Heather thought she’d found the perfect tone for her writing.
She knew it … this article would be so good, that her readers would feel touched and inspired.
She felt excited. She had finally found her voice, and was writing with passion, power, and pizzazz. Yay!
She brewed a cup of evening tea. Then decided to go for a whiskey. She felt so elated with her success. Any minor editing could wait until the next day.
But, the next day …
Heather feels disappointed. Her article doesn’t sound that great. Where has the energy gone? Why does her writing feel so robotic?
How can she power up her words and add sparkle to her writing?
How can she be more human?
We’ve all been there. We think our writing is good, but then get disappointed when we re-read a draft.
But don’t despair. A few easy tricks (yes, really!) exist to change the tone of your writing, so you can engage and inspire your readers.
Shall I explain?
An example of a human writing voice
MailChimp, a company in marketing automation, shows us how to write with a human voice. In its style guide, MailChimp describes its voice as:
MailChimp’s voice is human. It’s familiar, friendly, and straightforward. Our priority is explaining our products and helping our users get their work done so they can get on with their lives. We want to educate people without patronizing or confusing them.
This is a good starting point for writing like a real human being: The priority is always your readers—to help them rather than impress them with your knowledge.
But MailChimp’s real trick is to vary the tone of its writing. Its writers first think about their reader and their mood, and then vary their writing style depending on that mood. This is what makes them more human.
For instance, here’s an example message from MailChimp—when a reader has successfully sent a campaign:
Fine piece of work! You deserve a raise.
And this is an example of a failure message:
We’re experiencing a problem at one of our data centers. Our engineers are on the case, and will have things back to normal shortly.
Feels different, right?
While a voice remains constant, a writing tone can vary—enthusiastic because your readers completed a task, or compassionate because readers feel frustrated when something went wrong.
It’s like with a band. The Rolling Stones sing a ballad like Angie differently from a rock song like Satisfaction. But despite the difference, their style is still recognizable—they still sound like The Rolling Stones.
By varying the tone in your writing you connect with each of your readers. You celebrate their achievements with them. You commiserate with their failures. You offer empathy for their struggles. And you offer encouragement when they’re a little hesitant.
Shall I show you how?
1. Edit out a corporate voice
The problem with a lot of content is that it feels like it’s produced by companies for a faceless crowd.
To put your human voice back into your writing, start by skipping the gobbledygook and replace it with everyday language.
Gobbledygook-filled writing:
To those of you who experienced problems, we apologize for the inconvenience.
More human writing:
I’m sorry if you’ve experienced problems due to our datacenter failure.
Note the difference in tone between “To those of you who …” vs “If you’ve experienced …” and the difference between “we apologize for the inconvenience” vs “I’m sorry.”
When you re-read your content, ask yourself: Would you use these words when talking to a person? Are you addressing one person directly?
How to eliminate gobbledygook from your writing
2. Try a more conversational tone
Want to truly engage each reader?
Try adding a question.
Have you noticed how I’ve sprinkled questions over this blog post?
This is a deliberate editing trick.
When your reader is gliding through your text on auto-pilot, a question slows him briefly down as his brain starts thinking about the answer.
Questions not only make readers pay attention to your ideas, they also give them the feeling you’re having a conversation—as if you’re drinking a cup of tea (or a whiskey!) together.
Simple, eh?
How to write conversationally
3. A touch of compassion
Are your readers feeling frustrated?
Wanna put a virtual arm around their shoulders?
Consider using the inclusive “we” so readers feel you’re in it together. Show them they’re not the only people suffering and that they don’t have to feel ashamed of themselves.
Quite distanced:
When you constantly tell a reader what she’s doing wrong, she starts feeling insecure. She may even feel she’s the only one in the world who still can’t do it. You also make her feel you’re superior. You’re great, and she’s stupid.
Is that how you want to write?
A warmer version:
Feeling frustrated by the tone of your writing?
We’ve all been there.
We write as if our life depends on it. We feel we’ve finally found our voice. But then, when we read back our draft, the writing sounds clunky. Where has our voice gone? Why do we sound so distanced? What has gone wrong?
Especially when writing about a sensitive topic or when your readers may feel lonely, depressed or frustrated, a dash of compassion helps you connect.
How to write with warmth and compassion
4. A spark of energy
Do your words waltz or jive?
Rhythm influences us more than we think.
