Oh my, it’s back.
The knot of fear in my stomach.
I stare at my screen. Unable to type. Unable to think.
This blog post sucks. I am a fool. I can’t do it anymore.
Sound familiar?
I used to think I was a writing wimp.
When I tried to “man up” and fight my fears, my stress and anxiety got worse. Why couldn’t I be as confident as everyone else? Why was I so afraid to disappoint my readers? Why was I worrying so much about being a fool?
I’ve since discovered writing fears are normal.
Writing means dealing with the uncertainty of creating something new and then publishing it for other people to judge. It’s exciting, but also scary.
To write, we have to dance with our fears. We have to muster the courage to move forward despite our fears.
You may think fear will evaporate when success arrives, when your readership grows, when you get positive feedback.
But don’t think success is the antidote to fear. While confidence in your writing skills may grow, the feeling of responsibility grows equally fast. So, you have to keep dancing. Always.
The destructive power of fear
Writing fears increase stress; and stress affects our ability to think. So when we’re stressed, we’re less creative.
Fear also breeds procrastination. As psychologist and procrastination expert Neil Fiori states in “The Now Habit:”
Procrastination is a habit you develop to cope with anxiety about starting or completing a task. It is your attempted solution to cope with tasks that are boring or overwhelming.
Fear creates a vicious circle of not feeling good enough, procrastination, guilt about lack of progress, stress, and exhaustion. Throw in a pinch of jealousy and a dollop of self-doubt, and you spiral out of control.
The way to break through that nasty cycle is to learn to dance with your fears. This requires self-compassion, a commitment to getting started, and trust in your process.
I’ve always thought that self-compassion was a fluffy concept
I grew up with the idea that stamina and perseverance matter.
Self-compassion, I thought, was for sissies.
But in the last few years, I’ve discovered the benefits of self-compassion. When I look at myself with kindness, I can take better care of myself. I can be honest about my fears and insecurities, and then find ways to deal with them.
Lisa Feldman Barrett, professor of psychology, suggests that when we understand our feelings more finely, we can gain the tools to deal with emotional challenges. She calls this “emotional granularity:”
Emotional granularity isn’t just about having a rich vocabulary; it’s about experiencing the world, and yourself, more precisely. This can make a difference in your life. In fact, there is growing scientific evidence that precisely tailored emotional experiences are good for you, even if those experiences are negative.
When I started writing, I didn’t understand where all my stress was coming from. My fears felt like a big tangled mess. Identifying each fear was my first step in learning to dance.
Your writing fears may be different from mine. But most fears fall into two categories:
- Fears about our own abilities: Do I have the talent? Am I too slow? Why are others better than me?
- Fears about other people’s judgement: What if I get harsh comments? Or crickets? What if I look like a fool?
When you’ve written down your fears, look at yourself with friendly eyes. If a friend would feel this way, what would you recommend? A good friend would look for the positives in your writing. For instance:
You may think your writing isn’t good enough yet, but I liked your personal story. Sure, your writing can be better. Just keep writing, and your content gets better over time. It’s a learning process.
When I pinpointed my fears more precisely, I also noticed how I jumped to ridiculous conclusions. For instance: After publishing a post with a silly typo, I’d tell myself I could never get things right. Or when I was nervous about publishing my first book, I thought my whole business would be in tatters if the book didn’t sell.
When you learn to catch negative thoughts, you can start being more kind to yourself, and you can learn to dance.
Fear makes us feel overwhelmed
Each writing project can feel enormous, and you might think you’ll never get it done.
Over the last two years, I’ve learned to commit to getting started and doing the work:
- In the evening, I decide my first writing task for the next day, so I can start in the morning without delay and without dithering
- I also commit to getting started by 9.30am and to work fully focused for 25 minutes
- In the morning, I open my document, brew a cup of tea, set my timer, and start writing (by 9.30 at the latest!)
If I’ve committed to writing the evening before, I’ll write—even if I’ve had a bad night, feel groggy, exhausted, or got up with a bad headache.
I try not to worry how my writing will turn out. I try not to think about what you, my readers, might think. I concentrate as much as possible on doing the work for 25 minutes.
Action boosts confidence and courage
When you practice getting started regularly, you don’t have to think about when to write. Your decision to write becomes automatic. You produce more content, and you dance with your fears. Your fears are there but they don’t interrupt you—they don’t interfere with your writing process.
