Howard prays for comments.
He’s written an in-depth post with his best productivity tips for solopreneurs.
He knows his readers will find it super-useful. They can implement his tips straightaway and feel less stressed. And which solopreneur doesn’t dream about cutting down stress?
Howard is proud of his post, and sends an email to his 3,000-strong list. As usual, people open his email, click through to his post, and some share it on LinkedIn.
But comments?
Crickets.
Why does Howard’s blog get a lot of traffic, but no comments?
What’s up?
Howard’s readers feel he’s hiding behind his knowledge. He’s a faceless blogger. They don’t know who he is.
He should get more personal in his writing, so readers feel like commenting and starting a conversation with him.
But Howard feels resistance. He doesn’t want to share his private life online.
Sound familiar?
When I started blogging, I hid myself, too
My friend Kitty kept encouraging me to write more personal content.
I knew Kitty was right.
Because tips are a little boring.
When people come to your blog for practical advice only, they can easily swap you for another blogger. You become a commodity. In the eyes of your readers, you’re an information-sharer, not a three-dimensional human being.
In contrast, when readers feel they know you and start seeing you as a friend, they come back because they want to “hear” your voice. They want to join a conversation with you.
When I started blogging, I was nervous about sharing personal stories.
And I was confused.
Who’d be interested in me? Wasn’t my life too boring? Did I want to publish personal stuff online so everyone could read it?
I resisted Kitty’s advice for months. I didn’t feel comfortable writing about myself.
But eventually, one day, I picked up the courage to share a personal story. This was the first time I wrote about myself:
I’m quite rebellious.
Just ask my Dad.
He’ll tell you I’ve always done my own thing.
For instance, rather than study something useful like Medicine or Maths, I left home on my 17th to study Chinese.
And then, unhappy with what my lecturers at uni told me, I took a break (before I graduated!) to travel for five months in China.
In February 1990, I left with a one-way ticket. Email or mobile phones weren’t available yet; and the only way to contact me was to post a letter to one of four post office addresses.
So, don’t try to tell me what to do. I’ve always done things my way.
But web conventions are different. Even for me.
As usability expert Steve Krug suggests: Don’t make people think.
Your web visitors are passing by at high speed, so make things obvious.
(…)
Creativity is good. Of course! But it can make websites pretty useless if people want to find something quickly.
So sometimes even rebels have to accept conventions exist for a good reason.
Slowly, I became a little braver in sharing personal stories …
I even shared my embarrassing story of puking on a flight as a tour leader. In that post, I compared tour leading with content marketing—a way to guide readers through an unknown land.
I’d finally arrived as blogger.
I wasn’t an anonymous information-sharer anymore. Because nobody else could write the same crazy story.
I had grasped how to use personal stories as analogies:
Small gestures of generosity
It’s easy to think of big gestures. A big launch. Your best-ever ebook. A guest post on a major blog.
But small things can make a massive difference, too.
For instance: Giving 14 tourists a pair of cheap chopsticks. Buying a huge watermelon to share. Such cheap treats create a feel-good atmosphere.
In a digital world, it’s easy to give away stuff and build a loyal audience. What does it cost you to share your expertise?
To tell personal stories, you don’t have to share your most intimate or most embarrassing anecdotes.
Instead, look for miniature stories to illustrate your business tips.
How to create an analogy with a personal story
The most common way to create an analogy is to first decide what you want to explain to your reader, and then explore connections with unrelated topics.
But with personal stories, you may find yourself starting at the opposite end—you think about a personal story, and then try to connect it to a business lesson.
Which parts of your life are you happy to talk about? About raising your kids? Travel adventures? Hobbies? Sports?
Decide on a topic (or an anecdote) and then explore connections with your business expertise. Be sure to compare things at the same level—a thing to a thing, a person to a person, a process to a process, a skill to a skill.
For instance, you can compare:
- Arriving at a website with how you arrived at a hotel (here)
- A chef’s mission with a blog purpose (here)
- Website goofs with road blocks you’ve experienced (here)
When dreaming up metaphors, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be creative.
You know how you get your best ideas under the shower?
This is because your mind continues to be creative and to work on solving problems, even when you don’t realize this.
In her book “A Mind for Numbers,” Barbara Oakley talks about the difference between focused and diffuse-mode thinking:
[T]he focused mode is used to concentrate on something that’s already tightly connected in your mind, often because you are familiar and comfortable with the underlying concepts.