For instance, when we work out at the gym, our brains synchronize with the rhythm of the music, too. An upbeat song makes us move faster. A dreamy love song slows us down.
In the same way, your readers experience the rhythm of your writing. Even when they don’t read your text aloud, they still hear their inner speech.
Want to add a spark of energy, and electrify your readers with your words? Try upping your rhythm with shorter sentences.
More sedate:
A slow cadence with long sentences allows readers to glide through your writing. If you want to be more energetic, up your tempo with shorter sentences so your writing sounds snappier.
More energetic:
A fast cadence with a mix of short and long sentences allows readers to hippety-hop through your words.
So, up your tempo. With staccato sentences. Quick. And snappy.
How to make your words swing and swirl
5. Poke readers into action
Want to truly inspire your readers?
Want them to jump up to implement your advice?
Powerful writing inspires readers to take action. A good sales page encourages readers to click and buy. Strong social media updates make people click to read more. And authoritative blog posts motivate readers to implement your tips.
To poke readers into action, use the imperative form of a verb. The imperative form is like a command:
Just do it
Run!
Bookmark this blog post
Start your free course
Weak inspiration:
You don’t need to despair when your draft text sounds weak.
Instead, you may start editing, and you replace gobbledygook with everyday language.
If you want to communicate your ideas with power, you can be a little bossy because that’s when people will listen to you.
Sometimes, you need to remove the word “you” and use the imperative form to create a powerful nudge and spark action:
Don’t despair when your draft text sounds weak.
Instead, start editing. Replace gobbledygook with everyday language. And communicate your ideas with power.
Come on. Be bossy.
Because that’s when people will listen to you.
How to power up your words
Good writers are changemakers
Want to inspire action?
Start with understanding your readers’ fears, frustrations, hesitations, and secret wishes.
Learn when to be compassionate, and when to poke readers into action. Understand when to be bossy, and when to ask questions instead.
Vary your tone depending on the reader’s mood.
Because that’s when you truly engage, touch, and inspire your readers.
That’s how you spark action, and change people’s lives.
Recommended reading on tone and voice in writing:
How word choice shapes your voice
How punctuation shapes your voice
4 examples of strong writing voices
I’ve been reading your posts for the past months. And now, I’m glad to say that I’ve found my voice in writing. Thanks, Henneke.
That’s great. Happy writing, Deniz! And thank you for letting me know 🙂
Hi Henneke, great article – love that it is not filled with blabla but readable and to the point, really helpful!
Do you have tips regarding 1st vs 2nd person?
When writing something related to self-help, is it OK to write one paragraph in 1st person (I/we) to build rapport, and then in the next switch to “you” where I want readers to take action? So throughout the document there would be a back and forth as chapters would start with “we” an then switch to “you”
Would love to have your opinion on that.
This is uncanny as I’ve started writing a blog post about this exact topic. Hopefully, I’ll publish it very very soon. But in short: yes, you can switch.
When I use “we” it’s an inclusive “we.” I mean: you and I together—both readers and me as writer, all of us. I’m not a fan of “we at this company” but in some cases that may work, too. It usually backfires when a one-person company uses “we” to portray themselves as a bigger company with a team that doesn’t exist.
I am trying to write a school magazine article however I just can’t find the words to show enthusiasm and energy, any tips?
It’s hard to fake enthusiasm, so pick a topic you do feel enthusiastic about or interview someone who is enthusiastic.
Awesome read Henneke…:)…Every line of your blog has a takeaway message. Comprehensive, just what I was looking for.
I am going to read all your other articles.
Thank you, Devi. Happy reading! 🙂
Hi Henneke
Relevant writing is your hallmark I feel. Your posts packed up together in a book form can be of immense value for school children. That way they will be spared of the unlearning in their future life. ?
Thank you.
Krishna S das
Thank you, Krishna. That is a lovely compliment! 🙂
Thank you
You’re welcome. I’m glad you found it useful, Ann. Happy writing!
So inspiring and doable, thanks, Henneke.
Thank you, Joan. Happy writing!
Amazingly written, like always…
Thank you, Kulsoom 🙂
Genius! I love your writing tone. Very helpful, really educative. I want more. Thanks.
Thank you. You’ll find lots more tips on my site 😉
Just lovely
Thank you, Kruthi 🙂
Brilliant article! I love that these ‘rules’ can be applied to writing in other languages too. Will remember them for my next blog post. 🙂
Thank you, Lena. I appreciate your compliment. Happy writing! 🙂
I love you! 🙂
Always helpful and relevant information.
