Has this happened to you?
You’re driving to work. The usual journey. On the highway.
You’re listening to the radio and thinking about the day ahead.
30 miles later you suddenly realize you’re at your exit. You haven’t noticed the other exits you passed. You’ve barely heard what they’re talking about on the radio. As if your car has been on autopilot.
The same thing happens with your readers. Their minds wander off. They’re lulled to sleep.
In his book Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, psychologist Dr Daniel Goleman suggests that a reader’s mind typically wanders off 20% to 40% of the time.
So, how can you keep your readers engaged?
Surprise refocuses attention
When reading, our brains try predicting what comes next.
When those predictions prove right, a text feels rather boring. However, when the predictions turn out wrong, readers are jolted awake and stay more engaged.
Moreover, as readers, we like surprises. Jean-Louis Dessalles, a professor in cognitive science, asked people to read a series of miniature stories. Each story was cut off before the end, and readers were asked which ending they’d prefer. The most unexpected endings were preferred.
Surprise happens on a more granular level, too. Research by Katherine DeLong and others at the University of California showed that we predict what words are to come before reading them. Even a surprising word combination or an unexpected metaphor can pique readers’ interest and keep them engaged.
So, below follow 4 ways to use surprise in your writing and keep your readers captivated …
1. Break through habitual word choice
As writers, we tend to follow well-worn word patterns.
Fresh bread smells delicious, old bread is stale. Hikers roam, shoppers stroll.
How can we break through such patterns?
Change the scene. Borrow a word from a completely different area. For instance, the following sentence is rather meh:
To inject some surprise, change the scene. For instance, if you’d discuss food rather than a book, which words would you use?
The bread was stale. The steak was chewy. The vegetables were bland.
You could use those words to describe the boring book:
Here’s another example of a meh sentence:
If you’d talk about food rather than a blog post, which words would you use?
The cake was scrumptious. It was lipsmackingly good. I devoured it. I gobbled it up.
So, you could change the sentence about the blog post to:
To break through habitual word patterns, don’t take editing too seriously. Instead, nurture a sense of play. See what happens if you pick a different word.
I like borrowing words from cooking but you can try other areas, too, such as sports, theater, traveling, or anything else you know a lot about.
Have fun!
How to hotwire your words (and make your writing sparkle) >>
2. Make up words
You can inject even more fun into your word choice by making up new words or expressions.
For instance, Shakespeare has invented hundreds of words including about 300 words starting with un-, such as unaware, uncomfortable, undress, unearthly, and unreal. (Are there any other unwords we can make up?)
Shakespeare has also made up expressions including: I’ve not slept a wink, in my heart of hearts, the world is my oyster, and it’s Greek to me.
Weird, isn’t it?
Now all those expressions feel almost cliché, and they’re not likely to wake up readers. Language evolves.
But we can use Shakespeare’s trick, and make up our own expressions. For instance, Apple’s copywriters make up new words regularly:
New camera. New design. Newphoria.
And:
Focus‑pocus, magical new portraits.
Sometimes, they just change the spelling:
Phantastic Phototonic photos.
And:
Wonderfull.
Apple tends to make small adjustments to existing words so it’s not too hard to guess their meaning: Euphoria becomes newphoria (euphoria about something new); hocus-pocus becomes focus-pocus (the magic of zoom).
Be careful. Too many unusual words can make a text difficult to read. Go for just a sprinkling.
3. Create an unexpected analogy
You can also jolt your readers awake with vivid, fresh metaphors.
For instance, Raymond Chandler makes his readers pay attention by using creative, sometimes crazy similes. This is from Farewell, My Lovely:
Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
And from The Long Good-Bye:
He was a guy who talked with commas, like a heavy novel.
And:
An hour crawled by like a sick cockroach.
Vivid imagery is not just for fiction writers. For instance, Mark Manson is a self-help author. His most famous blog post is The Art of Not Giving a Fuck (he turned it into a bestselling book). In the middle of his blog post, a weird expression turns up:
Now, while not giving a fuck may seem simple on the surface, it’s a whole new bag of burritos under the hood.
A bag of burritos? What does that even mean?
Some metaphors and analogies are overused. For instance: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. The devil is in the details. She’s as busy as a bee. Such faded imagery doesn’t wake up your reader.
To keep your readers awake, be a little more creative. Make up your own metaphors and weird expressions.
How to use the persuasive power of metaphors >>
4. Set up a pattern, then break it
Comedians are experts at unexpected turns, and one trick they use is the comic triple.
Threes form a pattern. So, if you want to surprise your readers, create the pattern and then surprise with an unexpected third element.
In his book The Art of Witty Banter, Patrick King gives the following examples:
You know what my favorite part about coffee is? The energy boost, the aroma, and the yellowing effect on your teeth.