And:
Diffuse-mode thinking is what happens when you relax your attention and just let your mind wander. This relaxation can allow different areas of the brain to hook up and return valuable insights. Unlike focused mode, the diffuse mode seems less affiliated with any one area of the brain—you can think of it as being “diffused” through the brain. Diffuse-mode insights often flow from preliminary thinking that’s been done in the focused mode.
This last point is important: First you have to concentrate hard about trying to solve a problem or find a creative analogy, and then you have to let go and let your mind make new connections. I get my best ideas when out on a walk, or while cooking. My mind wanders and plays.
When you push your brain too hard to come up with an analogy, you become less creative. So, stop thinking so deeply, and do some household chores instead. 😉
How to captivate your readers in a competitive world
Our audiences are distracted.
Their cat may be ill. They might have had a fight with their partner. And their kids are struggling at school.
Plus emails, Facebook updates, and 24-hour news all compete for their attention. In a maelstrom of content, we have to work hard to stand out and captivate attention.
So being useful isn’t enough. That may work for big companies with big budgets—they can buy their audience’s attention.
But as solo-flyers, we have to be different. We have to be ourselves, and get readers to connect with us. Personally.
That’s how we make friends with our readers.
And that’s why readers come back for more.
PS Thank you to B2B writer Jonathan Tee for the book recommendation.
One of my problems is that I do not remember stuff from my past. Or maybe I could remember under hypnosis or something if I knew what I was looking for. And I struggle with connecting anything non-business to a business topic… Thanks for the tips!
You don’t need to dig up the past; you can also tell stories that happened last week, or this week. Or stories that you’ve read about. Or client stories. Once you start paying attention, you’ll encounter more stories than you’d think.
You can connect personal stories to business by thinking about the lessons the story taught you, and then see if there’s a similar lesson in business, too.
Wow! Great Advice. I’ve been stuck trying to figure out how to start a project, and you just gave me the right tip.
Love ya, Baby.
Great! Happy writing, Wally 🙂
Thanks, Henneke.
I struggle with creating metaphors. My mind goes blank. So thanks for explaining your process and giving me a path to follow. I just need to start practicing!
Sometimes you just have to give yourself a little bit of time. A metaphor doesn’t always pop into my mind when I try to force it but then unexpectedly while washing the dishing later on or out on a walk, I get an idea.
And you’re right about practice. That helps, too!
Thanks, Henneke! I am just starting blogging, and this advice hits the spot with me perfectly. Although I am not ready yet to start sharing my stories… 🙂
That’s okay. Take it step by step. I didn’t start telling personal stories when I just started out. I learned so over time.
Happy blogging, Natalie, and thank you for stopping by 🙂
Your writing style and the illustrations are very appealing.
Grateful to learn?
Thank you so much, Smita. ?
Thanks for the great advice. There are loads of analogies that would apply to planning a wedding and running a wedding business. Hadn’t thought of using analogies in that way.
Yep, your options are endless! Thank you for stopping by, Rachael.
“When people come to your blog for practical advice only, they can easily swap you for another blogger. You become a commodity. In the eyes of your readers, you’re an information-sharer, not a three-dimensional human being. ”
That has to be the realest thing I’ve read in a long while.
Hats off to you, Henneke.
P.S. I find it hard to believe that you never had a personable voice. I refuse to believe it actually.
It’s true. We all start at zero, you know. With no voice, and no audience. And somewhere, along the way, when we keep writing and try to write well, we learn what resonates with our audience and our voice appears as if by magic.
You always teach me something new and better. Like today I realized how boring I make my articles when I forcefully try to come up with stories and words.
Do you think it is better to take 10 minute break after every 30 minutes of writing or take a break when you brain gives up?
I take a break of five minutes after every 25 minutes of writing. It’s easier to keep my energy up when I take regular short breaks. This is based on the “pomodoro technique.” I always set a timer, so I don’t work for too long.
When you take a break before you’ve depleted your energy and when you still know what you want to write next, then starting again is easier. It helps me overcome procrastination.
Thanks for the tips, Henneke.
Love the information in this post. This statement: “Instead, look for tiny stories to illustrate your business tips.” is tremendously helpful as an actionable piece of advice. It makes it much easier to implement for those of us who would rather face down a charging bull then write about ourselves. Thanks for illustrating this with great examples and taking away the “overwhelm”.