You’re truly an expert on the subject of engaging the reader, writing styles, and the like.
Thanks for all you do!
What a lovely compliment! Thank you so much, KC. I appreciate your comment 🙂
Hello Henneke,
You have made a great article. It is necessary to provide a warm touch to content for our readers. I found it very useful and I think anyone will find it worthy if they are fond of writing. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Thank you.
Yes, the world needs more warm touches. Thank you, Neil. I’m glad you found this useful.
Loved the read. Great information I will incorporate into my writing.
Happy writing, Deborah!
Thanks, Henneke.
Such a great post thanks, for sharing the lovely post. using the word “we” I like this point whenever we are sounding like “we” it makes the reader to the part of the family.
Yes, I like how you put that: making the reader feel part of the family.
Thank you for stopping by, Anusha!
I love how I can scan your posts and leave feeling as if I’ve struck gold! Several gold nuggets, that is!
Edit, converse, passion, energy and poke! E-C-P-E-P! ha
Thanks again, Henneke. 🙂
I hadn’t even looked at the acronym ECPEP!
Thank you for stopping by again, Penelope. I appreciate it 🙂
This is pure gold! Sometimes I feel that the content I read online is written by lawyers. It sounds like the people writing it are defending a thesis or supporting a bill. While it is still important to carefully choose your words, many choose them so they are not held accountable for some reason. They take a neutral position as if to say “these are the facts, we have no opinion”. I’d rather have my business handled by a person who isn’t afraid to speak their mind, rather than a robot. I already hate AIs, and it’s because of robotic humans!
Hi Stefan — yes, I exactly know what you mean a lot of content is lawyerly, boring or robotic. I find human content far more interesting!
Thank you for stopping by to leave a comment.
Great article Henneke! Loved your ‘tone’ throughout as well as all of the tips. I guess it is time to change some things up. I look forward to trying some of your tips.
Thanks,
Tammy
I’m glad you enjoyed this one, Tammy. Happy writing!
Some great tips Henneke. I’m going to start implementing these in my writing.
Great! Happy writing, Sheverley, and thank you for stopping by.
Hey Henneke,
I love the way you set the tempo in your sentences – making your words waltz, jive and hippety-hop to the rhythm 🙂 Shall we dance?
Super appreciate your clarity on the difference between style and tone of voice. Your unique style is, well, unique to you but the tone of voice is all about engaging and connecting with your audience’s needs and emotions. Love it. Cheers!
Yes, let’s dance! What type of dance do you fancy?
Tango. Start with must-learn foundation rules of classic steps, struts, crosses, hooks and turns.
Practise. As you become more proficient, you build the confidence to improvise and add your unique spin and style. Follow the beat of the Tango – Slow. Slow. Quick-Quick. Slow.
Feels and sounds like the rhythm of one of your sentences. Let’s tango Henneke 🙂
Let’s tango. You can teach me! 🙂
I absolutely loved the examples. They illustrated your article perfectly. Now I want to read more of your posts.
Thank you, Deborah. I worked hard to get the examples right!
Hey Henneke,
Awesome tips as always! It is becoming more and more important that we offer a warm touch to our readers.
With too much outsourcing and too much automation, things online are getting too cold – and it is not good for business.
A little bit of warmth added to writing can make a lot of difference.
Thanks for the wonderful tips and thanks for bringing this up.
Cheers,
Jane.
Yes, I like your point, Jane. We all crave a human touch, especially in this world full of automation!
Thank you for adding your thoughts.
This blog is very engaging and certainly sends a strong message about writing with power to touch the reader’s emotions. Great ideas!
I’m glad you liked it, Eugene!
Great Post that I enjoyed reading. Has really inspired me to to get out there and sprinkle a little of your magic on a new website.
Cheers, Jeff.
That sounds good, Jeff. A little magic dust makes a big difference 🙂
Great post Henneke! I’m really impressed. I learned a lot from your post. To be honest, I’ve been using some of your recommended techniques since 2014. It came from my inner voice. And I’m really happy to know that what I’ve been doing are the best practices taught by you. I still need to learn a lot of other techniques and will be revisiting your blog for other great tips.
I’m glad that your inner voice is guiding you to engage with your audience, Rufat. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke – there’s a novel idea, writing like a human. Of course, you are right 🙂
Gary
You’re right—there’s nothing novel in this post, but still sometimes we need to hear the same thing over and over again 🙂 Thank you for stopping by!