And from Mark Twain:
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
And from comedian Chris Rock:
There are only 3 things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
(Uh, oh.)
Remember Mark Manson’s burritos?
In an article about relationships, he mentions 5 things where you should look for compatibility in life partners: 1. Life priorities (Where to you see yourself in 5 years?); 2. Preferences (What do you enjoy doing on a day off?); 3. Fundamental beliefs (Is one of you anti-vac and the other pro?); 4. Values (Who do you want to be?).
And then he breaks the pattern with a surprising 5th area to look for compatibility:
Favorite flavor of burrito – It all comes back to burritos. Always.
Burritos! Of course!
To make up your own comic triple, consider something you love, define two reasons why you love it plus one downside: I love writing because I love playing with words; I like improving my thinking; and I can also practice for the procrastination championships.
An unexpected twist can add a sense of fun, even in an article about a serious topic.
Make writing fun
If you feel bored by what you’re writing, rest assured: Your readers will get bored, too.
So, try to inject a sense of fun.
Play with your words. Try a different writing technique.
Your readers will sense you’ve enjoyed yourself while writing.
And that sense of joy is contagious.
Happy writing!
Recommended reading on engaging your readers:
How to write like a human
How to write in a conversational tone
How to write for impact: 8 science-backed tips
Absolutely love tactic number 4, using a pattern of three and an odd one–didn’t know about the comic triple either!
Love your little teachings Henneke. They’re precious to me.
Hellos from soggy Basel. 🖤
That’s such a fun technique, and it’s much easier to use than I would have thought.
We finally got some sunshine here, so I’ll send a few bright rays to Basel. 🖤
Oh yes, please! It’s been so dark and gloomy here…and I have a Frozen Shoulder. Meh…
Thanks for the sunshine. ☀️
Great tricks! I’ve never tried number two either but it seems playful and fun, will give it a go in the New York guide (being bled as we speak!).
I tend to rely on #1 and #3 but I agree: Making up words would be fun to try, too.
And yay for moving ahead with your New York guide!
Another sublime post, Henneke! Let’s hope AI bots don’t get hold of your superlicious attention-getting teaching.
As it gets increasingly difficult to differentiate human from AI writing, your tips are excellent for humanising our content. If the bots start using these tricks, we’re all sunk!
Some pundits’ advice to sprinkle our content with deliberate typos—AI bots don’t make mistakes—doesn’t sit well with me at all. I love making up words, metaphors and tongue-in-cheek snarkinisms.
I don’t like the idea of putting deliberate typos in my writing either. I think finding your own voice helps to compete with AI writing. But also: I always try to leave a piece of myself in my writing. If anyone could have written something, then AI can write it, too. If a piece includes some personal observations or anecdotes, then only I can have written it. Write with your heart.
Good to see you again, Sue. Thank you for stopping by.
I’ve always thought the word, “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” was made up and, indeed, When I looked it up on both Merriam-Webster and Oxford English, neither had a clue.
It does appear, however, in Cambridge:
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/supercalifragilisticexpialidocious . . .
🙂
And now the challenge to use supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in a conversation today! 🙂
Great article Henneke. Thank you.
Very writevational, or penergizing. Well I’ll just keep practicing till the bread rises.
This could be fun – provoking.
Be well…
Nice!
Thank you, Paul. I see you’re having fun already 🙂
I was skeptical at first, but your post totally changed my perspective on keeping readers captivated. Thanks for sharing these creative tips!
That’s a lovely compliment, Steffie. Thank you.
Oh, Henneke! I did laugh: This book was so chewy, I choked. That got me started, and a laughed even more as I continued, until I was coughing, a leftover symptom from a past cold.
I think I will need to read this very often. I love writing humor, but I also feel like too much can become tiresome. Perhaps that comes from growing up in a family that enjoyed a lot of humor, such as whacko puns and silly rhymes, even at the table: “Mutter, Mutter, pass the butter.” And so on.
However, I still love corny humor and this twist you’ve so clearly shown, has given me new fertilizer for my funny-farm!
Thanks SO much!
Yes, that’s a good point. It can be too much. I don’t know how to establish when too much is too much. I think we can only follow our gut feeling.
I’m glad I made you laugh! <3
Inspired by your post today, Henneke!
Hearing the taste of personal banter between my husband and his variety of electronics is weirdly satisfying, even comforting. I feel a kinship. We are adventurers trying to keep up in the mazes modern coders lay out before us. Like Tobacco sauce, after the first shocking slurprise, appreciation seeps across our tongue and lips as our brains memorize each correct sequence of interactions.
I took courage from your post and made up my own word! 😉
Slurprise. I love it!
This was fantastic, as usual. I hadn’t seen you in my inbox for a while and thought I could live without your tips so I clicked to come unsubscribe (no offense!) and found this to be so incredibly useful. So, a faithful subscriber I remain.