When you write more, your confidence grows, your dancing skills improve, and your writing gets better.
In their book “Art & Fear,” David Bayles and Ted Orland describe an experiment by a ceramics teacher. The teacher divides his class into two groups. One group will be graded based on the quantity of their output only. The other group will be graded on the quality of their best piece only.
Which group do you think created the best work?
That’s right: The group that produced more.
What others might say about your writing
What happens when a piece of writing gets rejected? When it flops? When a client provides withering feedback?
Does a bad or rejected article make you a different person? Or are you still the same person?
We tend to identify with our work.
We see our content as our precious baby. We fear our world might fall apart when others don’t see how beautiful our baby is.
But just like babies grow up to be independent people with their own will and their own rebelliousness, your work doesn’t define you either.
So, write as if your life depends on it.
But then take a step back, and press publish.
And start thinking about your next piece of writing.
Recommended reading on overcoming writing fears:
An open letter to anyone who thinks their writing isn’t good enough
How I made peace with my inner critic
Why I feel like a fake …
I love this blog post.
Especially the dance comparison. When fear paralyses me my writing feels like a slow 2 step dance. Not much excitement happening. Just triple checking all the time.
The 25 minute writing time slot works wonders.
I just let it rip. A sensual tango across the dance floor.
After a little break I go over it and decide if it is worth keeping or not. There is always tomorrow to try again.
Thank you, Henneke.
Yes, that’s so true: “There’s always tomorrow to try again.” I often tell myself that this is good enough for today or this is good enough for now.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Gabriele. I’m glad you enjoyed this. Happy dancing!
I am a fashion blogger. I started my blog March 2016, didn’t feel like I was growing my reader list or social media status so I have been in a huge slumpfor the last 8 months or so. I lost faith in myself and any talent I thought I had not just with writing but the whole blogging process. I have literally been trying to fight through the insecurity and fears without much luck. I started reading your blog posts and they have really helped me not feel so alone and know that my feelings are normal. I look forward to reading more of your posts as they have helped me in knowing how to start moving forward again. You have a great gift and I am so glad I found your voice.
I am glad you found my blog, Terri. I don’t know any blogger who’s not experienced major doubts on blogging. You’re definitely not alone!
Let me know if you have any specific questions?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s wonderful to realize I am not alone. 🙂
Hi Tinthia – You’re definitely not alone. I think most people suffer from writing fears but hardly anyone writes about it. Keep dancing!
Dear Henneke,
How I wish I could read your article earlier! I enjoy reading your “writing-fears” and it just feels like you’ve just speak up all the words in my mind.
Here is one question I want to ask. What does ‘crickets’ mean in the below paragraph?
Does it mean the kind of insects or sports or others?
“Fears about other people’s judgement: What if I get harsh comments? Or crickets? What if I look like a fool? ”
Looking forward to your reply.
Thank you!
“Crickets” refers to the sound of silence—at night in warm, rural places, you only hear the sound of crickets. So, in this paragraph, it refers to the fear of getting no comments at all.
Dear Henneke,
You made my day…I so am excited all of a sudden just like a kid got into a candy store.
“How to improve your content writing skills” is one the best long tail keywords that I have Googled so far, I never know there will be such a wonderful blog that will make a person like me who has all the 21 fears you mentioned, and who is so lame in writing to think of giving a try soon after reading your blog.
Going to dance with my fears and start my first writing stint.
Thanks a ton for the wonderful blog 🙂 Keep inspiring us…
–
With loads of love
Pavithra
Dear Pavithra
I’m sure your writing isn’t as “lame” (your word!) as you think.
Thank you for your lovely comment. Happy dancing!
it’s like throwing a net into me, ’cause you just fished all that(those fears), just the way they are, from within me. i’m glad my paths crossed with yours.
Isn’t it amazing how similar we all are? And yet, we all tend to think we’re the only ones having such fears. Happy writing, Cynthia!
Yeah. I believe all that is really needed is more communication and understanding hearts. what do you think?
Yes, I thinks so. Talking (or writing) about our fears helps understand fears are normal; and when we understand our fears, we can learn to dance with them.
Hey Henneke, I heard Debbie Millman on the Tim Ferriss Show podcast recently.
She read out a listener question, something like ‘what do you do to overcome the dreaded imposter syndrome when planning to do some work?’