I was the same, Faye … I’d rather face down a charging bull, too. Well, almost. I hated the idea of writing about myself and I didn’t think I had anything interesting to say about myself. I really thought my life was too boring.
Thank you for your lovely comment. Happy blogging!
Hello Henneke,
This bit in the comments speaks loudly to me—
“Henneke says:
March 28, 2017 at 7:23 pm
“because well I think my life is too boring”
This is exactly what I thought, too. I thought I should have experienced amazing adventures before I was permitted to share something personal online. But often the beauty is in the small everyday stories.”
I have definitely struggled with the notion that stories and examples need to be “grande” before they can be shared or retold…and yet when I think about it, I’m most deeply touched and connect to writers who turn the “small everyday stories” into something beautiful. Afterall, it is where most of us live, most of the time. The grande being the icing on the cupcake…which if I eat too much of the icing, I get sick instead of having a good time.
Thank you for so beautifully modeling how to create an enchanting and helpful blog for your enchanted followers.
“yet when I think about it, I’m most deeply touched and connect to writers who turn the “small everyday stories” into something beautiful”
Yes, this is so true. And “grande” stories may sound fascinating, but how often do they truly inspire you to take action? Big adventures might be great for reading, but they often make me think I couldn’t do the same thing.
Thank you for your lovely comment, Leslie. I appreciate it!
This is so true, and one of the reasons I like your blog over the 1000’s of other writing blogs in the world. YOU are the blog, and your personality shines through.
I’ve been analyzing dozens of blogs to refine my own plans and one thing has become crystal clear – blog posts that could be written by anybody are so boring. The blog is like vanilla ice cream. Structurally good, needed for certain types of information, but nothing about it stands out. If we talk about a delicious peach cobbler we ate last night, who’s going to even mention the vanilla ice cream. It’s just there.
But, it takes so much bravery to allow personality to come through. Some people will not like us when we are real. That’s pretty scary.
On a practical note: I created a document with a list of life stories. When I ran out of memories I flipped through our photo albums and came up with dozens more. Then I used the story topics to brainstorm analogies that come out of my life experiences. These 2 lists are proving to be a treasure chest as I write.
Wow, you sound amazingly organized. What a great idea to create a treasure chest you can dive into when you’re writing. Brilliant!
I also like your suggestion about vanilla ice cream … it’s a little bland compared to a peach cobbler or even an apple crumble. You’re making me hungry now 🙂
And thank you for your kind words on my blog. It’s crazy that I get guest post submissions almost daily – these people clearly haven’t read my blog.
Hi Henneke,
I’ve just recently started sharing my story when someone asks me, “What do you do?” Instead of saying, “I’m a construction manager”, I tell them about the pivotal moment when I started my business and how it changed my life.
Once they hear my story, they see the real me and the source of the passion behind why I do what I do. And several of them have similar stories which creates a strong bond between us.
Sure, telling stories about our passions, why we do what we do, or the obstacles we have overcome makes us vulnerable. And that can feel uncomfortable. But it also connects us to others as humans and gives our lives meaning.
I love your idea, Bill … to tell people your story rather than just “I’m a construction manager.” I might steal your suggestion next time I’m asked the question. May I?
Good to see you again! 🙂
Yes! You can “steal” my idea. You have such an incredible story to tell, Henneke.
For me, it is kind of therapeutic when I add personal stories to my posts. It is different than being on stage. If you are in front of an audience, the personal stories can be nerve racking. Writing it on a blog….no sweat!
Yes, I can find it therapeutic, too; it depends a bit on the topic.
Oh my word! So many comments. This is the first of your blog posts that I’ve read and found it massively interesting. I’m just restarting my blog after a break and this is great advice. Coincidentally I’d decided two days ago to introduce a more personal, fun side of myself to my business blog so this only goes to enforce that decision. Thank you!
Good luck with restarting your blog, Helen. It sounds like you’re on the right track with introducing a more personal, fun side of yourself. Happy blogging!
Henneke,
Yours is the only blog I ever read word-for-word— and sometimes twice over. Your guidance is invaluable and, well, your writing is enchanting.
Wow. What a lovely comment, Christy. Thank you.