I’m glad you’re back, Candice. I appreciate it.
Jessifer,
that’s what I ‘ve taken to calling her
Should she stay or should she go now?
Go? Definitely not now. Way too cold out. Wind chill’s like -27 Fahrenheit.
Probably why the kitty was crying at my dark door at 5:30 a.m.
I couldn’t decide what to call her.
Jessica or Jennifer?
I made up a name.As I took her inside into the warm fold of my world.
This was before I was treated to this awesome post that’s a pretty damn good way to look at writing, and life.
So much good, no make that great here.
Thanks,
Fil
So lovely to meet Jessifer. And how nice of you to let her inside your warm world.
-27 Fahrenheit sounds very very cold. My bones are shivering just thinking about it.
Stay warm, my friend!
Again thanks for the delicious post to savour on a brutally cold January morning.
When I made up the lost kitty’s name I didn’t realize I was actually channeling my inner Shakespeare.
I love it when you channel your inner Shakespeare!
This is so helpful. Especially in the age of AI that we are moving into. I was trying to figure out why texts that I generate in AI are so good yet so boring. Is it because AI is all about pattern recognition ? Anyway regardless, it’s an invitation to do the unusual and take analogies, metaphors and sprinkle in words that wouldn’t normally be there. thank you. I try to do that in my yoga classes, so it’s not just a boring “put your hand on your hip” but rather place your hand like it can penetrate through skin, and feel something become light and airy inside…
Yeah, I do wonder with AI … How can we develop our own authentic voice if we don’t practice writing, if we don’t play with language, if we don’t try things out?
You can let how you teach your yoga classes inspire your writing, and vice versa, too.
Hello Henneke.
As usual, your blog posts are full of inspiration. (It’s still amazing that you offer them for free.) One thing I appreciate is that you highlight Apple’s copywriters as real word innovators. No wonder your post about Apple’s copy was so well-received. A question for you. I am very interested in the formation of new words. So a couple of months ago, I started searching and ended up on dictionary.com and signed up for their daily newsletter. But I was so disappointed. It’s so boooooring and conventional. Do you know if there’s any other site where I can find more witty and fun expressions?
Again. Many thanks
Pär
Thank you for your kind words, Pär. And yeah, I do wonder sometimes whether I’m giving away too much for free. But as long as enough people buy my courses it still works for me. And it also feels good to be generous.
I’ve found Merriam Webster’s Instagram account pretty good. Sometimes fun, sometimes serious.
For lots of witty words, you may want to search on google for words invented by Dr. Seuss. He was really good at coming up with new, funny words.
Less funny, but also made up words: “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” by John Koenig. Koenig makes up phrases for feelings not commonly described. But the feelings are all sad so maybe not quite what you’re looking for.
Maybe others who are reading this have something to add. I’d be interested in further suggestions, too!
“Sufferin ‘ Suckotash!”
Sylvester the Cat
“ I tawt I saw a puddytat. I did , I did see a puddytat!”
-Tweety Bird
Thanks Henneke. A reminder to think differently.
Great examples! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Henneke, this is a really insightful post.
I’ve heard about using the element of surprise in comedy but didn’t really think about it in terms of writing.
This post reminds me of a copywriter (can’t remember his name now) who made references to bananas on his hire me page. Now, I understand what he was doing.
And that points to a benefit of using surprise. It makes content more memorable. It’s probably been over a year since I saw the hire me page.
Thanks for sharing. I’ll cook and serve this idea in my next content piece.
Yes, that’s a good point. Weird things are memorable, too.
And that’s especially true if those weird things are sensory (like the banana creates a clear image in your mind).
Thank you for stopping by, Samuel. I appreciate it.
Very interesting to change the usual choice of words by picking from other areas (food, music, sport, etc.).
(you have already said it in other blog posts… but the seed germinated today) 😀
I love when you give examples.
I also liked about “breaking a pattern”.
This example made me laugh: “The energy boost, the aroma and the yellowing effect on the teeth. »
In fact, we have to play with positive and negative words to surprise readers.
In the example above, it is “positive – positive – negative”.
Thanks Henneke!
Yes, positive-positive-negative is an easy way to make the comic triple work. It’s fun to play with 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed this, Alexandra. Thank you for stopping by again. I appreciate it.
i feel so bad that each time i get your mail, i tell myself: “i’ll go through it later” and that’s always the end. but today, i said NO i must read this immediately, and i am so glad i did.
thank you for this great tips, I’m applying them already ❤
I’m glad you clicked to read this, Kemfon. And even happier to know you were glad to do so. Happy writing!
A movie line I’ll never forget (from the Coen brothers, who else): “You boys are dumber than a bag o’ hammers!”
Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll be applying some of these, next newsletter.
Nice one. Thank you for sharing, Will. And have fun writing your next newsletter!