Her reply, ‘Well that implies that I’ve overcome the dreaded imposter syndrome!’
🙂
She also mentioned Dani Shapiro’s observation that courage is more important than confidence in writing (http://danishapiro.com/on-doing-what-scares-you/), which is a lovely article.
And I’d second Kerstin’s recommendation of Tara Brach. I’m reading her book ‘Radical Acceptance’ at the moment. Fab so far. Drawing on a similar (Buddhist) source to Cynthia Kane. One for the book list?
Loved your article. It’s all about the learning – and choosing – to dance.
‘take a step back, and press publish’. 😉
Yes, it does sound like another one for my reading list!
That quote from Debbie Millman is great. Isn’t it amazing how many people suffer from imposter syndrome? I always think everyone else is superbly confident.
Thank you for stopping by to add to the conversation, Jonathan. Here’s to more dancing with our fears!
PS Also appreciate your sharing the article from Dani Shapiro. I didn’t know her yet. I like the article.
Amazing story, I just need to read amazing stories from time to time to move on. Thank you, Henneke
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Jane. Happy writing!
Dear Henneke,
I had to laugh a little as I read your list of 21 writing fears…you see I am new to content writing and after having spent a near 3 full weeks on my first article, I saw myself in all 21 fears! Except at the time I was identifying them some of my time was spent blubbering like a baby. So at this point laughter is good. Thank you so much for the article, I truly do feel much better and much, much less alone! And I do believe my next article will go more quickly than the first. Oh I still have a long ways to go before I am a good writer but at least I am no longer frozen in one spot.
Hi Terri, I’m glad you were laughing a little. I’ve found that laughing is quite a good antidote to fear!
I probably spent three months on writing my first article, so you’re relatively quick 🙂
Keep writing!
Taking action is normally the hardest part. Well said. I am really struggling with beginning to write everyday. This leads to procrastination which normally involves me ending up on YouTube watching unproductive videos. This has become a real problem for me. I want to write and in fact I love to write, but every time I set out to begin writing, I feel paralyzed.
Have you thought about chopping up the writing process in different tasks? This helps me a lot with writing, because I know I don’t have to do everything in one go, and I have more time to think about what I want to write, too. The first day, I might only pick an idea and write down a few points I want to include. The next day, I write a first draft. And on another day, I edit the content. You may find this post about writing first drafts useful, too: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/writing-shitty-first-drafts/
The timer trick mentioned in the article can help a lot, too.
Let me know how you get on?
I even downloaded focus booster the app for time management but I never used it, not even on one occassion. However, your idea of breaking up a writing into chunks sounds manageable and enjoyable as well. I will try that one.
Yes, the chunks make writing manageable for me. I hope you’ll try it!
I would like to officially declare this post to be my favorite from the “emotional support for writers” category 🙂
“Does a bad or rejected article make you a different person?”
This is actually one of my life’s mantras (right after “stop trying to be liked”).
As so many people have mentioned already, this advice goes beyond writing. What others think of you does not make you a different person. That’s why I don’t take negative feedback personally but try to dissect it to see whether there is objective truth in it I can learn from and do it better next time.
It’s easier said than done, though. Because this requires getting your support and encouragement that will keep you going from somewhere else: Family, friends, your peers. We are still social beings that have this need to be accepted. And that’s ok. We just shouldn’t let each and every opinion and fear (even if it’s our own) influence us.
There is a Russian proverb: “Even if you are an angel, someone will be disturbed by the sound of your wings”.
It helps to remember when you are afraid of doing something unusual or weird: If you want to do it, if you think you’ve done your best creating it, this is all that matters. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and hit “publish”.
“I would like to officially declare this post to be my favorite from the “emotional support for writers” category”
Oh my, what an honor!
I love your Russian proverb. I’m going to remember that one as I’m sure it can strengthen me when I find it hard to distance myself from negative feedback. I try to evaluate whether feedback is constructive or not, and whether it’s relevant. Quite often negative feedback doesn’t have anything to do with what we’ve done but with the mood the feedback-giver is in. But even when I realize that, the negative feedback can still keep swirling around in our minds! Life is one long learning experience.
Thank you for adding your thoughts, Gill! I appreciate it, as always.
I am not writer but when I read your blog I want to start writing something. Relay, you’ve always inspired me. Thank you so very much.