Wow! Thank you so much for this, Henneke. I’m glad I took some time out of my Sunday morning to read this.
Thank you for making this less fussier.
I’m glad you enjoyed this, Temitope. Thank you for reading and for leaving your comment. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke,
I have been following your blog from June of this year. And, it is simply fantastic, especially the way you write in your personal voice, adding glittery sentences here and there.
I don’t usually comment. And, I am commenting here just to tell you that your way of writing and telling us about how we need to write just like we speak [the use of comma and stops] has greatly improved my writing.
Thanks and keep posting these epic articles.
What a lovely compliment! I’m happy to read that my tips have help you improve your writing. It makes my heart sing.
Thank you for stopping by, Sharjeel. I appreciate it.
Mam, it’s tremendous and it’s very helpful for me and those who needs it. Thanks a lot….
I’m glad you’ve found it helpful. Thank you, Vinod.
There’s a free prize every time I get your email – and I can’t wait to burst off that link and appear on your website to get the full deal.
As they say, I’m a lucky bastard.
Thank you, Prabu. I’m glad you’re enjoying my content! 🙂
I appreciate your comment. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke,
A lovely reminder that working on my website is needed.
Have been so busy writing books and publishing my fourth and last one this year, but working ahead for January.
Wishing you a lovely holiday season and a great start to 2018.
in my books, ignore the pun, this is a number that spells business, Joy, but also accidents ( to be prevented) and money matters (to be controlled). this may help. Love and Blessings Annamarie
Your fourth book already? You’re a writing and publishing machine, Annamarie. Congratulations!
Wishing you a lovely holiday season, too.
Hi Henneke
Another great post. I’ve started to use more questions in my writing too. Your word choice never ceases to amaze me. Originality, skill and craft rolled into one. Thank you for an Inspiring read.
Thank you so much, Poovanesh, for your lovely compliment. I’ve always been fascinated by words. I’m not sure why, but that’s probably why some unusual choices sneak into my blog posts. 🙂
Such a great read, thanks! I love the point about using questions. That’s going to be something I do more of in the future.
Great! Adding a couple of questions can make a big difference to the tone of an article.
Thank you for commenting, Douglas. I appreciate it. 🙂
Well, this was a full post! Thanks so much for all this help, Henneke. Seems you can read my mind! 🙂
I’ll be back to this one over and over as I work on editing old posts and drawing them to the forefront.
Thanks again!
Yes, I felt like I crammed a lot into this post, but I really want to show the differences tiny editing changes can make to the tone of a piece of writing.
Happy editing, Katharine! 🙂
Whiskey? Going for the hard stuff now! 😉 The Rolling Stones songs are a brilliant example of ‘voice’ versus ‘tone’. Very different songs, yet Stones all the way.
But now I’ll be humming… “I can’t get no…” all day! 😀
Yeah, all that tea drinking … 😉
Funnily enough, I have Angie stuck in my mind (since Sunday already). These songs really stick!
Hi Henneke,
Today I’m one of the first to read your new article. And I’m glad I did because it has inspired me to take a different approach to my new article. “When you constantly tell a reader what she’s doing wrong, she starts feeling insecure.” Exactly! Especially when you try to write an inspirational article for the X-mas season.
And I also noticed your new expression: hippety-hop! A total stranger to me that I would like to befriend 🙂 It sounds so funny.
Thank you for your work!
I think it’s all a careful balance. Pointing out mistakes is okay, but over time it gets tiring, so you also want to include an uplifting message from time to time.
I love the rhythm and sound of hippety-hop, too. It does sound fun, doesn’t it? 🙂
Thank you for stopping by, Irina!
Thanks, Henneke. A great reminder that I need to include some bling in my writing.
Yes, just a touch of bling! 🙂
Hi Henneke, I put everything on pause to read this one. Brilliant – thank you. Back to work 🙂
Oh, wow, that’s a big compliment … putting everything on pause to read my blog post. Thank you, Kate! 😀
Another goodie!! Thank you 🙂
I’m glad you like it, Barbara 🙂
I love your verb hippety-hop. That’s a great one.
I sort of had forgotten the word “hippety-hop.” I was reading a few old posts about writing voice and editing, and came across it again. I couldn’t help myself—I had to use it here again. I can’t remember where I originally picked it up from, but I like it, too. 🙂