Christy! I agree! Thank you for posting this. Henneke is “bomb diggity!” And Christy, you are a Queen, well, just because! xo
You’re making me blush, Vanessa! Thanks for your compliment 😀
I feel like I’m a voyeuristic follower of your blog. Looking on, admiring, awed, enlightened, amused, but not willing to get involved. But today I feel inspired to engage. You see, trying to find ones voice, without even sharing that with the wider world can be daunting enough, without adding it to a blog that other’s may or may not read. Nevertheless, your tip has given new impetus and I plan to go forthwith into the blogger sphere with this new inspiration. Thanks again Henneke for sharing so freely what you have learnt through trial and error.
BTW: I follow you because of who you are AND because your ideas are so down to earth and realistic and just damn great advice. So one without the other will never work as well as both together.
What a lovely comment, Máire. I’m glad this post encouraged you to engage!
By the way, while I love it when people comment, I have no problem with voyeurism (as you call it) or lurking. I know not everyone likes to or has time to comment. Every reader is welcome, also quiet, shy or busy readers.
There’s no doubt that sharing the whole multi-dimensional human beings we are with our audiences is the key to engagement. Once I started doing it myself on my social media, I’ve noticed a huge difference in comments and shares! Thank you for putting it in such beautiful words with this post!
Thank you, Antoniya. That’s a good point on social media… it makes me think. I am a lot more personal on my blog and keep my social media more business-like. My blog feels more like a supportive community than social media. But perhaps it’s time to be a bit braver on social media, too. Thank you for the nudge.
You’re welcome! Yes, our blogs feel like home, and social media–like the whole world out there. But the thing is that as soon as you start being YOU out there, you start creating a community of people who deeply care and engage with you as well. It’s beautiful!
You’re absolutely right. I will try it. Thank you.
Hi Henneke,
Excellent post. Especially for me because it touched a raw nerve. While writing a post so many personal anecdotes come to my mind….but I never share them. May be I’ll start getting more personal now….introducing more of my personality into my posts.
Thanks for reminding me just once more that even in online world I need to come across as a 3-D person, not a robot.
Love You for the way you write.
Shweta.
Thank you for your lovely compliment, Shweta.
I hope you’ll enjoy introducing more personal anecdotes in your blog posts, and that you’ll readers like it, too. Happy writing!
I love love love this post. No really. I was just thinking about ways to connect better with my readers and here you are with this wonderful insight.
I love the shower thing. This happens any time we are by flowing water, like the ocean, a waterfall or a rainstorm. It kicks up negative ions which in turn have an effect on the brain by increasing alpha waves. Alpha waves are also known as the calming brain waves. There are many ways to achieve this – time in nature, walks, meditation, drinking tea, etc. But they all enhance relaxation and increase the creativity of our mind.
I’m going to use these strategies you mentioned in my next blog post. Thank you!
Yes, yes, you make a good point about relaxation being good for creativity. I guess that’s a slightly different point of view than diffuse-mode of thinking, but could be part of it as well. Too much stress blocks creativity.
Thank you so much for comment, Mary Ann. Let me know how you get on with implementing these tips?
P.P.S. This is the only blog I come back to later to read through the comment section 🙂
That’s a big compliment to everyone commenting here! I feel lucky with such a supportive community 🙂
Quick question, Henneke — How do I upload a photo?
And a thought for a blog post, if you have not already addressed it, is this: The Pros and Cons of Posting or Not Posting a Photo
You have to set up a Gravatar profile (http://en.gravatar.com/). Once you’ve registered and uploaded your photo, your photo will show on any comment on most blogs. It displays your photo also on “old” comments – it matches it by email address, so be sure to use the same email address (or link your various email addresses to your linked account).
A blog post should always have an image – either a photo or a drawing.
Oops, I might have misunderstood your point about photos – did you mean the photo with the comment? In that case, I’d say post a photo because people like interacting with people, and communication feels more natural when we see a face.
Henneke:
Perfect.
Thanks.
Sue-Ann
p.s. I love that I always look forward to your posts, like a note from a friend but all the while sharing relevant goodies for skyrocketing our (your loyal friends, er, I mean readers) biz writing techniques! Grateful.
That’s such a lovely compliment. Thank you, Sue-Ann.
I’m lucky with readers like you!
Very timely post, Henneke. Thank you.
I’ve been in an online Premium Packages development course for the last couple of months and just came back from a 3-day meeting of participants. I went thinking my packages were around custom resumes that helped high-five-figure mid-career professionals passed over for promotion present themselves as Top Candidates and win interviews.