Thank you, Ketan! 🙂
I just LOVE you.
😉 …
Awwww, thank YOU, Raquel. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke,
Ok, I just read your blog post instead of writing the post I was going to write. What’s that about? Instead of having a blog post, now I have lots of tips about how to get started to having a blog post! Ha ha. Humans are funny, aren’t they?
You’ve inspired me again but instead of telling you all about it, I’m going to sign off and get to work.
Hugs.
Hi Julia
Yes, I agree. We, humans, are funny. Better to laugh about ourselves, right?
I’m so happy to read I’ve inspired you. Happy writing! Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Very insightful piece, Henneke,
Loved the story on quantity vs quality as I didn’t expect the focus on getting started to result in higher quality work. Always had it the other way round.
I could relate to the part where most of us identity with our work and beat ourselves up too much over delivering “crappy” content. Read the book, A New Earth, and this identification was also mentioned as one of the root causes for not being happy.
Thanks for the inspiring post yet again!
Yes, the quantity vs quality debate is fascinating. I don’t think it means that we should focus solely on quantity as we don’t want to deliver rubbish content. But it’s true that I’ve found that my writing has improved most by keeping up a regular writing (and publishing) habit. Every time we write we learn more about our writing process, and can improve more. I think it’s a fine balance of quantity vs quality.
Thank you for adding your thoughts, Nazir. I appreciate it!
I’m always looking forward to seeing your next write up. You’ve always inspired me. Thank you so very much.
Thank you so much, Emmanuel. I appreciate your comment 🙂
Thanks Henneke for another great article.
I think the listing of your fears is a great way to abstract yourself from the nagging thoughts when you’re just too close.
As for fears that might arise when writing a specific article might I suggest a technique? It involves being one of those irksome 5 years olds when they keep asking ‘why’? If you’re not certain you’re getting your points over, or even if you have a point to make keep asking ‘why’ for each uncertain issue you may have.
This is a really good way to drill down to the heart of what you want to say and feel more certain in what you’re saying and feel more confident in your writing and tackle those demons head-on!
Yes, that’s a good technique. Thank you for adding that, Guy. Sometimes it’s hard to know why we’re stuck!
This did it for me.
Sat there for days, struggling with headlines, sub headlines and sales copy.
They were all rubbish – unoriginal, not me, not like Henny says it should be.
Then this arrives
Although all is not now well I am starting to think that some of the work was not so bad after all.
Where’s the rubbish bin
Thanks H
Yes, when you’re evaluating a draft, start with looking for what works first. This is what you want to keep. Then look for what you want to improve.
Writing is a process. We have to start somewhere (and often the first drafts suck), but we can use our revisions to improve even the crappiest drafts. Look for the bright spots first.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for this post. It came at the right time for me. I had this thinking that I can’t be a good writer because I am not used to writing. I got suprised by the result when I decided to challenge myself. I wrote non-stop for about 15 minutes!
Yay for writing non-stop for 15 minutes!
You’ll find that over time it becomes easier to stay focused for that time. You exercise your writing muscles just like you do a workout in the gym. Happy writing!
Hi Henneke,
Great post. Thank you. In a time when I’m unsubscribing from countless bloggers/marketers/coaches/etc to clean up my Inbox, I know you’re someone that won’t soon be deleted. Keep it up. You’re amazing.
Eric
Thank you so much, Eric. That means a lot to me. It really does.
Hi Henneke,
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. That’s true, the only way to beat anxiety is to do whatever scares you. Again and again. Be persistent in doing your best, and it will become easier in time.
All the best. ?
Yes, it’ll become easier, but never easy! Creative work is challenging, isn’t it?
Thank you for stopping by, Irina. I appreciate it.
This is so timely and spot on. Another thing that I have noticed with my own fear and procrastination is that it can really do damage to my self image. I start to think to myself well I am just a lazy person. Or I am a flake or unprofessional. Not a great way to see yourself when things need to get done (including marketing)!
Neil Fiori also talks about seeing ourselves as lazy in his book “The Now Habit.” He argues quite strongly that procrastination has nothing to do with laziness. It’s really about self-compassion and learning to deal with our fears. I recommend his book. It resonated quite strongly with me, and his tips are practical (based on years of working with procrastinators).
Thank you for your comment, Fayola.
As always, this is about so much more than writing. Full of grace, love and wisdom. Grateful for you! ?
