. And as a writer, you do the most crucial task – inspire.
Thank you!
I am having extended birthday celebrations (with a quiet holiday), so you’re not too late at all. And anyway it’s always good to ‘hear’ from you. I appreciate all your encouragement in the last few years! Thank you, Michael.
Happy birthday!! thanks so much for this
Thank you! ?
A beautiful, meaningful post. Thank you – and happy birthday!
Thank you so much, Lindsey. ?
Hi Henneke,
wishing you a very happy birthday! I am glad to see how you keep growing. Sunny hug from Cyprus!
Van harte gefeliciteerd!
Thank you so much for your sunny hug, Christian. We’re never too old to learn and grow 🙂
Thanks for always inspiring me with your thoughts. Happy birthday, I wish you well.
Thank you so much, Soupriye ❤️
Thank you, wise woman! Happy 50th on Friday!! This resounded with me since I spent a lotta time in physical therapy this year when I “shoulda” “coulda” “woulda” been blogging. The adrenaline rush of achievement IS hard to resist. We’ll be here when you get back from your refreshing vacay.
Physical therapy can be so tough. I hope you feel better soon!
See you again after my vacation, Amanda. And thank you so much for your birthday wishes ❤️
Good advice. Happy birthday to you and have a great vacation.
Thank you, Siver ❤️
As the comedian once said, “Ta Ta Timing, is everything”.
Your timing for me turns out to be everything.
Thank you for the vivid and compassionate reminder.
I need (present tense) THAT!
I’m happy that this arrived (arrives?) at just the right time for you, Stephen. Take care ❤️
You are a positively lovely human. Bless you and thank you for sharing this. Happy birthday! Enjoy everything xo
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Sarah. I appreciate it. ❤️
Loving yourself works miracles in our lives.
Happy Birthday, Henneke.
Thank you, Varun ❤️
I love this post. Thank you so much. Happy 50th Birthday, I hope you have a blast.
Thank you so much, Lorraine. I’ll have a quiet blast 😀
? Happiest of birthdays, Henneke ?
Thank you for all the wisdom, learning and compassion you bring into the world each week.
I appreciate your writing so much. I refer people to your Inner Critic post often, because it chimes in my head almost every week.
That post (and now this one) echo in my mind alongside the phrase “we are all just walking each other home” (from Anne Lammott, I think). They remind me to have compassion for myself & others.
Thanks again ?
??The ‘walking each other home’ quote is from Ram Dass, but I found it via Anne Lammott ?
Thank you so much for your birthday wishes, Alison. And thank you for being you and for your always encouraging presence.
As you’re one of Henrietta’s godmothers, I’m glad to have now introduced 5-year old Henrietta to you. I may draw her more often! 🙂
And I love that quote. I’ll remember it.
Dear Henneke, Happy, Happy Birthday for Friday. I wish you the most splendid day. Thank you so much for all your wonderful posts which have buoyed me up over the last few difficult years. I know my writing suffers badly when I refuse to take time for myself but I think I am getting better at self care/compassion as time goes by, and, am at last, understanding less truly can be more!
Thank you so much for your birthday wishes, Gerri, and for taking the time to comment. Learning to care for ourselves is surprisingly hard, isn’t it? I try to remind myself that I’m getting a little better at it every year. Take care ❤️
Happy birthday, Henneke! This post was wonderful. Glad I’m not the only one who struggles to love and forgive myself. Here’s to many more years chockfull of compassion 🙂
Thank you for your birthday wishes, Emtea. You’re definitely not alone—so many of us find it hard to love and forgive ourselves. ❤️
Beautiful, it brought a tear in my eyes – pure love and compassion I think. :-). Thank you for your story again.
I wish you a very happy birthday Friday. Gefeliciteerd alvast!
Writing this brought a tear or two to my eyes, too. It was quite therapeutic, and I’ll feel better because of it. Thank you for understanding. ❤️
Awwww. This post is just what I need today, and what I’ve been needing for the past year. It’s tough. For everyone. I cannot wait to try this technique out – thinking of myself when I was a small kid, and showing myself love. Thank you for the article and Happiest of all birthdays, Henneke! You have helped so many of us. I am truly grateful.
I hope you learn to love little Naomi! Sending you a hug ❤️
Fine thoughts, Henneke.
Yes, compassion isn’t widely practised these days. And self-compassion even less so. It was good to hear your thoughts on this subject because our world today is filled with so many negatives. It’s no surprise then that more people than ever are filled with despair.
Your thoughts shared here are a tonic for those who have few other avenues in which to turn. Thanks again.