Hanging out with a bunch of eclectic healers and open-minded business people, I did some writing for a couple of them to help them explain what they do, in non-esoteric words. One particularly insightful woman, blown away with what I did for her, told me my focus should be to help healers “Make WuWu Concrete.” That resonated strongly with me, and life changes.
I look forward to finding ideas here.
Thank you.
Don –
Welcome, Don 🙂
It sounds like you had a great bunch of people in your workshop!
And I like their idea of making WuWu (Woo Woo?) concrete. It sounds like an interesting niche 🙂
Hi Henneke,
Thank you for the original post.
I read it with extra interest because of the issue of an overloaded brain. I was pushing myself so hard that at the end of last week I felt like a failure. I felt that my brain was locked, unable to make any new connections. I couldn’t write and had no ideas. I thought that was the end.
My friends told me to stay away from the Mac for a while, do something different. So I did. I switched my brain into a diffuse mode (though I didn’t know it yet). And it helped!
I always liked your personal story – such a lovely touch to your writing. I’m just not sure if it’s always enough to get comments. Do you think it will work in every niche?
Hi Irina
Yes, I think it’ll work in most niches but sharing personal stories isn’t enough to gain comments, you also need a critical mass of readers and you need a brave person to comment first. Less than 1% of readers will comment on a post (perhaps on average, even far fewer than that). Most people are too busy, feel too shy or perhaps just don’t know what to write in a comment.
It also seems that commenting becomes less popular. Even a big blog like Copyblogger gets relatively few comments these days.
In my experience, both tiredness and stress kill creativity. It sounds like your friends were right – you needed a break. Take good care of yourself!
This was a great post for me to read at this moment. I have been going back and forth on adding my personality into my blog posts. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I was writing the same things everyone else does, and took a break. I had views on my posts, but not one single comment. I wanted people to connect with me more. Your post helps me go forward and start writing again, adding my quirks and flairs and occasional swears. 🙂 Thanks!
“my quirks and flairs and occasional swears”
I like that! I hope you’ll soon start writing again.
Also, keep in mind that few people comment. Probably less than 1% of people reading a post. I get more visitors these days than in the beginning, but that doesn’t really translate in more comments.
Henneke–Totally love this! I agree personal stories pull your readers in like nothing else. Happy marketing, Heidi Cohen -Actionable Marketing Guide
Thank you, Heidi. Happy writing! 🙂
Thanks, Henneke!
I’ve known for a long time that my readers love a good story. Now I know why. And that helps a lot.
I’ve also known the shower-insight phenomenon, all too well. (Did you know there are notebooks with paper that does not dissolve in water, made for those who must work in the rain? Check forestry supply sources. 🙂 ) And now, I also know why that happens. And why my teen son could not finish his calculus until after nearly falling asleep.
So. My content is aimed at family problems: difficult husband, bad mother-in-law, mutinous children, etc. I could share A LOT from my life, but I want to keep my family! There has to be a work-around for this, but I cannot figure it out
I thought of sharing only in a private facebook page, but what good would that do for my blog stats?
I also thought of ending each post with, “Something few people know about my blog: If no one comments here, google thinks you don’t like me.” –not begging, much, eh?
I’ve wanted to share so many things, and have done so in private messages, when I was sure the tales were safe, but in public I want to honor the dignity of my family members…
Hi Katharine – yes, that’s a tricky situation. I don’t feel comfortable writing about family either – I’d say you can only do that with their permission.
If you’d like to share a personal story can you write it for instance about the mistakes you’ve made in your communication with family so it’s less about them and more about you?
By the way, I’ve not seen any indication that asking for a comment helps boost the number of comments. Most people don’t take the time to comment, feel too shy to comment or just simply don’t know what to write in their comment. I’m lucky with readers like you!
Hi Henneke,
Great post. I’ll be honest, I don’t trust bloggers who don’t use personal stories because they lack a human, vulnerable element. Sure, when you become more vulnerable you’ll probably alienate some readers who don’t agree with your views/lifestyle/values. But there will also be readers who become die-hard fans when you get more personal. I think the trade-off is worth it. If you only swim in the shallow end of the pool and never take any risks, other people won’t be willing to take a risk on your business.