And I’m grateful for you! 🙂
Having to be the best is a very difficult task, whereas just producing and seeing what you do is much more freeing. Thanks so much.
Yes, that’s a good way to put it: “producing and seeing what you do.” That’s how I try to embrace uncertainty rather than get scared by it.
Thank you for adding your thoughts!
‘Which group do you think created the best work?
That’s right: The group that produced more. ‘
That rather surpises me. Could it be because that group just produced more, so there were more results to pick from?
Yes, the quantity group produced a lot more and learned from their mistakes, while the quality group tried making the one perfect piece (and did a lot of theorizing about perfection). The story doesn’t tell how advanced the students were, and I don’t think it’s meant to suggest that we should always put quantity over quality.
The way I see it is that producing regularly without aiming for perfection helps us get to grips with the creation process. By repeating the process, we learn from our mistakes and we learn how the process works.
I also think that I’ve improved my own writing skills in the past few years because I’ve committed myself to publishing (almost) every week. I learn from every post I write.
‘And did a lot of theorizing about perfection’ – ha!
I agree writing a lot helps. But at some point I find that progression stops. Unless, may be, you venture into a new area. But for beginning writers it is undoubtedly true.
I haven’t written enough yet to reach a plateau! (Or perhaps I haven’t noticed?)
Henneke:
You have an uncanny ability to hit the “nail on the head!”
Thanks so much for putting reality into perspective.
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Susan!
Hi Henneke,
number 20 made me laugh. What are you talking about? Your English is way better than most native speakers’.
Anyway, I’m sending a hug to make you feel better. Also, you should check out Tara Brach and the RAIN of self-compassion. Google it. It will be the best 10 minutes you spend today, I promise.
But not my pronunciation … my pronunciation is weird! This is the silly thing as it has nothing to do with my writing skills 🙂
Thank you for your lovely comment and for your tip on Tara Brach. I’ll check her out later!
Hi Henneke,
I really enjoyed this piece! And it does apply to other areas. When I talk to clients about starting a healthy program, often they procrastinate because they’re afraid of failure.
I like the idea of deciding what you’ll work on the evening before. I’m noticing that I procrastinate getting to writing in the morning. Reading emails, etc. Looking at my cute baby:)
Thank you for sharing this personal take on your writing.
It really works for me to do my writing before answering emails, before reading the newspapers, and before checking social media. I’m not fully disciplined, so I often have a quick look here and there, but I really try to get some writing done before getting distracted by other stuff – I know that’s harder than when you have a busy household like you. But you might want to try to write as soon as you can find some focused time. Could you also set a deadline by which time you could start? It doesn’t work for me to say I always start at 9am. I sometimes start at 8.30, sometimes 9.00, and not later than 9.30. This give me the right balance of direction and freedom.
One of the advantages of deciding what to work on the evening before, is that my mind keeps working on the post (even while I sleep). Barbara Oakley calls this process diffused thinking (in her book A Mind for Numbers). She argues that to solve problems (and writing an article is similar to solving a problem) we need both focused thinking and diffused thinking. So stepping away from our writing to take breaks can help us write faster.
It even works for me to read through a list of headline options before I go to bed, and then when I wake up, I know which one to pick (or an even better one pops in my mind).
Great post and so true. Just push through the fear, write, post and do it all again.
The quote currently on my whiteboard is: “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will” by Suzy Kassem. Believe in yourself, you can do it!
Great quote. So true!
Thank you for sharing, Lynette 🙂
Hi Henneke –
This is another great post – thank you. I’m still glad to be on your email list.
I just wanted to point out a possible typo in your infographic. Should “This is too personal too share” maybe be “This is too personal to share”. If you agree with me, maybe it would be worth fixing.
All the best.
Peter
P.S. You don’t need to publish this comment!
Thank you so much for pointing that out, Peter. I fixed it!
Glad to have you as a reader 🙂
The topic certainly has been top of mind. Nice to see your take on it.
Art & Fear is one of my favorites as well.
Now for some coffee and a date with my own blank pages.
Cheers!
I liked some parts of Art & Fear a lot, but I didn’t quite feel it was written for me. I don’t really see myself as an artist 😉
I really enjoyed the practical tips in The Now Habit (which is not specifically about art, but about procrastination in general).
Thank you for stopping by again, Lori!