Thank you for adding your fine thoughts, Paul. It’s so true that the world is filled with so much despair. If only our leaders could be a little more compassionate, too!
A beautiful post Henneke, all the best for this milestone celebration.
Thank you so much, Roger ❤️
Happy birthday my dear Henneke! Your posts keep getting better and better with age 😉
I send you a huge hug full of oxytocin all the way from Argentina! Enjoy your time off, Marisa
Thank you so much, Marisa. Getting older does have quite some positive sides 😉
Sending a huge hug back to Argentina ❤️
I love this post. I was nodding along the way through. As i learn what real self love is, I pray I get to extend that hug to the little girl in me who thinks she has nothing to add to this blog world. Maybe with a little rest and patience, she too can bounce back as gracefully and clumsly as she so chooses. Rest well Henneke, i look forward to your return
I like how you allow the little girl in you to bounce back as gracefully or as clumsily as she chooses. I’m sending her a hug ❤️
Henneke,
Happy birthday to you. May this new decade usher in breath of new strength and vigour to you.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful but vulnerable side of you with us. I guess we are all vulnerable. We all can be critical and self judgmental as if the criticism from the world is not enough already.
Keep practicing self love and compassion as I learn to do same here always.
Peace, Love and Light to you my friend
Thank you for your birthday wishes and for your lovely comment, Elijah. I’m looking forward to a new decade! Peace and love to you, too. ❤️
Querida Henneke, me encantan tus publicaciones, he aprendido mucho de ti, más allá de tus trucos para escribir con seducción, más allá de tu consejos de marketing… Gracias a este post, me recuerdas que está bien si me quiero un poco más cada día, aunque cometa errores. Te mando un gran abrazo desde la tierra del tequila, en México. ¡Feliz cumpleaños!
Muchas gracias, Pedro. Sending a big hug back across the big pond ❤️
Happy Birthday, my friend.
I love you as a little girl and a 50-year old woman.
May your coming years bring you even more joy writing, playing, drawing, loving, and “doing” less and less (while finding happiness more and more.) May your health continue to improve.
Thank you, my friend. I love you just the way you are ❤️ Sending a big hug across the big pond.
Yes, an accident can be a great tool. Or is that not the way you handle it? Or the way it handles you?
I took a 3 ton roof on top of me in 2015 and still coming out the other side. Life is good. Just don’t be hard on your self. When I got out of hospital a cup of coffee was the lift, now it is 5 kg.
Yes life is good and mine is better. Thanks for sharing.
Kind regards to your thoughtful self. That is what gets you there.
I’m glad to hear you’re getting better, Alo, and I agree that when we can get to the other side of a breakdown or crisis, we can become a better version of ourselves.
Happy Birthday and have a wonderful vacation.
I too struggle to love that little kid, I was an oddball, was bullied from age 5-12 and even though I am 51 I am still struggling to love that little kid, love myself. What was your process to understand and love her?
I’m so sorry you were bullied as a kid. That’s so tough. No kid should have to go through that.
I’ve been learning to meditate for a few years now, and one of the main practices I’ve learned is to simply sit for a set time and be receptive to what happens—to observe the thoughts in my mind and feelings in my body, no matter whether those are pleasant or unpleasant. I’ve extended this practice to thinking of myself as a little girl, and observing what thoughts, emotions and feelings that brings up. Some people learn meditation by themselves, but I’ve found it quite a tough practice and have been grateful to get support from my yoga/meditation teacher.
I believe that some psychotherapists use similar (non-meditative) techniques to explore relationships with yourself as a child and understand how it affects you in later life. I’ve found it useful that the yoga/meditation approach helps connect body and mind, so I can feel safer in my body.
If I’ve learned one thing, then it’s that we have an amazing capability to heal, both from physical and mental pain.
Sending you a hug ❤️
FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!! Pásala Super Bien… Bienvenida a los 50´s Me Gustan Mucho Tus Publicaciones. UN ABRAZO DESDE MÉXICO.
Muchas gracias, Benjamin. Sending a hug back across the big pond!
Thank you for vulnerably sharing yourself, Henneke!
In my experience, compassionate self-mentoring has been a lifelong journey filled with many lessons and numerous rewards. Along the way, I learned a couple of wonderful phrases at the Zen monastery where I trained that have helped me, especially with work:
1. Do more than you think you can and less than you think you should.
2. And above all, be kinder to yourself than you think you should be.
Have a gloriously peaceful celebration!
In lovingkindness,
Alex
Yes, I’ve also realized that self-love is a lifelong journey in which there’s much to discover and learn.