Best,
Eric
Yes, so true. That’s a good point. If there’s no personality, then we don’t really know who they are, so we can’t really trust them. We first want to know people before we like and trust them.
And swimming in the shallow end of the pool is rather boring compared to the wide open sea 🙂
Good to see you again, Eric!
Henneke,
Your timing of this coincides with an article I recently posted about a simple way to step out of your comfort zone and overcome fears. In it I share a story how – as an introvert – I tackled a “tough” work task that involved “confronting” strangers. Not only is it an example of writing about oneself – it also offers concrete steps to help people struggling with this. I hope it helps someone.
To overcome my personal blogging fears, I also used Patrick Bet-David’s talk on YouTube as inspiration to “go for it”. You can find it searching for “How to Self-Promote As an Entrepreneur”. I highly recommend it.
“Confronting strangers” – that sounds scary to me!
Thank you for the tip on Patrick Bet-David. I’ll check it out 🙂
Wow. WOW! Thank you, Henneke for:
1. A whole bouquet of personal stories- I totally enjoyed them
2. Sharing a brilliant advice about making it obvious for my reader – so following it.
3. A step by step tutorial on how to write personal stories.
It’s so generous of you.
What a lovely comment. Thank you so much, Lexie. And happy storytelling!
I have been struggling with this a lot lately. Torn between not being too personal to being like a robot. This is very encouraging to give it all have! I know my personal stories are where I shine. Thank you!
Go for the stories where you shine!
(But don’t forget to be helpful to your readers, too)
Happy writing, Alaina! Thank you for stopping by.
Hi Henneke,
Great post. Personal stories help me connect with the writer’s blog no matter I am reading them for the first time.
Being different and sharing your personal story can surely build your tribe online consisting of readers who care for you and who relate to your version of the world.
Personally, I have never shared a personal story on my site or any of my guest posts because well I think my life is too boring. 🙁 Nothing much to write about nothing anyone can relate to. 😛
Anyways, in case I have anything worth sharing these tips will be spot on then.
Thanks for the post.
-Swadhin
“because well I think my life is too boring”
This is exactly what I thought, too. I thought I should have experienced amazing adventures before I was permitted to share something personal online. But often the beauty is in the small everyday stories.
You don’t have to get super-personal. Have you never written about your experience with blogging?
Hi Henneke!
I missed those early tour guide posts! I love the picture of you as a 21 year old tour guide ingénue :D.
I don’t share a lot about myself, I must admit.
If I had to say why, these two things spring to mind:
– most of my posts are tutorials to some extent, so it feels like they don’t lend themselves to anecdotes. (But even as I type that I realise that anecdotes and stories make everything more interesting.)
– I can’t seem to dredge up many memories. (Do you keep a list of anecdotes, or have you just got better at thinking of them?)
Thanks again for the linked post about content marketing, I really enjoyed it, too.
“Be sure to compare things at the same level—a thing to a thing, a person to a person, a process to a process, a skill to a skill.”
I forgot to mention — this section was very useful.
When I share a personal story, I don’t do it as replacement of the tutorial but in addition to it. You don’t have to find amazing stories to share. Sometimes the beauty lies in the ordinary stories – many of us feel our lives are too boring to share much.
I don’t keep a list of memories. When I started sharing more personal anecdotes, I started with things I had experienced long ago. Somehow that felt safer. Later on, I found that recent experiences sometimes sparked the idea for a post (like when I’d been on holidays and arrived at a hotel that was closed or when I’d been on a cookery course and was impressed by the chef’s enthusiasm). These stories are quite short in the posts, but add just a dash of personality before sharing the tips.
Try to start small – tiny stories about when you experimented with a drawing technique, what sparked your wish to be more creative or what you find challenging would be interesting!
Ha, I need not comment, I see 😉
This is a personal post in itself – and you have now officially gone on to writing meta-blogs!
Ha yes! It’s like Russian dolls. You start reading a story, and then another story pops out 🙂
Thank you for all your support in the past years!
This is great stuff, but I have a bit of a problem as I am trying to learn how to sell products not tips. It’s not a good fit to the business, yet I would love to ‘get’ the telling of personal stories in that context, rather than the services context. Thank you for starting some thinking, but I am still struggling….
An ecommerce blog can also share tips; this is a great way to raise awareness about your company and create a loyal audience. For instance, a furniture company can share design tips, a bike store, can share maintenance tips or stories about cycling adventures; a productivity app can share productivity tips.