I’ll have to pick up a copy of The Now Habit. It sounds familiar. Sometimes I forget that I’ve already read a book. 😉
You don’t really see yourself as an artist…and yet look at the all of the art you produce. You don’t see yourself as a writer, and ditto on that score.
I don’t see myself as a business type. Sometimes these paper tiger cages get the best of us…for a bit anyway. With perseverance we can break through these circles…and with a process and a plan.
That’s my current theory, and I’m sticking with it.
Cheers!
Yes, of course, you’re right, and I definitely liked parts of Art & Fear, but some of it was more for artists with serious aspirations—like getting paintings in a museum.
I seem to struggle with labels. I don’t feel like an artist and I don’t feel like an entrepreneur either. I just do what I do and try not to worry about which box suits me 🙂
Amazon has warned me once when I tried to purchase the same book for a second time 😀
EXACTLY what I needed again Henneke, for a very long time actually. I think this is one of my favourite articles by you so far. Can’t even find the words to describe how much I appreciate this article. Definitely helps me to understand my own process and to find comfort in knowing that others (even successful writers like yourself) face the same challenges. Thank you thank you thank you!
Yes, we all face similar challenges, so you shouldn’t feel alone. Don’t give up!
Thank you so much for your comment and for taking the time to stop by, Jessica. I appreciate it!
Righteous writing, Henneke! Thank you.
Thank you, Cindy!
I really like your baby reference. I think it’s really interesting how you said your work doesn’t define you either…. can you explain some more?
I don’t think there’s an easy trick to stop defining ourselves through our work. One thing that helps me is to start thinking about my next writing task as soon as one is finished. But it’s also about realizing that what we can (and can’t) do doesn’t define who we are. I’ve written a little more about it here: https://www.enchantingmarketing.com/my-inner-critic/
Thank you Henneke. Your advice on dealing with writing fears is a reminder on why we should keep at it. The recommendations you’ve made to address fear go beyond the realm of writing and can help us overcome most of life’s concerns.
Yes, don’t give up. Keep writing!
Thank you for your comment, Esperance. I appreciate it!
Henneke, this post is golden…
all of it is true, and comforting in the right way, so it’s abundantly useful!
Thank you for the light you bring.
What a lovely comment, Debra. Thank you for cheering me on.
This article helps further define writers’ block for me. I shall have to read it many more times to take in all the wisdom, here.
Overwhelm. Or boredom. Two opposite causes, working hand in hand to thwart us. Oh, dear, I think you’ve nailed it.
Thanks so much! <3
Yes, it’s kind of weird, isn’t it … boredom and overwhelm. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but somehow the two concepts might be closer related than they seem at first sight.
It feels like I keep learning more about writer’s block every month. It’s like I have to invent new tactics, climb different mountains, sneak around new obstacles every time 😉
I thought I was the only one with those fears, it made me feel understood.
In my opinion, doing anything creative takes a lot of courage. I have deep admiration for writers, architects, YouTubers and so on. When I realized I was going to be judged both for doing and not doing stuff the fear disappeared for me as I’d rather get judged for being bold and creating things.
How are you? I’ve read you’re not feeling well?
You’re definitely not alone!
I like this idea: “When I realized I was going to be judged both for doing and not doing stuff the fear disappeared for me as I’d rather get judged for being bold and creating things.” Thank you for adding that!
I’ve had a few tough days health-wise (so typically, fear raises it’s ugly head!), but I’m on the mend. I feel a lot better today. Thank you for asking 🙂
Oh, I am glad at least you are feeling better. Take care of yourself, our bodies go first!
By the way, I tried your technique of the 25 min writing packs, first thing in the morning with a cup of tea and it worked for me, so thank you for sharing this trick of yours 🙂
Yes, so true – health always first.
Great to hear the 25 mins (with a cup of tea!) worked for you, too. That makes me happy 🙂
My husband also works from home most days, and he has wondered why I need to brew so many cups of tea… well, I need a fresh cup of tea every 25 mins 😀
I loved this post Henneke. Our fears can destroy us. My father used to say that we need to be our best friends, and we can be our worst enemies.
That’s so true! I had only heard about us being our own worst enemies, I like the contrast of becoming our own best friends instead. Thank you for commenting, Daniel.
I think what you write here is true in all of life. Not only writing.