I love the two phrases, too, especially the second one. As a recovering workaholic, I may need to be careful with the first. I can do less in quantity than I think I can but I can still challenge myself to aim higher (in quality). If I keep that in mind, I think it works, too 🙂
Enjoy your time off and happy birthday!! May I ask what graphic software you use to create the animated person?
Thank you, Richard. I draw with old-fashioned ink and colored pencils, then scan my drawings.
Great post. Life gets better after 50 – really.
Words to live by –
Let it come
Let it be
Let it go
I think your inner child knows this
Yes, so true—my inner child know it.
And I do believe life will get better after 50. I’m happy to leave my 40s behind 🙂
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Patricia ❤️
Happy birthday for Friday, Henneke!
I look forward to receiving your emails and this one couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you!
Thank you, Andrew. I’m glad that this came at just the right time.
Happy birthday!
Have a wonderful vacation
Thank you, Dani
A really timely and interesting read. I need to follow your advice.
Happy birthday and thank you x
Thank you so much, Tessa ❤️
Wow! Henneke I love your writing and I think this is one of the best posts you’ve ever written! It struck SO CLOSE to home for me! As an entrepreneur who’s struggled with a multitude of health issues for the past 10 years I’ve often doubted myself and beat myself up about what I’ve achieved and haven’t achieved yet but I’ve learned that only leads to more insecurity and heartache. I too have had to take some much needed time off recently and have found it difficult to transition but your post has been a wonderful timely reminder that working less is okay and can still create value. And to be kinder and more loving to myself and to get back in touch with my inner child. THANK YOU!
In a kind of weird way, I’ve realized that my inner child is much wiser than me. She wants to stop when she’s tired. She wants to play and have fun—she understands how important play is to well being. When she’s happy, she’s happy, and when she’s sad, she’s sad. She doesn’t push away her feelings. Learning to listen to her makes my life a lot better.
Thank you for stopping by, Sasha. Sending you health, strength and calmness ❤️
Happy anniversary of the day you were born!
Or what most people refer to as your birthday. You really only get one of those in your life if you think about it.
Try celebrating not just the day, but having a “birth-week” or even “birth-month.”
Works wonders.
Going for a hike or bike or ski works as a great self-gift.
But not as workout. Simply to be outside. Pause often.
Sit. With a view. Chill.
Maybe pull out and enjoy a beverage. Write. Draw.
No pressure, just pleasure.
Wishing you the best.
Have you been reading my mind? We’re actually going away for a couple of weeks … cycling a bit, pausing often, chilling, reading, eating, drinking a glass of wine, and lots of rest. No pressure, just seeing what happens each day.
Thank you for your well wishes, Phil. ❤️
I love this whole section and sending it on to my 50 something daughter who writes all day on her computer for
work & sometimes feels guilty when she “disobeys”.
I acknowledge and honor u even more. EK
I salute your daughter for disobeying sometimes. We all need to take care of ourselves first and foremost.
Thank you for stopping by! ❤️
Oh Henneke, you are so wonderful. I too was in an accident, same story, so I really do have compassion for you.
I love how odd you are. When I teach we have weirdness day where we discuss all that is weird about each individual and we celebrate it.
Also just know even if you were not even doing marketing I would still want to read what you have to say. It’s your odd ball self that is a blessing. Rest. Recoup. Anyone with a heart will wait for you.
Best, Carol
What a wonderful comment. Thank you, Carol. From now on I’ll celebrate my weirdness, too! ❤️
This was so unexpected.
Today’s UK news says optimists have longer lives
So keep happy and have a great break.
Looking foward to more of your optimism
I also read that headline about optimists having longer lives. I’m glad my optimism is returning 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Chris.
Thank you!
❤️
You do excellent work – always enjoy your insights.
The 50’s are the absolute best years for a woman – take time to enjoy each moment.
I’m actually quite happy to finish my 40s (goodbye!) and start my 50s 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Mark. I appreciate it.
Henneke, many thanks for the great inspiration to cut working hours when it has to be done. Really inspiring … as usual from you. Now I will try to be a bit gentle with myself when it’s necessary especially with my writing and business. Happy Birthday.
Thank you for your birthday wishes, Daniel. And yes, be gentle with yourself. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story and the meditation. It’s a clever lesson. And it’s a great drawing of you and teddy with a heartwarming letter. I wish you a happy 50th birthday and that the next 50 will be peaceful, happy and full of love <3 xx Tine
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Tine. ❤️ I’m glad you liked the letter and drawing with the teddy. I still have my favorite teddy who’s as old as I am!