Good morning, Amanda
Here’s a thought I invite you to think about: Stories about the successes people have had with your product, AND WHAT YOUR ROLE WAS IN HELPING THEM BE SUCCESSFUL
Something more than just “I had the same problem, tried the product and no longer have the problem.” That’s boring and not personable.
BUT let’s say you are the mother of a toddler who is exploring her world and finds and wants to eat every single dust bunny she can find. She swallowed some on three occasions and they made her sick enough to have to see the doctor, who prescribed an emetic that tasted so bad it would gag a maggot. ~~~ The doctor took you to task each time, and each visit became more painful for you and for your daughter. And to add insult to injury, not only did she charge you an arm and a leg and insurance denied the visits because your policy does not cover consumption of dust bunnies, she also lectured you so hard that you felt like you were six years old again and hearing that old “you gotta” lecture again from your mother. ~~~ You keep a clean house, but damn! the dust bunnies are everywhere and they are winning the war. ~~~ Clearly, she is better at picking them up than the vacuum. And you want that to stop. ~~~ AT LAST! A new product JUST came on the market and it works even better than Swiffer. Knowing an opportunity when you see one, you bought a distributorship in your area and now are set to sell your product.
So instead of just a blah “This is the greatest dust bunny sucker-upper in the world” notice saying how well it works, how about posting that story, along with a photo of you, your daughter, the product and a handful of dust bunnies (in your hand, not hers) that it picked up. I bet people would respond positively.
I’m at the other end of the age and sex scale from a young mother, so I can’t know how a young mother would feel, but my daughter-in-law is dedicated to cleanliness and has a 20-month old, very flexible and inquisitive little princess who finds everything and likes to sample what she finds. I am 100% certain this totally made-up story would resonate with her and cause her to whip out a card in less than 2.01 seconds.
And a real easy 4-step process to write your story is this: 1) WHAT I did? 2) HOW I did it? 3) WHY I did it? and 4) QUANTIFIED RESULTS of what I did?
That’s the format I follow when I help mid-career professionals passed over for promotion win interviews as Top Candidates. It’s straightforward and it works.
I hope it helps you.
Best regards,
Don –
I’m with Gill, I’m running out of ways to say “brilliant”. And to Gills’s point, there’s hope for us all that your distinctive voice was once hidden, because it sure shines now. We all need to thank Kitty! Great point about small acts of generosity. And a wonderfully inspiring post!
Yes, there’s hope for all of us. A voice becomes more distinctive when we write more. Probably also when we experiment more and become a little more courageous. And reading helps, too!
Kitty was quite persistent 🙂
Hi Henneke!
Was just wondering: Is there anyway to test the efficacy of personal stories in blog posts? Would better response in the form of comments/social shares be a good metric to track?
The reason I ask is, I’m a fan of your writing (both from Copyblogger and here). And you’re the opposite of ‘bland’. So, I know you are right.
But I’m extremely shy, and wonder if it would work with my readers. I should test that, right? How?
Geez, Satyajeet, if you love someone privately, do you also want to measure the benefits first? Just be a personable guy! You will find out soon enough how your readers respond. (Sorry if I spoke out of turn here, Henneke).
🙂 Kitty, don’t get me wrong.
All I meant was: would personal stories work for every audience (some topics may be more amenable to stories), for every blogger (for example, Jon Morrow is a great storyteller. But he has the personality and skill for that. I may not)?
I’ve tried personal stories in the past. It’s been mostly crickets. On the other hand, something like “Show and Tell” (about which Henneke has written in the past) does work for me.
Hence, my question on testing.
Cheers!
O. Yes. Right. Sorry.
If you write about foreclosing or foreign affairs, that might not be your best way to go 😉
And you write about… the stockmarket? Ha! I honestly did not check that before I wrote the former sentence. I will now leave this up to Henneke.. too tricky for me 😉
Yes, I think for some topics it’s easier than for others, but I also think it’s possible to introduce some personality in any type of post. We all have personality, and we all can share stories whether we’re shy or not.
I don’t know how you tried out personal stories before, but one thing to keep in mind is that if your posts are normally very practical, you don’t want to make the personal post less practical. The personal story is an addition, not a replacement of your tips.
Instead of turning the whole post into a personal post, consider just adding a personal statement or two that fit in the flow of the text. You also don’t want it to be a big change in your tone of voice, more a natural evolution. You could also try non-personal metaphors first.