In my work as a somatic transformation mentor, one of the things i teach people is:
1) Fear is natural and not something you need to fight or avoid.
2) Fear when felt in a healthy way is energy for your body. Energy you can learn use to write that blog post or whatever.
Thank you. I like getting your email.
Marie Lumholtz
I like how you’ve put that, Marie: “Fear when felt in a healthy way is energy for your body.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that, but it’s a great way to reframe fear and see it as a source of life affirmative power.
Thank you so much for adding your thoughts!
Hi Marie,
I realize that fear is natural. But I didn’t know that fear is a healthy way to energize one’s body. Fear tends to create anxiety for me. I prefer to be relaxed and comfortable so that I can think clearly. Fear sometimes makes me panic. However, I’m wondering how a person can write and keep the thoughts coming in one after the other. Sometimes when I write, I draw a blank. If you know this answer, please share. I would greatly appreciate it.
Thanks,
Carol
Hi Carol, I refer fear as excitement in disguise 🙂 endless of course you are faced with something that threatens you life, fear is just a feeling. Its a feeling that is produced from the body when you get out of your comfort zone. Your ego loves to keep you in your comfort zone and keep you safe, so when you step out of the norm of daily life, fear which can be a feeling of anxiety will creep in as you have not been where you are going before. This is natural.
Feeling a little fear because you are out of your comfort zone is actually quite energising as in you feel those butterflies rather like when you are excited about something 🙂 Its knowing how to recognise the healthy fear and the unhealthy fear. Unhealthy fear is when you are constantly worrying and have anxiety about life in general and cannot do anything because of it. Sometimes this is having panic attacks like you mention.
When I feel anxiety or feeling uncomfortable I tune into my body to see where the feeling is coming from and what might of caused it, usually its because I gone out of my comfort zone or thinking about it. But usually when writing, and I feel fear, I know that I am on to something that needs to be written or taken action upon, and have trust and faith (key) to allow me to take that action. I know its not life threatening.
Its best to outline a few subjects ahead of time of what you want to write to overcome the writers block so you have something to work on, thats what I do in Scrivener or word. Every time you have an idea write down for the next time you draw a blank 🙂 Think of all the subjects you know on your subject and list out outlines for a series of blog posts.
Hi Carol
I think it’s normal to draw a blank when writing. It happens to me, too. Formulating our thoughts can be surprisingly hard. I use several strategies to get unstuck in such a situation:
1) Accept that it’s normal that writing doesn’t flow
2) Never expect to get things right the first time (I go through many revisions of each blog post). The first rough draft may simply be a way to articulate my thoughts; I start thinking about how to communicate my ideas better in the next draft.
3) Walk away – sometimes I just need more time to think about something. Writing can be like solving a difficult problem, and to solve difficult problems we need a mix of focused time (when we concentrate on trying to understand the problem, look at it from different angles and see how we can solve it) and diffused thinking (when we go out for a walk or wash the dishes, our mind often continues processing ideas – this is why our best ideas often pop up when we shower)
4) Write over a series of days. The first day pick an idea to write about; the second day write down a list of questions, create a mindmap or outline; the third day, write a first draft; the fourth day, edit. This way of writing also takes advantage of “percolation.”
5) Start writing gibberish to get my fingers moving; this often kicks my brain into gear, too, and can stop negative thoughts.
6) When I feel overwhelmed, I try relaxation exercises or meditation.
7) Taking more breaks and write in shorter bursts – sometimes I set my timer at only 15 minutes.
I hope this helps!
What a great article, as usual Henneke; and as Kathy says, valid way beyond writing.
Thank you for all your inspiration – for being so truthful and open
I’ve learned that being truthful only helps me become stronger.
I appreciate your comment, Gerri. Thank you.
Henneke, Thank you – excellent post.
With a very independent wife, I find “my best work is always produced when I write as if my wife depends on it.”
I like that! Thank you for sharing, Peter 🙂
Brilliant. So applicable beyond writing.
You are such a gift to this world. Hope you are feeling better today.
Lots of love and healing.
Thank you so much, Kathy. I’ve learned a lot from you, too!
Great article, been procrastinating for years thinking I’m not good enough , had lots of fear of being rejected, start out all gung ho then question myself, thx..for the article.
That sounds familiar. The longer it takes to finish a piece of writing and publish it, the louder the doubts usually become.
Don’t give up. Keep writing!