Henneke, great post and very on point for me. I had no clue we were born on the same day, though I’ll be turning 67. However, I loved turning 50 and so will you. God Bless my Sister
How lovely to be sharing my birthday with you. Happy birthday, my friend! ❤️
Happy B-Day, Henneke! Wish you all the love, happiness, and calmness. You’ve got absolutely nothing to blame yourself for. You are an amazingly beautiful copy creator. And you’ve got real talent. That’s what I understood when I read your article 3 years ago. I’m your avid reader (and an occasional commenter) since then. Just be happy. And have a good rest. That’s what we are here for;)
Thank you so much, Helen. I feel thankful to have such lovely readers as you. I appreciate you ❤️
Henneke
I can try to understand where you come from. I have been reading and following you for a while now and have gained a lot, but not enough. I thought I had several times but I was wrong. You have been my constant and my guiding light. I am sorry you have to go through all this pain but I am secretly glad because your pain has increased your knowledge and inducement to be better. Congratulations on reaching 50. I am 85 and trying to start a new business. I can understand your troubles because I am experiencing a similar kind of pain. Take the time off, if that is what you must do, but please remember you have an audience waiting for your return and yearning for more knowledge
I’m hoping that if I reach 85 with my frail body, I’m still have to guts to run a business, too. Kudos to you, Bob. I’m feeling humbled to have been your guiding light.
And I’ll remember you’re waiting for more 🙂
Kind and somewhat intriguing words, Bob. ‘Trying to start a new business at 85’! That’s something. No doubt Henneke will be inspired by your encouraging thoughts.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful insight with us, Henneke. The message of learning to love yourself is so important. From now on I will hug my inner child more often as well. And I love your drawing of your mini-Henneke.
Enjoy your last weeks of summer.
I’m also learning how important it is to love ourselves, and also that we can always learn to love ourselves a little more. We have to keep practicing.
I hope you’ll enjoy the last weeks of summer, too. Thank you for your lovely comment, Charlotte.
I needed to hear that today! Thank you!!! Wishing you full recovery and lots of joy. Hugs!
Hugs back to you, Nata ❤️
Well done, you!
I also think the little me was pretty obnoxious. May be that is what made us write?
I don’t really know what made me want to write. The urge to write only came later in life. It wasn’t something I thought about when I was young. Apart from one travel journal, I’ve never even kept a journal. So, I’m odd!
I expect you are, then 😉
Yep, that’s pretty sure. I’m claiming my oddness now as a badge of honor (rather than a flaw) 😉
I think that is called maturity.
Hi Henneke,
I’m sorry to hear about your accident. I had a terrible snow mobile accident about 4 years ago and it took me offline for months. I could not even type with my broken wrist and arm among other things. (I was in a panic, at first!)
I’ve come back but since working full time at my business I am trying to slow down the pace of 14-18 hour days to just 10-12 hour days with time to go for a walk in between. (With most weekends off now.)
I am just getting over pneumonia and I believe my immune system was low due to not enough of that “self-care”, “self-love” syndrome.
Being busy can make us feel good but only in a certain way and not fully….I’ve always said you can’t do anything without your health and it’s so true!
Do take care Henneke!
Yes, so true. Being busy and working on adrenaline can mask what’s really going on in our bodies. Please take good care of yourself, Lisa! ❤️
Henneke, Happy 50th Birthday! I love your writing! I love your work! I love being inspired by you! Here’s a thousand hugzz for your all the contributions you’ve made to thousands of your fans. Me included :-).
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the hugs. ❤️
Hello Henneke, this is a lovely post. Thanks for sharing and have a lovely break. Have you ever thought about writing children’s books? I’m already signed up to your e-mails by the way.
I’d love to create an illustrated book one day! Thank you for stopping by, Sharon. I appreciate it. ❤️
Dear Henneke,
The best thing you can do for your readers is taking care of yourself, so we can enjoy your wise and caring advice about writing for as long as you want to share it. I hope you’ll have a great birthday with lots of love and warmth. We’ll be here when you’re ready to come back, for sure.
Thank you so much for your birthday wishes, Susanna. And I’ll try to remember this: “The best thing you can do for your readers is taking care of yourself, so we can enjoy your wise and caring advice about writing for as long as you want to share it.”
Thank you ❤️
How absolutely wonderful, Henneke. Thank you for sharing. I don’t know your physical pain but totally understand the struggle with self-love. Praying for healing. Lee ❤️
Maybe that struggle for self-love is what makes us all human?
Thank you for being you. ❤️