I find testing results tricky. You don’t always know what impact your posts have. Comments and shares are only part of the picture – how do you measure how strong your connection is with readers?
I’m pretty sure the people who’ve been reading my posts for 4+ years do so because they like me rather than because they like my tips (which they probably also do). But how can I prove that?
Thank you, Henneke.
Yes, I was not sure about how to test bonding/connection too…that’s the reason I asked.
I actually committed this mistake you pointed out:
“The personal story is an addition, not a replacement of your tips. Instead of turning the whole post into a personal post, consider just adding a personal statement or two that fit in the flow of the text. You also don’t want it to be a big change in your tone of voice, more a natural evolution.”
Now I know exactly why my ‘story’ based posts flop.
The way I’ll *test* this is by incorporating what you suggest and then observing the amount/quality of engagement with my readers.
Thanks a ton!
Let me know how you get on, Satyajeet?
Definitely, Henneke! 🙂
It’s interesting to read that someone with one of the most distinctive personalities and writing style on the web once was reluctant to let her personality shine.
A great (and probably unintended) reminder that when we look up to someone wishing to achieve what they’ve achieved, we see them the way they are today, disregarding their struggles and the long way they had to walk to get there.
I’m seriously running out of different ways to say “I love this post” 🙂 This one is especially important, as I know many bloggers who have – purposefully or not – became tips & tricks producing machines with no personality. I think most of them are simply afraid to get personal, also not being aware that this way works better than simply churning out useful content.
I’ll make sure to let as many people read this as possible.
P.S. You should absolutely consider creating a separate section on your blog for writers’ emotional support / defeating writing fears and label the “door” to it with BIG SHINY LETTERS. I’m sure it will be a success!
Yes, it’s been a long journey 😉
I write quite differently now from the way I wrote initially. I wouldn’t have been able to write a post like this one a couple of years ago!
And you’re right about the big door with the shiny letters … I’ve started working on this idea of “categorizing” my posts and sending readers towards the posts most useful to them, but I’m not quite there yet.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Gill. I appreciate you cheering me on!
This is a really good point about any type of content. I always thought of myself as being quite normal but it was when I shared my opinions, my passions and daily anecdotes when people started to listen to me. People are looking for a personal voice and a real personality.
However, this can be very very dangerous. If you are stupid, superficial or mean, people would get it with a glimpse. I stopped following many influencers when I realized how shallow their personalities were. In those cases, exposing yourself may not be the best option.
Actually I think it’s helpful when a blogger showcases their true colors. Makes it easier to decide whether they’re worthy of my time or not. There’s plenty of advice out there – it’s my choice to pick who I want to get it from. Like Henneke.
Hi Melinda, thanks for reading my comment. I mean that some bloggers who are not so personal should still be hidden if they have not so kind personalities. As a reader, I obviously prefer when bloggers are transparent, as I can quickly see if they are worth my time. But as a blogger, being too confident with our personal stories can be quite risky if you are not such a nice person. Haven’t you been disappointed with some influencers?
I sometimes wonder whether these people who come across as unkind are really that nasty, or whether they’re just pretending?
The internet encourages some people to be more hateful than they are. I also find that the internet (and probably society as a whole) encourages a lot of people to be overconfident and to brag about their achievements (how much money they make!) rather than share their vulnerabilities. As a reader, I’m less interested in the achievements, and more interested in hearing about the struggle how to get there.
And yes, I’m disappointed by a lot of influencers!
You are right, maybe the online culture encourages people to brag about the wrong things. I was just pointing out that some of these people who already have big communities are not very personal, and they may well not be it in the future as they will lose part of their followers like me. For instance, an angel investor who I respected a lot, told a personal story about his wife on an article which made crystal clear that he was sexist. I bet many women like me unfollowed him. My point is that sharing personal things can also damage your image harshly (I may never listen to this man again). So sometimes one needs to be careful, especially when not having such a kind personality.
As a reader, I obviously prefer transparency. But as a writer, this makes me think of what things and anecdotes I should keep to myself, as it can be very dangerous. This is a topic I really enjoy talking about because personal branding is so interesting and complicated in my opinion. Whatever we produce as creative people talks a lot about ourselves.
Ouch, yes, that’s a dangerous personal story to share and to alienate female readers. I totally agree with you.